friend commited suicide :(

[ShanandBoc]

Found out yesterday one of my husbands long time friends took his own life We are both so devastated......esp my husband. He has never had anyone close to him pass away before. He was only 25. Such a bright successful guy and no one even knew anything was wrong or why he did it. We had a tiny wedding and he was 1 of 3 close friends my husband invited. My DH used to share an apartment with him. We hadnt seen much of him recently as he was a busy guy, worked full time and studied and u know how busy life gets! Any death is a tragedy and ive lost quite a few loved ones but this just has such sadness to it that ive never felt before and my husband is really grieving. I just dont know what to do. And what makes it even worse is it happened 8 weeks ago and only just found out as hadnt spoken to him for a few months so we missed his funeral. No one told us. I guess they just figured everyone knew Looking back i said to DH that he had deleted his facebook but didnt think anything of it at the time and had chatted to him online not long beforehand and mutual friends they had werent on FB so we never found out that way......Dh found out from a mutual friend at his new job who thought my hubby knew and asked if he went to his funeral.

 

[hellohefalump]

I'm sorry for your loss. I had a good friend die from anorexia, she was 28. I've been to a few funerals and hers was the saddest because she was so young, so nice, and had so much more to give.

 

[ShanandBoc]

sorry for your loss too, so young. I just keep thinking how he must of felt just before he did it and it breaks my heart. He was the last person id expect. Just goes to show u never know. Apparently the last thing anyone heard from him is that he got really high scores in a major assignment thingy as he was studying for a degree in accounting. DH wants to find out how he did it but i told him maybe ur better not knowing but i think it may be some kind of closure for him who knows?

 

[emilyjade]

Hun i am so sorry your both having to go through this

 

[~RedLily~]

I'm sorry hun Such a tragedy

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

sorry to hear this

 

[JASMAK]

Awe, so sorry. How awful! It's such a shock I am sure.

 

[xSophieBx]

How tragic I think suicide is very hard to come to terms with. My mum's dad committed suicide(shot himself) when my mum was pregnant with me, so I didn't know him, but everyone has told me he was the least person they could imagine to ever do something like that... noone had any idea. People call it a cowards way out but the police officer told my mum its one of the bravest things a person can do. So there must of been something very deep going on in your friends head & noone would of been able to have changed that unfortunately. Is there anyway you can get in contact with his parents? Maybe via facebook if he had that then? Just for your husband to get some sort of closure? x

 

[princess_1991]

big hun

its awful to loose a friend, my best friend died last year 2 weeks before her 21st birthday,
it was probably worse that he didnt know, i hope your husband and yourself can get some closure on this

 

[hunniechunks]

I am so sorry that you and your husband are going through this. My husband's brother committed suicide 4 years ago and you really do spend so long blaming yourself, wishing you'd noticed that something was wrong, it makes the grieving process so much harder. Also, you have the added grief from not knowing for so long and missing the funeral.

It may help your husband to get in touch with the family somehow and if he feels like he wants to know the details then it may help him to move on in his grief. Either way, i understand how difficult this must be for both of you and my thoughts are with you at this really horrible time.

xx

 

[HazzaB]

So sorry for your loss.X

 

[ShanandBoc]

Thanks ladies for all ur kind posts.

We have found out he did it at his fave beach on the 11/11/11, so he chose that particular day. Doesnt seem it was a spur of the moment decision. We dont know exactly how although i have a fair idea, not really something we want to ask his family. DH only met his parents once ages ago.

DH only spoke to him 3 days beforehand and he 'seemed' fine I cant help but think was he already planning to do it then? How long had been planning or contemplating it for?. We have decided to go to that beach with some flowers and pay our own private respects as our way of saying 'goodbye'. DH is really struggling as he feels he could have done something but i keep reminding him that all those around him had no idea, it wasnt just him...its no ones fault.

So sorry to all those who have lost loved ones in a similar way, it really is just so awful as u can only begin to imagine the mental anguish they must have been in at the time and thats very hard to move on from (i have known others who have killed themselves) although this time is extra sad for me to, he was just the kind of guy you couldnt help but love. I only wish we all knew why. RIP Isaac

Breaks our heart we missed his funeral and didnt find out for 9 weeks......we feel bad we didnt try contact him during that time now Or if only we had gone and visited him that day, you know....so many 'what ifs'

 

[Miss_Bump]

So sorry hun, i too have lost a close friend to suicide