fob is a pain and i feel like a bitch

[sciencemum]

Hello

Just wanted a bit of input / advice / sympathy perhaps?

Basically, me and the babys dad are not together, we were only together for about 3 weeks, it was one of those things where I thought i'd try get on with life and give things a shot and... it just didnt work, he is not a bad guy or anything, just not the one for me. But anyway, skip to today.

Im 38 weeks pregnant, and have not seen babys dad since 12 weeks, at first things were okay, then I got called pathetic and morbid and all sorts of crap from him. Then we didnt speak for a while - then i got threatened with court and told I wasnt thinking of the baby if I didnt give her to him 50-50.

Now he text me last night telling me he has lost his job because his boss made him choose between his job (saturday job) and the baby, his family have fallen out with him because they say he should walk away from the baby and he was supposed to be going to college to stud but now he is not doing that and has no place to live... me?

I have moved 100 miles away back to where my family are, left all my friends and such behind, got a nice house and everything ready for the baby, I suffer alot with depression / schozophrenia and have come off all medication and really really tried to hold it all together for the babys sake.

Now, the babys dad seems to think that he is coming to stay with me twice a month and i am going to newcastle once a month to do the whole acces thing, but, I just feel that is way too much and want to tell him to get lost, it wont happen.

I have said that I will not stop him seeing her, but its not all about him and when he wants to see her, because we have our lifes too and seing him 3 weekends out of a month seems ALOT and after threatening me with court, I don't want him coming to my home that I have worked to hard to get.

No i feel like a prize bitch because I am not going to be trecking up and down the country and handing my baby over all the time, I think that i will visit him once a month to spend time with him and the baby and will be flexiable in between, but he hasnt a job, no place to live and I barely know the guy!

Don;t really know why I wrote all this, just needed to get it out, eek 2 weeks to go, want to enjoy it but i feel in pieces and im starting to crack - want my meds back and for it all to go away.

 

[billy2mm]

he isnt being realisitic at all!!!

he shoudlnt expect you to have to travel all that distance all the times with a new born baby!!

let him take you to court to sort out access coz he isnt being at all reasonable.

 

[Kate&Lucas]

Yeah, let him take you to court hun, let a judge tell him how ridiculous he sounds.

 

[SRTBaby]

I cant see him getting any sympathy from the court, yeah tell him to take you to court. And dont allow him to stay at your place, i remember your original posting about your situation and how stressed you were.

You are doing great now, dont let him interfere with the life you have set up for you and LO.

 

[gemabee]

i do think when lo is a bit older tho u should be makin the journey.
i'm jus sayin this from experience... when my mum nd dad got divorced she moved us nearly 200 miles away... a court (nd my parents) decided that it wasn't fair that my dad had to do all the travelling... especially as it was my mum who moved us nd he had no say in the matter.
he would come nd stay twice a month for a weekend each time... then my mum nd step dad would drive us to his each school holiday, nd come nd pick us up. it wasn't a short journey for anyone involved... but the court nd my parents recognised that both my parents were equal parents nd neither could take that right off the other one without justification.
in ur situation (ie young - i'm assuming - nd neither drivin) it would be difficult to arrange how to make it fairer... so i agree bout goin to court nd lettin them decide what would be best.
there's no way u'd have to be makin the journey while the baby is still young... but when the child is older... u'll have to be fair on the father as well.
xx