Friend of Foe?

[Princess Lou]

RANT AHEAD

Over three years ago my hubby and I started TTC and I had a very close friend who knew everything that was going on and was very aware of the appointments I was having - my hubby and I moved out of the doctors catchment area and as I didn't want to change GP's in case they made me do everything again we put down my friends address so she had to open all my letters and let me know when my appointments were.

About a year after we started trying she announces via Facebook that she is pregnant an hour after she got a positive test. She then said to me "Oops, I should have mentioned this to you before you read it". I couldn't take all the pregnancy comments such as "I can't imagine what it would feel like if I couldn't have gotten pregnant" so I removed her as a friend and her fella. I explained to them why I had done it and they seemed to understand.

This so-called friend called the fertility clinic and re-arranged my first appointment, moving it to my Mums birthday (a day I would never have had any appointments as it was the first birthday without my Mum). When we arrived at the clinic on the previous scheduled appointment we were informed that because we missed the appointment we would be referred back to our GP who would have to refer us again, making it another six month waiting time. Anyway we moved from England to Northern Ireland so changed completely but it still took nearly a year to get that first appointment. If we had it in England then it would have been a simple transfer from one clinic to the other, but never mind. I never have been able to find out why she changed the appointment though.

I am also still in regular contact with this girl (although I don't tell her anything personal any more) and we discuss our favourite baby names etc.

I am now coming to the end of six months of treatment and still I have no BFP and I find out 30 minutes ago from a mutual friend that my "good friend" is pregnant again and if she has a little girl she wants to call her Lilly-Rose. A very beautiful name. A name I have been wanting for two years, a name she knew I wanted as every time we speak, I tell her I still want it.

Not having a good day today and needed that rant. Lol.

 

[xMissxZoiex]

Deffintly not a friend! it doesnt sound to me like she wants you to be happy, I would cut all ties with her. She knows in quite detail what you have been through. Yet she has no compassion for you, She is truely a horrible person for that. Although most people dont know how hard it is not having been though it themselves but there is no excuse for changing your appointment? 'stealing' names you wanted to use its terrible. If you have a little girl in the future you should still use that name it means so much more to you

 

[Lisa2701]

I agree honey, there is no way I would class this person as a friend! I would definitely be cutting ties with this person, or at VERY least not discussing babies, ttc, pregnancies etc with her. I'd be keeping her in the dark of EVERYTHING baby related.

AS for the baby names, I personally would take no notice of what she calls her child and you call your child whatever you like when the time comes!

 

[rosebud_01_99]

hi there,

she is what is called a frenemy , i have had a few of those in my time, dropped them v quick, the last one i had was a close relation and friend ttc 10yrs then she got pg, and i found out when i sent her a text one time saying i was pissed off at a rotten comment someone had made to me abt having no kids, she replied "just because you cant get pg dosnt mean other women shouldnt, u are going to have to learn to deal with it!" i found out a week later she was 5months pg.

this xmas she sent me a card with a pic of a baby on it sayin xmas is all about a childs smile, it went straight in the bin, and i have bloced her on facebook and cut all ties,

some women are just sadistic and cruel

rosebud

 

[scoobydrlp]

Sure doesn't sound like much of a friend to me!! I wouldn't waste another minute of my time her if I were you!

 

[Armywife84]

Flat out FOE! She sounds like a competitive little wench who has to always be two steps ahead of you in life. I would most definitely drop contact with her ASAP.

However, I'm confused at how she could rearrange your appointment herself. Isn't that something only you are authorized to do?

Mmm, if it doesn't bother you or remind you of her, I would still use that chosen name..But I'd have a second name picked out, just in case. That's why I never share my chosen names for my hopefully in the very near future children.

 

[mlyn26]

How bloody weird. Sounds to me you may have hurt her feelings by removing her from fb. She however should have explained this to you instead of becoming bitchy and two faced. I would say she is not a very good friend and keep her at arms length from now on. Plus, seeing as you don;t see each other often, when you have your own girlie, go with Lily-Rose, it's YOUR name and she'll have to suck it up xx

 

[honeybee2]

why are you still talking to this woman. Walk away and start a new life hun, you can still have that name when you have your baby xx

 

[Sophe]

wow, I feel upset just reading that, how horrible, its a pity she did get pregnant she will breed more awful people like herself.... i would put that on her facebook status!

Stay well away from that odd person, she can not really be very happy in her own life or why would she act like that, she must be holding some bitterness? I really don't get it, i would have had no more to do with her after she re-arranged the appointment, thats insane!

what a total little B*@tch ...

 

[urchin]

Not a friend at all - get rid! You live in a different country now, so no need to keep things pleasant in case you bump into her ... Just drop her and don't look back. As for the name , if you have a daughter she's not going to grow up in the same circles as this woman's daughter, so use the name you want to.

 

[BH2010]

I agree...FOE! Friends don't so that, even if you did hurt her feelings by deleting her on FB. The fact she even made that comment in the first place shows her true colours. I've had my share of fremenies and the best thing to do for yourself is to cut all ties. Trust me, you'll be much happier in the long run.

 

[cooch]

She's a cow get rid of her!!!

She is obviously putting herself into competition with you, and you don't need that. If your in NI try looking up Napro. That's what we're doing now as it flags up things the NHS won't deal with/ look for.

 

[wifey29]

Honestly, I would cut her out of my life straight away. LTTTC is hard enough with out people like her making it even more stressful. Look after yourself and don't feel bad for putting yourself first.

 

[zanDark]

Toxic!!!

I had a similar "friend" that kept telling me that I pffftt getting pregnant isn't the hard part! you can get pregnant and lose it whenever!!!! it's like super common!! and yeah I know there are risks...but OMG that's all she went on about!

you don't need negative people in your life when you're trying to get pregnant!

 

[Damita]

Def not a friend, get rid of her