Friendly thread -Why did you choose to FF?

[summer rain]

With my son, I was so determined to bf, he latched well and all was good for a few days, until he woke up from his new born slumber and got really hungry! I think around day 4 he was on my breasts constantly, only stopping to scream as he was obviously not getting enough milk. This continued for 24hrs or so, until my husband said "enough is enough" (we were both crying by this point) and went to the 24hr telcos and bought some formula. I'll never forget how contented he was after his first bottle and as happy as I was that he was fulfilled, I felt a complete failure and still tried to bf him. My nipples at this point were sooo sore, and Jake would throw up after each feed, and in his vomit would be my blood. I gave up after about a further week of this.

This time round with Alice, I had exactly the same issues. I thought it might happen so went out and bought a good quality pump, thinking expressing might help. Alas, even when my milk did come in, the most I could ever express was a tiny 1oz. This brought it home to me that I just wasn't producing enough milk to satisfy her and I couldn't go through all that pain again... In the hope that the more she sucked, the more milk I would produce... I just kept thinking back to the awful time I'd had with Jake trying to make it work, so after about a week of combo feeding, I choose to formula feed.

I don't feel as guilty this time round. My son is a happy healthy 4 year old and Alice appears to be doing well also so I am not going to beat myself up about it.

I am not saying this to be rude but just worried ladies may read this and think because they cannot express much themselves; that they are starving their baby; just wanted to point out that how much you can express is not an indicator of supply; some women who have an oversupply and whose babies gain much more than average can express less than a teaspoon no matter what pump they try-I am included in this. Also in the first few days your baby will only need 1oz or so of breastmilk at a feed so being able to express 1oz during this time is completely average and normal, in fact being able to express more than 1-2oz of breastmilk at any point indicates an oversupply xx

 

[Thumper]

That's true- until recently I rejoiced over 1oz!

 

[Carly2310]

I just didn't want to.
Bottle feeding suited me, both my sons were happy and healthy and my DH got to 'help me' with the feeds, although I view it more as a shared responsibility than him 'helping' it's as much his job as mine lol!!
Also DH got the bonding time too which I think is priceless.
Plus even if I'd wanted to after DS1 I don't think I could have as I was really ill (emcs, 4+ pint blood loss) and so was he (born not breathing whisked off to nicu )
FF worked well the first time so I saw no reason to change my method second, or this time. I did what worked for us.
Xx

 

[M&S+Bump]

I'm a breast-feeder but to be honest, if I didn't have it very firmly set in my head that I HAD to BF due to being a complete failure at just about everything else to do with his birth and first weeks, so BF HAD to work as it was the only thing left that hadn't been ruined, I would've chosen formula pretty quickly too. And now he's too damn attached to my boob and obviously loves it so much that I can't bear to give up just yet (just one more day, and I'll think about it tomorrow!)

I never found it convenient at all, until Joe was probably about 4-5 months, and even then it's only really at night time I notice it (and if he'd been FF that probably wouldn't have been an issue cos he'd have been STTN by then!)

To start, he was in the neo-natal in an incubator for days, and by the time he came out, he didn't know how to feed, so we were over a week in hospital to try and get him feeding before they'd let me out. I was expressing every two hours, round the clock, and when I wasn't expressing I was in the nursery trying to get him to latch on with little success, then tube-feeding him, just to go back to my room to express again, rinse and repeat.

Eventually with the aid of nipple shields he managed to latch, so now I had to cart these little silicone things about with me to feed him. Once we managed to get rid of the nipple shields, he developed colic and I got to swap the shield case for a lunchbox of expressed milk, medela cup and colief, which he had to have after every feed.

Mix in the obligatory sore, bleeding nipples (not having a proper latch is a lie - it happens to most people even if everything is perfect and if you're lucky, will start to get better around 6-8 weeks, more like 12 for me though), having to be up feeding every few hours, expressing whenever anyone else took him, worrying about milk supply, leaking and engorgement if I dared go a few hours without feeding/expressing, etc etc and a quick bottle starts to seem pretty easy in comparison. It got a lot easier around 4 months once the colic cleared up and at least I could go places without feeding equipment, but he's also always been a really nosy, wriggly baby so feeding anywhere but in a quiet room with no distractions is a challenge lol. And now he's weaned and has teeth - so I'm back to lugging around feeding equipment and sore nipples again.

And I consider myself to be quite lucky - he never did the constant feeding for hours and hours thing and I've been able to express milk relatively well. I don't think it particularly aided bonding in any way, I've never found it to be this lovely experience I've heard other people talk about, maybe cos it's always just been a bit of a chore - basically just about the only plus sides I've experienced are not paying for formula (although the cost of an electric breast pump would probably pay for quite a few tubs of milk powder!), not having to make a bottle in the middle of the night and the rapid weight loss!

Whereas FF - quick, easy, anyone can do it, you know how much baby is taking, it's available everywhere and if the bottle runs out and your baby is still hungry, you just make another one! No hassle and no worry.

 

[chysantheMUM]

A lot of the reasons for me choosing to FF have already been mentioned but basically I found breastfeeding too difficult and time consuming and it was a huge relief to switch to FF. I started out determined to BF and thought it would be the easy option and that in comparison FF looked like a lot of faffing around. However, we had real issues with latching on and by day 9, I was so sore, I had spent the night sobbing because of the pain and the lack of sleep. She was using my boob as a soother on and off throughout the night but it had become excruiating for me. I developed mastitis and my little girl was losing weight and had become jaundiced, so the midwife was talking about doing tests on her and referring her to a specialist. I was convinced it was just down to her not getting enough food from me, despite being on the breast almost every hour. So I caved and gave her formula. The change in her was dramatic, within days the jaundice cleared, her weight steadily climbed and her mood improved. She went from being up all night and refusing to be put down, to sleeping through the night with just one wake for a feed and settling straight back down. I tried combifeeding at first, but the time spent expressing, on top of the time spent preparing and doing feeds was too much. So we decided to give up completely because I went back to work part time from 4 weeks, so convienience was important to us. So although I do have regrets about not BF'ing, it just didn't work out for me. Perhaps if I didn't have to return to work so soon, it would have been a different story but the pain and sleepless nights made it impossible for me to continue.

 

[Thumper]

Thanks for all your replies ladies I can understand a little better now

 

[OmarsMum]

He couldnt latch on & I didnt have any milk to express. I tried to express at the hospital & at home but I didnt get a single drop out. I tried several times to get him to latch on, when he finally was able at 3 weeks, he went on sucking but without a single drop of milk. I kept trying for a week but I ended up with a screaming hungry baby who's not getting milk. My breasts didnt get full or hard during my pregnancy. There was no milk which is not very common xx

 

[Gbobs]

I BF'd for three weeks and HATED it..... LO latched ok but I just hated the sensation of him suckling, hated the way my boobs felt and having to get them out constantly. Even to the point that I couldn't handle hubby in the room with me. It was stressing me out no end and making me feel awful and I finally knew it was time to switch to FF when I physically had to pull LO off mid-feed as I couldn't stand it.

 

[KittyVentura]

I "chose" to switch because I came down very unwell when Fin was 3 weeks old. I was just about coping with the cluster feeding and shredded nips until then but just could not manage when I had tonsilitis. So I switched. I didn't WANT to, I wasn't READY to and I STILL suffer with mummy guilt about it despite knowing I did try my best xx

 

[special_kala]

I wanted to.breast fees river but it wasn't working out so I chose to formula feed.

I hate it when people say they failed. just because it didnt work out that in no way means we failed. I could have pushed myself and river to breastfeed but I made the decision that was bear for me and my baby at the time.

With willow it was much easier and I love it but I don't think she's getting any better then river did nor is she going to be healthier or smarter.

 

[dani_tinks]

Many reasons. I was so exhausted after giving birth and in a lot of discomfort and pain. I was bed ridden not knowing what was wrong with me and thought i'd never walk again.
So I started formula feeding because it was easier. When I got better and came home I wanted to try BF but I couldn't get Jacob to latch. The HVs were rubbish and I only saw one once. In the end I managed to express but I wasn't great at it so I did a bit of both. FF & EBM for about 6 weeks when I eventually gave up with expressing.

 

[bigbetty]

I chose to FF because breastfeeding was just something that didn't feel natural to me and I've never had the urge to do it. Whenever I thought about getting pregnant and having a baby the idea of BF never entered my head.

When I conceived Fran I did consider the option, but decided that because my heart wouldn't be in it I would just get stressed, which in turn would make my baby stressed. So I went with the option that I felt more comfortable with - and I've never regretted it.

Fran is happy and healthy - what more could I ask for?

 

[patch2006uk]

Thanks for this thread thumper, it's really interesting

It does seem alot of ladies didn't choose to FF during pregnancy, but had a decent bash at BFing before switching. I think it's a shame that those of you who are saying you didn't really want to switch might have been able to continue if the majority of medical professionals were any help whatsoever!

I completely get what M+SandBump is saying - for me, after the c-section and my failure to even go into labour, I HAD to BF. I had to prove my body could do something it was supposed to! But it was never a lovely bonding experience for us, at least not in the early days. Not helped by the fact he wouldn't latch for 8 days so we expressed and cup fed, and I could barely move following the c-section, so I couldn't lift him or carry him. He was plonked on my lap every so often, and then I expressed. I was only getting half an ounce most of the pumping sessions that week, but that's ok, because newborn tummies can only hold 5-15mls over the course of the first week, so I had plenty of milk to give him. I figured that if he would latch, he'd feed for an hour, so pumping 0.5oz in 30-40 mins was probably ok.

Sorry, I've gone off on a tangent. I think because with forumla you have to give several ounces from the word go, it scares people when they only express a fraction of an ounce. It's an education and expectation issue usually, not a breastfeeding one.

My mom switched to formula for me when I was 6 weeks old. She says her nipples were bloody and my latch was like a hoover! I think it spurred me on too that I wanted to 'beat' my mom. Is that mean?

The only people I've known FF from birth are the girls from my school, who *seriously* aren't the brightest (mmm, drugs) and had their youngest at 16/17, have never had a job and live off benefits. I don't think they would ever consider BFing an option. Everyone else I've known has at least tried to do the first couple of feeds so LO gets the colostrum.

 

[sapphire1]

I didn't really choose to FF, was more forced to do it. Holly wouldn't latch despite help from loads of people from midwives to a lactation consultant. I expressed 3 hourly round the clock for 6 weeks, in the hope that she'd learn to latch. She never did, and expressing was too much to cope with, as well as coping with a screaming silent refluxy baby who refused to sleep.

I get confused when people say FF is easier. Obviously it's easier in the short term as BF is bloody hard work in the early days. But what could be easier than fresh, correct temperature milk whenever LO desires it. I still have the hump with Holly for making me wash and sterilise all those poxy bottles Oh, and she also has a cows milk protein intolerance, so FF was fun, fun, fun til that was sorted when she was 5 months old

 

[EllaAndLyla]

Honestly, I didn't feel there was much support. My original plan was to BF for at least a few months. But as the end of the pregnancy neared I just couldn't amagine myself doing it iykwim? I did try, but there was no latch whatsoever and the bond just wasn't there. I already had formula so just used it. I kind of like the fact I FF because I can have the bottles there made up for me to quickly make or heat up and also it means my mum, dad, OH, MIL etc can all feed if they like. I know my mum loves doing it and feels it is a bond between her and LO. I know I could have expressed, even when I tried it just hurt way too much.

I don't know, I could just never picture myself actually breastfeeding. And I have always known about BF but I just always thought that FF was just as normal and common? x

 

[kerrie24]

Thanks for this thread thumper, it's really interesting

It does seem alot of ladies didn't choose to FF during pregnancy, but had a decent bash at BFing before switching. I think it's a shame that those of you who are saying you didn't really want to switch might have been able to continue if the majority of medical professionals were any help whatsoever!

I completely get what M+SandBump is saying - for me, after the c-section and my failure to even go into labour, I HAD to BF. I had to prove my body could do something it was supposed to! But it was never a lovely bonding experience for us, at least not in the early days. Not helped by the fact he wouldn't latch for 8 days so we expressed and cup fed, and I could barely move following the c-section, so I couldn't lift him or carry him. He was plonked on my lap every so often, and then I expressed. I was only getting half an ounce most of the pumping sessions that week, but that's ok, because newborn tummies can only hold 5-15mls over the course of the first week, so I had plenty of milk to give him. I figured that if he would latch, he'd feed for an hour, so pumping 0.5oz in 30-40 mins was probably ok.

Sorry, I've gone off on a tangent. I think because with forumla you have to give several ounces from the word go, it scares people when they only express a fraction of an ounce. It's an education and expectation issue usually, not a breastfeeding one.

My mom switched to formula for me when I was 6 weeks old. She says her nipples were bloody and my latch was like a hoover! I think it spurred me on too that I wanted to 'beat' my mom. Is that mean? The only people I've known FF from birth are the girls from my school, who *seriously* aren't the brightest (mmm, drugs) and had their youngest at 16/17, have never had a job and live off benefits. I don't think they would ever consider BFing an option. Everyone else I've known has at least tried to do the first couple of feeds so LO gets the colostrum.

Not mean at all!When I was pregnant with my dd,my mum told me I wouldnt have the 'patience' to bf(she hadnt tried!) so that made me all the more determined to prove her wrong,and I bf Aimee for 23 months

 

[prgirl_cesca]

We had latching issues and found it incredibly difficult and the support from midwives wasn't good. I couldn't see myself doing it long term after about a week of issues, particularly with how large my breasts are so I could have never done it in public. I found myself dreading feeds, not wanting to leave the house etc etc so I chose to FF instead.

Selfish and mainly for convenience? yes. But is my child loved and growing? Yes!

ETA: Oh, and afterwards I had an awful time of it with plugged ducts from expressing turning into full on abscesses. I have had one operation and countless aspirations by needles on my boobs. I will definitely choose FF from the off next time and if anyone had been what I have been through with my breasts then they would choose the same.

 

[M&S+Bump]

I wanted to.breast fees river but it wasn't working out so I chose to formula feed.

I hate it when people say they failed. just because it didnt work out that in no way means we failed. I could have pushed myself and river to breastfeed but I made the decision that was bear for me and my baby at the time.

With willow it was much easier and I love it but I don't think she's getting any better then river did nor is she going to be healthier or smarter.

If this is about my post, I totally agree. I don't believe anyone who chooses to FF for whatever reason has failed in any way or is doing anything other than feeding their baby the way they want to. However, the irrational part of my brain is dead-set on believing that I had to have a c-section, therefore I'm a failure cos I couldn't give birth. I didn't bond with my baby for weeks and weeks, therefore I am a failure and a bad mother. I give him away so I can work and have no desire to spend every minute with him, therefore I am a failure. In short - I'm a failure regardless of what I do. I really wanted to BF and if that also hadn't worked out, it would have just been another 'failure' to add to the list so I pretty much made myself physically ill to do it, so as to try and stop myself feeling worse psychologically. It's the PND talking and only applies to the way I feel about myself, not about anyone else, which I realise makes no sense, but there you go!

 

[tina3747]

Because after bf for 6 weeks I honestly was on the verge of cracking up.
It's not a nice feeling not wanting to hold your baby or fear it waking as it would turn into another battle.
I 100% put everything into it and it pisses me off so much on these threads when people think you didn't try hard enough blah blah.
I formula fed for my sanity and anyone who says I'm not doing the best or giving the best for my baby can kiss my fat post natal arse.:!!!

 

[M&S+Bump]

I didn't really choose to FF, was more forced to do it. Holly wouldn't latch despite help from loads of people from midwives to a lactation consultant. I expressed 3 hourly round the clock for 6 weeks, in the hope that she'd learn to latch. She never did, and expressing was too much to cope with, as well as coping with a screaming silent refluxy baby who refused to sleep.

I get confused when people say FF is easier. Obviously it's easier in the short term as BF is bloody hard work in the early days. But what could be easier than fresh, correct temperature milk whenever LO desires it. I still have the hump with Holly for making me wash and sterilise all those poxy bottles Oh, and she also has a cows milk protein intolerance, so FF was fun, fun, fun til that was sorted when she was 5 months old

I still have to wash and sterilise bottles too - as well as all the bits for the breast pump!!