Frustrated DH...anyone else?

[Bubbles1088]

So fellow moms, I have a question. Does your husband/significant other get frustrated at night with the baby? DH and I take turns when he's home at night feeding Ashlyn, and DH gets so frustrated when she won't go right back to sleep. He hates being woken up and Ashlyn can sense his frustration, which agitates her. I have next to no problem getting her to go back down, but he struggles and eventually gives up and I have to get up and lull her to sleep, which I can normally do with little to no issue.

Is there anyone else with a problem like this? DH loves her, but he just gets so damn frustrated, and it's starting to frustrate me too. :/

 

[zebbed89]

My husband was like this with our first so he used to do the 11 o'clock feed and I would go to bed early and do the rest of the feeds but that was only for a couple of months then I gave up asking and did them myself. This time round I'm ebf so he's no help anyway although it's funny as he would sleep through my daughters screaming and sleep all night but my son doesn't cry he just grunts and it wakes hubby up every time! Xx

 

[BabyCleo]

On occasion DH does this. I find my DH likes to over exaggerate everything, he claims he was up "all night" when he was awake for 2 hours. it drove me nuts to the point that I called him out on it. lol.

 

[Bubbles1088]

So glad to hear I'm not the only one! Zebbed he sleeps through her cries too. I have to wake him up myself to get him up! I'm considering just giving up already, though the help is really nice (when he's not frustrated). I'm awake anyway throughout the whole thing since she keeps crying.

BabyCleo mine talks about how exhausted he is, and I'm sure he is and all, but if I can do it, so can he. That's my thought on it. Granted he is working too but on the days he doesn't work he is still going on about how tired he is, and he sleeps so much more (and more deeply) than me. I'm up every day by 9, and he sleeps past noon.

 

[BabyCleo]

Yeah, my LO (7 weeks) sleeps from 1030pm-5am, and DH still claims he was "up all night" (as in up at 5am lol)

Even with a full 8 hours sleep he still is like "well, that was good but I need a few nights of those"

... they are children, honestly.

 

[MindUtopia]

I think my husband and I both get frustrated when nights are particularly rough (our daughter is 2.5 now). But you're right that getting stressed and worked up yourself only makes things worse. It might just take practice and building confidence for him to work out how to do it, and a few gentle reminders from you to stay calm. Letting him work it out himself and not stepping in might be the way to do it. That way he just has to figure out what works and not fall back on you when he gets frustrated. We all have to do it, even though it's hard (and it may still be hard for years to come, so important for him to build his confidence with it now).

 

[zebbed89]

So glad to hear I'm not the only one! Zebbed he sleeps through her cries too. I have to wake him up myself to get him up! I'm considering just giving up already, though the help is really nice (when he's not frustrated). I'm awake anyway throughout the whole thing since she keeps crying.

BabyCleo mine talks about how exhausted he is, and I'm sure he is and all, but if I can do it, so can he. That's my thought on it. Granted he is working too but on the days he doesn't work he is still going on about how tired he is, and he sleeps so much more (and more deeply) than me. I'm up every day by 9, and he sleeps past noon.

That's part of the reason I gave up because I was awake listening to him get frustrates plus he's a farmer so after 2 months he was out until after midnight and started at 8 in the morning so it was only fair. Only one night I litrally slept through her crying and he ended up getting up and doing her because he couldn't wake me I think I was that exhausted! Xx

 

[ElizabethK_]

You're lucky he even does the feed or even tries to put her back to sleep!

My DH says he can never get her to sleep so night feeds (and all feeds for that matter) are mine.

Men give up easily. They don't understand babies and why they act they way they do. The expect them to be predictable and if something doesn't go their way then they complain and get agitated.

Or maybe it's just how I feel.

 

[Bubbles1088]

You're lucky he even does the feed or even tries to put her back to sleep!

My DH says he can never get her to sleep so night feeds (and all feeds for that matter) are mine.

Men give up easily. They don't understand babies and why they act they way they do. The expect them to be predictable and if something doesn't go their way then they complain and get agitated.

Or maybe it's just how I feel.

I agree with you. They don't seem to understand, so when they act in contradiction to how they think they should, they get frustrated. I talked to my mom about this today actually.

Don't worry, you aren't alone in feeling this way about men. Seems to be true of many of them (probably not all of them though).

 

[timeforababy]

Hahahahaha

dh has never out him to sleep at bedtime or ever even helped when he is awake at night. I do it all

 

[calm]

Yes he does, he hasn't done it for ages now. I've kind of accepted he can help me in many other ways. But yes, nights are very tough, I get frustrated too

 

[Disneyfan88]

My DH doesn't get out of bed at night. He can't even hear the monitor when DD is crying. She gets more worked up if he goes to her instead of me. If she's fussy, I will eventually have to get up anyway before she will calm down, so I just do it all myself and let DH sleep.

 

[SarahBear]

My husband doesn't deal with the baby at night. I nurse, so he can't really "take a turn" with feeding unless I pump, which just makes for more work all around.