FOB passed away, which surname?

[xdxxtx]

So, so, so sorry for your loss... In my opinion, I'd give the child my own last name. Or hyphenate it. But, I'd want my last name to be the same as my child's, and if I did ever marry in the future, I'd let my child decide whether or not to change their last name, and hopefully I'd find someone my child loved so much that they'd want to have their last name. Yes, I do know someone who loves her "step" father so much that she decided to take on his last name with her mother. I'm NOT saying that's even in your head right now, but could be a reality in the future, and I do hope for lots of happiness for you and your child.

 

[Mrs HM]

If I were in the same situation I'd want to honour LO's father but I wouldn't give them his last name. I'd either use it as a middle name or joint with my own as a surname. I would want my child to have all or part of their name the same as my own.

So sorry for your loss.

 

[Mummymoo_x]

Sorry for your loss

I gave my baby my OH's name, we aren't married, I think its nice to give them the fathers name depending on the circumstances I also prefered his name to mine.

I think it'd be nice for your baby to take his name as he/she will have that connection to his/hers father if you get what I mean.

at the end of the day its your decision, good luck with everything xx

 

[Rickles]

I absolutely would give LO father's name as a middle name... then if you remarry and both want a "family" name they won't have to choose to lose that link to their past, it will be there forever... But also you are all the LO has got, you are family now - and your name is the family name.

My mum had a different name to me (due to divorce) and I admit I hated it... I was never going to change mine, but lots of people tried to do it for me - at school and clubs etc!!

That's just my opinion, you should absolutely do what feels right to you xx

 

[kat_s]

Thank you so much for all of these replies, everyone! I havent been online in a while, I'd honestly forgotten that I'd even posted a thread! I remembered this afternoon and thought I'd pop back in.

My mum actually apologised to me a while back and said that what I do is my decision and she recognises that she is being childish about it, so I think I've decided that I'm giving the baby his surname, just because it is what feels right to me.

Thank you everyone for your condolences and advice!

 

[princessvix]

Have you considered double barreling so your child has both. Maybe the fathers name could be part of a middle name. I personally would want the same surname as my child. So I would have my name in there too.... Although this is a completely individual decision you will have to make.

I'm sorry to hear of your loss and hope that you hold many many memories of your unboems daddy. Xxx

 

[MariposaTam]

So sorry for your loss what a terrible thing to endure.

If I were in your shoes, I think I would definitely make sure that dad is honored in baby's name somehow. I think for legal reasons I would probably hyphenate the names, because it eliminates confusion and possibly unnecessary paper work, but somehow my baby would honor his/her daddy. It is absolutely your decision, and not your mom's as much as she would like to make it for you, ultimately you would regret not following your heart for this. After all, this will be you and your baby's future.