Frustrated, stressed, week old baby

[Lirpa11]

Hi, I have a 7 day old baby. It is Friday and he was born last friday.

I am getting so stressed with this all and hoping we are doing ok. First off, doctors and nurses all said he needed to eat every 2 hours. He never took to that. He generally preferred every 2.5-3.5 hours. Then, yesterday morning he would go 4 hours between feeds. By four hours he was hungry and ate fine.

Well, this morning he took 5 hours between feeds, then ate, and ate again an hour later, and then half an hour later, then he waited 4.5 hours and ate.

Now we are at our next feed time and it has been 2 hours 15 minutes since.

I am stressed because this is longer than what the doctors recommended. I am worried it is dangerous and unhealthy and worried we may be going to the ER later to see if he is ok. He seems fine, just we fight with me trying to make him feed. I can wake him for a 3 hour break at night and we can fight for an hour to two hours trying to get him to feed. I am exhausted, he is exhausted. I try to wake him by changing him, skin to skin, wash cloth on his face, nothing works until he wants to wake.

I am stressed that I am putting him at danger by letting him determine our schedule, and i am stressed my milk will dry up. This is all so hard! I don't want to go to FF if I can avoid it as I will feel so guilty.

Up until yesterday morning we seemed to be going so well. He had regained his birth weight + 2oz yesterday at the doctor.

The doctors also say he should feed 10-15 minutes or more on each breast. I am lucky if he feeds 10-15 on one and then 5 on the other, or sometimes even 5-10 on one and even any on the other. You can hear him drinking and sucking.

Any advice, your own stories? Help please?

 

[LilFooshFoosh]

Neither of my kids did the doctor recommended schedule. All babies are different.

Your LO is gaining weight which means you are doing great! Frequent (cluster) feedings will help increase your supply. Taking cues from baby and trusting your gut is pretty much the best any of us can do.

I never let DD sleep more than 5 hours between feeds when she was really new (she was a little premature & slightly jaundiced) but I talked to my doc at the 1 month appointment and since DD was doing so well I was comfortable letting her sleep as long as she wanted after that.

You sound like you have it under control and just need a little more confidence. If you are really nervous about your supply maybe pumping between feeds would put your mind at ease. You don't need to if you can hear baby eating he will increase your supply as much as he needs.

You are doing fantastic!

 

[zorak]

As soon as baby is back to birth weight I ignore the two hour recommendation. I don't go more than 3.5 hours when they are teeny and just monitor wet and poopy diapers.

 

[coz]

I think all babies are different, mine still feeds every 2 hours at 3 months old . I think its ok to feed when they want it but for me for the first maybe few weeks i wouldnt leave it over 4 hours as in hospital they told me not to leave it longer than 4 hours (not sure how many weeks till) x IUf babies gaining weight i dont see theres anything to worry about but like i say i wouldnt leave it longer than 4 hours when they are small x

 

[wishingonastar]

Your baby sounds fine. Mine never stuck to a schedule and to be frank schedules go completely against the grain of breastfeeding which is ad hoc and subject to a number of factors such as
- how hot the weather is (your body automatically adjusts temp and amount of water in milk in response to how hot surroundings are)
- your diet (if LO not getting as healthy a diet as your eating was poor then they would tend to eat more frequently than someone with a good diet)
- your natural milk make up (some ppl produce more sugar and other stuff in their milk than others which will affect how full baby is for longer)

Best thing you can do is Google hunger cues in a newborn and watch out for them with your LO. For example tickling their upper lip gently will trigger them to automatically open their mouth to latch if they're hungry but if they're full they won't do this. Bobbing when you're cuddling them and turning their head whilst acting like a goldfish are typical hunger cues but they also have more subtle ones. I found this out after a horrendous few initial weeks with my firstborn and by looking for cues it gave me confidence and changed everything for the better. A lactation consultant explained that if a baby cries for food then that's their last resort and you've missed a number of other silent requests and it is true.

So long as your LO does not have a severely depressed fontanelle (sign of dehydration) is alert when awake and producing around 10 to 12 dirty nappies a day and gaining weight nicely then you are right in track

 

[wishingonastar]

Oh and Google growth spurts in a newborn too so you're prepared and confident when LO does increase feeding for a short time which is perfectly normal along with cluster feeding

 

[Lirpa11]

So I spoke to a lactation consultant. She advised of baby is going 5 hours that I need to pump. I pumped 15 minutes this morning with both sides and got 6oz.

We then fed DS around 2.5oz with a spoon. Some was lost as it is hard feeding a baby with a spoon. And then DS fed on one side an hour later.

I also just called up and spoke to a nurse. She just Said if he goes 6 hours without eating to head to emergency room or if he gets a fever.

Just wondering, any advice on pumping and feeding from the breast? This is all so hard. No wonder most moms give up, this is hard and draining on both me and DS. I'm stressed he isn't getting enough, I'm dog tired as I'm the only one feeding and stressed over his feeding. I really want to breastfeed but I feel like my milk is decreasing and DS being so fussy makes me think it really is. I want to pump to make extra but I don't want to over pump so DS has to fight more to get milk.

I don't know

 

[broodymrs]

As long as you're having plenty of wet and dirty nappies and his weight is ok, don't worry. It took me months to trust my instincts and follow baby's cues rather than listening to hv's and drs who didn't know my baby. You're doing great hun.

 

[LilFooshFoosh]

TL;DR: Drink plenty of water, pump in the morning & after he is finished feeding and set an alarm for 5 hours overnight.

Keeping hydrated will help keep up your supply, leave bottled water around the house where you are likely to feed.

The morning is when the most milk is produced. By pumping once he is done you eliminate your fear of making it more difficult for him. You already produce more than your baby needs if he isn't draining both breasts at each feed. The more demand (by baby or pump) the more you will produce.

For night time, set an alarm for 5 hours and if he hasn't woken for a feed by then wake him. We had my DH set the alarm on his phone and then he would get up, change DD's diaper, wake her a bit and bring her to me in bed to feed her to maximize my sleep. DH falls asleep quickly and sleeps like a log, I'm the opposite so he didn't lose as much sleep as I would have.

Try to relax, you really are doing fine. As much as you want to BF, don't feel that it is the be-all-end-all of what makes a good mommy. You are putting a lot of pressure and stress on yourself, you really need to take a step back and enjoy your baby.

I'm totally confident that you can BF your little one, it sounds like everything is right on track and it is your nerves getting the best of you. But you also have every right to FF and no one can say or think any less of you. BF is fantastic. FF is fantastic.

 

[hanni]

Sounds like they're making you panick and become more stressed than you need to!

Your baby will eat when he's hungry, unless he's sick, was born prematurely or has drastically lost weight then just let him feed on demand and there's no need to wake him. Regaining his birth weight in a week and then some is absolutely fab!

Relax, stop stressing and trust your instincts. As long as he is gaining weight nicely and having plenty of wet nappies then you're both doing brilliantly.

 

[spicyorange]

In hospital I was told 2-3 hours and like you I was totally stressed out because she wouldn't take it that much. The midwife when she visited said 4 is normal just don't go beyond 5hrs. If it's cracking on for 5 I give her some expressed milk via syringe. She's settling in to it now and I hadn't I given a syringe in a couple of days. Expressing will a also increase my supply. Keep at it and your work out a rhythm with time, if she is gaining weight she is feeding fine

 

[broodymrs]

I stressed way too much about my supply. Your body is amazing and will regulate your supply to what your baby needs. Simalarly if baby isn't getting enough they'll want to feed more often which will then increase your supply. Imo don't bother with pumping, it's time you could be spending with baby, I found it really time consuming and a right faff sterilising everything. Your body and baby will work together and get the right balance

 

[Lirpa11]

Thanks everyone. We ended up at the hospital last night as he went 6 hours and didn't want to eat. When at the hospital for 45 minutes, he had the biggest feed! They checked him over and sent us home saying to watch his diaper output and his temperature. He seemed healthy, hydrated and finally ate fine.

Since then he has ate beautifully. Latched perfect, 2 x 4 hour stretches at night and the rest 2-3 hours during the day. I did pump today but my output was pitiful. Our little man sea to be doing fine on the boob though and seems content post feeding. He has had 4 dirty diapers an lots of pees (including a pee on me!). I'm
Trying to go with the flow here and hope for the best.

We have a doctor appointment tomorrow morning so will see how that goes! Thank you for your support I'm speaking to a local lactation consultant too so if I have trouble hopefully she can be of assistance too!

 

[noon_child]

Once a baby has reached birthweight it is perfectly fine to allow them to determine the schedule as all breasts and babies are different.

Obviously if baby isn't feeding because they seem in pain or ill then it's a slightly different situation.

If he's pooing, weeing and growing then he's fine!