Friend 10WK pregnant. (Rant, sort of.)

[Serene123]

My friend is getting married in April but her and her fiancee have been trying for a baby for a year almost. She had a miscarriage mid-last year and on friday she told me she's pregnant again! She's 10 weeks now and of course I'm extatic for her, our mums were pregnant at the same time with us. However, they've tried so hard and I can't help feeling if she does have a miscarraige, god forbid, I'm going to feel so bad about it. They're trying so hard and then for me it just happens? I can't wait for her to get out of the first tri. I feel like it's me back there, waiting for my 12wk scan, hoping everything's O.K. I just really hope that her and her baby are O.K. because she deserves this, she really does. Ahh, I'm getting upset now I just can't help feelng like if she loses her LO I'm going to feel so guilty for the rest of my pregnancy? I know she'd never resent me for being pregnant, and she'd still want to be around for it all but it'd nag at me, you know? I guess me and her will both just have to get praying that this ones a sticky one!

 

[coccyx]

Why do you feel that she will miscarry again? Majority of ladies go on to have asuccessful pregnancy after a miscarriage. Sure your friend would not resent you being pregnant if she did miscarry. We have ahistory of miscarriage and I can say that I never resented my friends who had babies. Carry on being a good , supportive friend

 

[Serene123]

It's not that I think she will miscarry again I just really hope she doesn't. I can't help worrying for her we've been so close since we were babies. Everything will probably be fine, I just hope it is

 

[snugglemuffin]

Everything crossed for both of you!!

 

[Always&4ever]

sending sticky thoughts to your friend

 

[Tam]

My sister had a successful pregnancy after a MC, so that does happen too!

I hope everything goes well for her. x

 

[Margerle]

I know what you mean. My first child was an unplanned pregnancy with an old bf who was not particularly good father material.

But I had a dear friend who was happily married who was trying to have a baby too. We were both pregnant at the same time early on, and she did loose hers to miscarriage (they never have had kids). I couldn't help but wonder why I got to keep mine, and she lost hers. It made me especially aware of the great gift I had.

Best wishes for both of you!

 

[Ellianna]

I can completely understand why you would feel like that and I know it's easier said than done I don't think you should worry about it until it actually happens.
Because otherwise you're going to make yourself upset! And you don't need that
I'm sure it'll be fine


xx

 

[anita665]

I'm in a terrible situation like that too. My step sister had 4 kids and all were taken by social services last year and adopted. Since she's got close to my family and a month after I anounced I was expecting, she did too. Thing is it's somewhat unlikely that she will be allowed to keep her baby. Obviously everyone hopes she will but it's most likely too soon after her problems with the others. She already won't let me discuss my pregnancy with my family and has become very posessive over my mum. She keeps saying my mum cares more about me than her etc. I feel terrible and just stay out of the way. I'm much more inderpendant and if she needs my mum thats fine. Hopefully she will be allowed to keep her baby and it will settle down.

 

[vickilouise]

I get what you mean a really really close friend of mine and her husband have been trying for ages (2yrs) to no avail, fertility probs on both parts apparently and i feel so guilty for being pregnant with an unplanned pregnancy when my best friend wants it sooooo much. dont get me wrong me and my OH are now getting used to the idea of being parents. I just feel like i wont be able to moan/vent to my best friend whilst pregnant cos i feel guilty that she cant.
I know she wouldnt want me to feel like this but, i cant help it.

 

[Serene123]

Yeah, I thought quite a few people might be in the same boat. She's nearly 11 weeks and everything seems fine so far. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for them anyway. Hope all your sitations work out x

 

[Gabi]

Wow. Since coming here and reading all these stories I've felt really bad.

I was in the opposite situation when I had my m/c. My friend since early childhood fell preggies the same time as me. Another friend of mine also fell preggies exactly the same time. Now she had already lost a baby two days after birth to give a bitty of background.

Well we all went to see our gynaes and I was informed that our baby had died The friends who had already lost a baby were informed that their baby had died. But my close friend who wasn't in a relationship, hadn't planned nothing came back bouncing and beaming cause everything was fine.

I love speaking to her these days about her pregnancy because I'm so excited for her but back then I 'despised' her. I 'despised' every single mom I knew.

Less than a week after my m/c my DH's cousin announced her pregnancy. I think that also tipped me over the edge.

So from the other side. We really don't mean it if we seem to be distant and unenthusiastic or angry. A m/c is a really hard thing to get through. And although deep down inside we're ecstatic unfortunately it hurts too much to show those feelings.

There I've babbled on for quite long enough

Good luck to your friend. Shame I really feel bad after reading your story because my friend has been the same. So petrified that I'll loose this baby. So worried that I don't approve of her pregnancy.