FOB just wont listen...

[MrsKippling]

Im at a loss, he takes DD2 (My only child fathered by him) once a week. I do trust him, he is by all means a good dad when it comes to the fun things. We still have a few problems with each other but we are working through it. When his contact was first established I laid down a few ground rules and he agreed to them but now he just seems to do the opposite of what i ask...

E.G I dont want any new partners meeting X until he has been with them at LEAST 6months (this goes for me too) - he put a photo on facebook the other day of his girlfriend holding X...they have only been together about a fortnight
I say offer water not juice...he has given her diluting juice and baby juice.
I asked that he doesnt let her sleep after about 4pm, when i went to collect X yesterday they were having a nap at 6.30pm...

Ive tried talking to him about it but he thinks i am questioning his parenting and/or says being her father he has a right to decide what she eats/drinks and when she sleeps.

MEN! Any ideas? xx

 

[Kacie]

Sorry hun I am in the same boat.

FOB has LO Saturdays and a few hours on Weds. I make sure she has all the food/nappies etc. that she needs.

She comes back with exactly what I put in the bag and he just says he "got his own food" ??? I have no idea what he feeds her, when, or how many bottles she takes and he wont tell me. I asked him to give water not juice but he's still giving juice.. I even gave him the leaflet with the HV's advice on it to avoid juice! but i saw an empty juice jar on the side when i went to pick her up last time.

Now she is even coming back in different nappies and different clothes.. And he told me that after 'suposedly' being with his GF for a week that they had spent the whole day together playing mummies and daddies.. it's irresponsible in my eyes but the court wont care about it so I have to live with it.

It makes me mad but can't let him see that. He is doing it for exactly that reaction. As far as I am concerned, as long as she comes back in one piece then I can deal with the rest.

Hopefully solicitors and mediation will help with the rest for us.

I hope your FOB calms down soon for you, nothing i can help with though i'm afraid.. just sympathise.



Edit: Oh I should say though, due to all sorts of reasons the ex is currently having supervised visits with his neighbour keeping an eye on him which makes me feel a little better about LO's safety but he still plays these little games.

Somewhere along the line I guess I just have to come to terms with the fact that I screwed up and gave my LO a rubbish FOB.. but we are stuck with him so I have to accept that he will do some things his own way when he has her. Tough to accept but I just want her safe.

 

[purpledahlia]

I would sit him down and talk to him about it, Just say LO needs to be in a good routine and your happy to include him in decisions about that routine, so long as he keeps her in the same one so that your not both doing different things and confusing the child!
x