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For those who became single whilst still pregnant...

I wasnt single when I gave birth but I didnt want to just read it and not reply! Is there no aunt or cousin you have to have in with you?
Mayb your just looking into it too much! I think you will be amazed at just how good some people can be when you have them with you! I am lucky as me and my mum are close but maybe you could have both of your friends??
 
i was going to say that too. have both your friends and they can swap over now and then.
im sorry you feel lonely, pregnancy feels so long when you feel like that :hugs:
my mum was my birth partner but we are quite close.
good luck
xx
 
i got my sis to be my birth partner, she going to my 20 week scan with me this week. i say take your friend the weak one she may surprise you and be strong, if ther's no one else you can get.
 
I had my mum and my best friend as my birthing partners. I would have probably asked my sister instead of my best friend if she hadn't been due two days after me!

Good luck for your scan on tuesday :hugs: xx
 
i had my mom, i was scared we would fight, and we didn't, it made us so much closer
 
I had my best friend and she was brilliant :D

I was a bit worried that she might be squeamish but she loved it! She was in floods of tears when Lola arrived! Its not like watching an operation with blood & gore....its a little miracle :cloud9:

I want to watch someone give birth! xx
 
If you can afford it, a doula might be a good idea.
 
I'm having my mum and my best friend.. My mum missed out on most of my pregnancy because of my asshole of an ex so I really want her to be there so she feels involved and is able to hold her first grandchild before anyone else :)! Dunno how much use my best friend will be though haha. Whoever you take hun it'll make you that much closer and you'll be able to share that memory forever xx
 
Hiya hun... I'm getting a doula I think. She's £400 but I just really want someone there who I can trust to support me. I think she lets you pay in monthly installments so it doesn't seem too much in one go... x
 
I really know how you feel. FOB isn't in my life, I am close to my mom though and I'm having her there and she's been really supportive but I guess I'm really feeling clingy and need someone else there. Even though my mom is really supportive I think I want her there b/c this is her first grandchild and I just feel like it would be wrong if she wasn't there but I just feel like I need some more support.

I have one friend who said she'd be there but I hardly talk to her. I have a close friend who says she's excited for me and wants to be there for me and I really want her to be there but sometimes it feels like she's not excited and doesn't want to be there for me. She had been excited to go to my dr.'s appt. with me and her boyfriend decided he wanted to go up north and evidently it's something they do every year and hadn't been able to do it yet this year and were going to be gone on the day of my appt. I was so upset and on top of that my mom was in the hospital so I was going to have to go alone and I was scared b/c I had been really stressed and upset had some cramping and was really scared and she left and I had to go alone. Luckily everything checked out ok but I was still sad to go alone. I think it's b/c FOB isn't there and he would usually be doing all this with me that I need someone to fill in. I feel bad depending on her so much but at the same time she's pretty much my best friend and it's kinda what you do for your best friend.

My next appt. is for my scan (which is what she had wanted to go with me for b/c I'll be finding out what I'm having) and I have NO idea if she's going with me or not. She's supposed to be there at the birth for me as well and said she's going to be there but now her boyfriend FINALLY decided he wants to FOR SURE get married and its going to be 3 weeks before I'm due! & of course they'll honeymoon after that so now I'm really nervous and scared that she's not going to be there for my birth. Babies come early but not usually THAT early but still it makes me really nervous and scared. I don't want to say anything either b/c then they'll just get mad, esp. her boyfriend but it's like they've known about this for 4 months now and it's not like I can change my due date!!

Anyways, I'm really sorry to rant on your post but I was just sayin' that even though my mom is going to be there I still feel really alone and know how you feel.
 
My mum and my sister through most of it, then FOB decided to turn up at the last minute (just while i was pushing) and so he got to see the birth.

I would do whatever you feel most comfortable with. It is nice to have someone there i guess, but i was only vaguely aware of them being there - was too painful to really talk to anyone or to even know if they were helping me or not! Lol. And then after the birth i wanted to be alone with my baby so didn't really need them there then either - so really i don't think it makes much difference if you even have a birthing partner! Lol. In my experience anyway, lol.

Good luck with whatever you decide :hugs: xxx
 
I'm thinking of asking a friend. My mum says she doesn't know if she'd be able to watch someone else go through labour, and I wouldn't want her there if she felt uncomfortable. She gave birth to me on her own though (my dad had been sent home from the hospital as the nurses told him I wouldn't show up until the next morning) so I'm sure I could cope alone as well if I had to. It might make it easier just to focus on myself.
 
I'm thinking of asking a friend. My mum says she doesn't know if she'd be able to watch someone else go through labour, and I wouldn't want her there if she felt uncomfortable. She gave birth to me on her own though (my dad had been sent home from the hospital as the nurses told him I wouldn't show up until the next morning) so I'm sure I could cope alone as well if I had to. It might make it easier just to focus on myself.

My mum said its horrible watching someone you love in that much pain. If you have a good friend then thats an option! Hopefully your friend will want to see it.. I would love to be someones birth partner and see it from that perspective
 
i have kind of decided my big sister, mummy, best friend, her mum, fob's mother and 2 sisters will all take turns, for the actual birth it will just be my sister. she knows how to be supportive and i trust her to tell me to shut up when i am making a fool of myself...
the birthing centre I am looking into has like a living room for family to wait in, and then the labour room, they allow up to 3 people at a time...

xx
 
i plan to have my mum there to keep me company up until its time to deliver and then i want to be left alone, i just cant imagine wanting anyone to be in the room with me.
 
I'm in the same boat...my ENTIRE family lives halfway across the country. My mom is coming out for a couple of weeks to help me when the baby is born, but there is no guarantee that she will be here on the day and while I love my mom, we've never been particularly close. I don't think we'd fight, really, but she always seems likes she's off in a different place when I'm trying to have a serious conversation with her, let alone having a baby; I could see that annoying me.

I don't have any really close girlfriends here, but I do have a couple friends that have offered to help with anything...so for once in my life, I'm going to (gasp) ASK FOR HELP. Daddy keeps popping in and out and I really don't think he'll miss the birth...but he's not been real reliable, so I'm trying to plan around him.

LOL...I have had a few DISGUSTING guys offer to help me with birthing classes and with the birth. My disheveled and confused mechanic, my friend's drunk husband and a guy that might have been in his mid-60's that I met at a station event. Ewwww....so nice of them to offer, but it made me feel gross.
 
Hey there,

Im in the same boat...and want to go it alone as well. I def dont get along with my mom, and dont have a super close friend atm. My husband and I split about 3 weeks ago and we dont even speak. He could really care less about the pregnancy. He wont show his face again untill the baby is born...leaving me to the pregnancy alone. (He did this with our first before we married).

Anyway, you are not alone. I know alot of women go through this. And if they could do it, we can too.

I am thinking of a doula (sp). I know they are spendy, but there are some who are very low cost and some even free.
 
I'm still really undecided.

Although my friend did come to my scan and we spent the day baby shopping afterwards I haven't heard from her since!!! Just getting to the point where I feel like I am done begging for her friendship (I always contact her first - I feel like it's begging)!

Soooo frustrating. In a perfect world FOB would be there and it will be something to look forward to. Right now he has taken everything away from me!

I hope he doesn't show his face when LO is born because god help him! x
 

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