Funny Things we do when TTC &TWW... Come join and share with us :)

[Bushmumma]

I was thinking about how sexy (not) we are when we are Ovulating, please feel welcome to share your most funniest and strange things you do that would make your DH, OH, DF or DP shake their heads!!

Well for starters, we talk about cervical mucus over coffee like it's nothing lol what a great conversation piece for the dinner party with the new in laws!?? Hehehe

So that's what I'm saying, share your moments with us, we all need cheering up at some point through the TTC process xo

Cheers
Lynda xo

 

[Soanxious]

I feel like a fertility expert since TTC.. even my OH did not know that there was a specific small window where this could only be done... I did not tell him for the 1st few months but slowly (like most men) they eventually pick up on what we are doing..

Wake up in the morning.. before my eyes are even open.. I feel around under my pillow for my basal thermometer.. press the button and off I go.. a few mins later the 4 bleeps... the bedroom light goes on..and OH moans.. awwwwwwwww... as he rolls over.. then I jot it down on a bit of paper and toddle off to the loo..now you don't waste wee when your TTC..that is saved in a special beaker and is dipped with what calculates to be a very expensive habit called the OPK from our POAS habit cabinet... and whilst that is doing its wonders...this is where I inspect the CM.. now normally the average woman in a coffee shop would not discuss this..and neither would I before Oct last yr..for I knew nothing about it.. yes me a mother of 3 knew nothing about cm...but since ttc and getting my degree from google & B&B and other forums it's now just and everyday word like sunshine between myself and OH.. it is accidentally said at the wrong times like in the middle of the aisle in asda when looking at panty liners as others will no doubt say on this page its happened many times.. so there I am inspecting my cm.. is it dry?sticky?(you see diagrams online for this..mine does not look like that! am I human?)creamy?wet?EW? well after the inspection which is 2nd nature like just wiping yourself after a wee that is jotted down too..along with opk results.

I then I tip toe past teenage sons room back into my bed where OH is thinking... oh was the temperature right? did she check her bits for a tell tale sign? did she pee on a stick again will she jump on me? or will she go back to sleep.. he has told me about his thoughts so that's how I can mention them.. well today for instance..my temps are up my opk has 2 perfect lines and I have EWCM.. yee haa!! im jumping on you today Honey.. Oh great.. I got to get up for work in 20 mins.. oh it wont take that long is my reply.. after all..this is the "perfect time".. so you have to tell the OH anything to get that and those are the words he needs at that moment in time.. a quickie!

So trying to feel as spontaneous as you can after taking your temp..weeing on a stick..checking cm..and creeping back into bed... even though you know that this is all timed perfectly..he knows that you have timed this perfectly too so you get to BD... ... he begins to enjoy this when all of a sudden.. the fertility degree that I got off google went up a level in his eyes as out comes some new lubricant in a tube...and im squirting a bit on his bits..WOAH!!! what's that?????? Oh relax.. its to make things nice and smooth... oooo.... is his reply... its to help the its conceive plus.. I tell him.. loads of couples use it and say its awesome!! well so glad they invented that one!...

After the deed is done.. I've got my own way..he's minus a few million out comes the mooncup.. in goes some concieve plus and pillow under bum..mooncup in.. and there I go playing bubble pop on my mobile for 20 mins whilst he gets ready for work.... in that 20 mins since opening my eyes.. I have worked out the time is perfect, my cm is perfect.. my egg is about to pop.. and helped it along the way with some slippery stuff. This I know is not romantic.. but heck I do that romantic bit too... but who wants to know about my perfectly timed bedroom scene from "Top gun" where I am imagining tom cruise and my silky skinny body ..and the voiles blowing on the window and the music in the background?? we see that on tv all the time.. that's what it's like in real life.. isn't it? or is it the way I described above?

I never had to plan to get pregnant before.. it "just happened".. but as Im older now and time is running out I had to become more planned.. and timed.. I still enjoy the lovely side to BD.. but as us girlies know..if there is a chance we take it.. if the timing is perfect we try n take it.. and as our OH's will say.. best I do as I am told for I won't be having any oo la la when she is not fertile LOL...

The dignity goes when we goto docs for prodding and inspections and tests etc.. and timing is everything.. we have to giggle about it.. because if we don't we cry.. and that's something none of us girlies want for our online buddies... just wanted to share one of my ttc moments with you to let you know..your not alone... not everyone out there has the constant romantic perfectly timed conception... that some of us are a bit regimental.. but still manage to giggle about it and make it fun..

Good luck ladies ttc...

ps No doubt I will just mention one or two funny LITTLE moments as the page grows... just wanted to add something... sorry if its a bit long LOL..

 

[brighteyez73]

Soanxious - I love it!!!

I do the same routine as you Soanxious. When the timing is perfect I usually send him explicted pictures and tell him to come straight home or pop-up on a lunch break and do the do! I also lie there in my back with a pillow under my bottom for twenty minutes. The first time we TTC after we BD he asked me now what, what do you need me to do? I laughed and said I don't know.....pray. Now every morning at 6:15am he asks in his sleep what is the temp? I respond.

I go to the bathroom and POAS OPKs and come back into the bedroom and he will ask one or two. I respond. If the answer is "one" than he will say ok I'm going to work unless you wanna..... If the answer is "yes" than he jumps up get the Preseed and goes to work. Than off to work he goes. Now if I test when I am home afterwork and he is still at work I send him pictures of Postive OPKs or almost Positive OPKs and I usually check my CM with second OPKs in the evening so I send pics of that too! And he usually send me a smiling face with the tongue out. LOL said that he knows those things mean it's time to get it on. So he rushes home for a quickie and leaves me propped up on the pillow and back to work he goes until 11pm or midnight. Than we go again for good measure.

He laughs when I call his phone and say,"hey we need some more Preseed" than he says really they are going to think I am selling this on the streets I come in here so much with that blue and white box in my hand. And he just loves when I send him to the store for my TTC vitamins cocktail. He has the list posted in his phone. LOL After all of the necessary perfect timing arrangements are made and it's finally O day we BD and the day after and she says, "Ok no more running around for TTC items until next month right?" I say, "yes" than he responds with, "so we are in the TWW?" I lol and say, "wow you are learning the lingo too!" He says, "I have to in order to know what what the hell you be talking about."

I know this is long but had to share our convos because they be silly. I wonder what he will think once I ask him to go get us a box of softcups this month?

 

[cutieq]

A good TTC for me would be inserting Preseed. When DH gets in the mood, I have to saunter off the the guest bedroom where I keep my tests and things, fill up a tube, insert it into my goodie hole and then attempt to come back in the bedroom feeling normal and sexy. Totally kills any once of spontaneity lol

 

[ERosePW]

I might be the only crazy person who does this, but when I'm getting close to O, I'm lining my OPK sticks up side by side in the bathroom cabinet to see the progression, and then even AFTER I O, I use a couple more and line those up too, just to see that it went negative again. DH has looked in my cabinet before to get a bar of soap or something, and there those sticks are lined up like I'm a crazy person. Sometimes I'm even using two different kinds of OPKs, so that's double the sticks. And the trash in our bathroom trashcan is probably the most colorful in the neighborhood! Between a couple different types of OPKs, and then when it comes time to start using HPTs, our trash is just full of purple, pink, blue, whatever! Every time DH goes to the bathroom, he is probably in there looking at the trash and just shaking his head.

 

[Soanxious]

Brighteyze that's so funny.. but this is what it's like in real life.. and yeah the men have to pick up on the lingo too hahaha! I love what you just wrote so funny!!

OMG Cutie.. are you a mess before the BD with all that preseed? no wonder you attempt to feel sexy walking back in.. you must be slippery hun.. see what us ttc women have to go through!!! I love it!!

Erose do you have some OCD hun? lol... I do what you do but with photo's I save that cycle into a folder on my laptop and name them by date and test1 test2 etc and the same with my HPTLOL... may even save one as my wallpaper on laptop one day. Bet the bin is the most colourful

I love these stories.. makes you think ..your not the only one thinking something odd is normal or someone normal is off lol... we all do it our own way and often very similar to others x

 

[Bushmumma]

That's fantastic!!!!
I don't have much as I'm new to the ttc life, I didn't know anything about cm, bbt, charting, opks NOTHING!
This is what I've learnt...
Can't wait to wake up and check my cm, oh and I take my phone with me to the loo so I can put the data straight into my app.. It asks did I have sex today? Well not yet I'm waiting to give you data so you can tell me I'm ready to! Once data is saved I sneak back to bed and do all the sexy stuff for DH to get the idea . It doesn't take long and it's on!! Once the bd is over he says ' you planned that didn't you baby?'
Ahhh.... Smiling at him and YES!! How did you know?
Turns out he thinks he knows everything! Lol

What he is good at is symptom spotting, yep great!! The first time he had it right and I swear I was only about 1/3 the way through my cycle! Maybe I give it away when he gropes the boobs and I tell him they are sore lol or ask for a back rub..... Oh I know it's when I eat the kitchen outta good in one day.... I'm sure that's the give away sign

All ladies please feel free to express anything you want on here, it'll be a great place to laugh with a great bunch of ladies that are all in the same boat, that boat is called the Titanic!!!!!

 

[Soanxious]

LOL@ eating the kitchen so it's empty... yeah we spend the time putting down the data and letting it tell us when.. and this smep well what if the collides with the timing on an app? the decisions we have to make.. and sometimes its made in a forum LOL

I wonder how many babies have been made just from 1 persons helpful tip to another... bet there are a lot out there...

And the men are not as thick as they make out to be are they... saying that... why can't they still use a washing machine??

Men they can build homes repair cars... apparently read a woman.. but they can't use washing machines.. speaking of which forgot 2nd load waiting to go on line.. bbl.

 

[Bushmumma]

Sooo great ladies I'm tired but pml ATM.. The aim was to make anyone who reads this to smile.... Job well done so far I think..

Cutie- you are a pressed ball of fun aren't ya!!?

Rose- so many sticks, so many colours... OCD? Who cares

Soanxious- you are a just a machine!!

Bright- I love that your DH Knows some of the lingo, my DH is slowly learning as I talk to him he questions so much but is learning... Taking a while for someone that thinks he knows everything!! Lol

 

[Bushmumma]

Oh so so so true! But really my kitchen is looking like by tomorrow it will be bare! Hehe... Wipes face.. Wasn't me .

 

[Soanxious]

im just a love machine.... Or a sex addict as OH calls me hahaha! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9IyqekXd8H8

 

[Soanxious]

@ BM

 

[Bushmumma]

Enjoy ladies I'll read up on them all in the morning spread the word 'the truth is out' lol night night darlings

 

[Blondish_keg]

So the other day I asked the OH to spray some of the lube and it rebounded, from between my legs, not just on to his face but his eye!

We couldnt get going for agess as we couldnt stop laughing for so long..

now thats not a costa coffee convo is it!

 

[Soanxious]

I bet it took ages to concentrate on the "task" you were originally trying to do hahaha

Does it hurt if it goes in the eye?

 

[Tui]

Did anyone else look at their partner during sex and just burst out laughing together? Think it was the strain of having to do it AGAIN.

 

[Soanxious]

I looked at my OH this time as we were REALLY 150% the most we ever have put into this concentrating on "operation 2015 Baby" and whilst we were dtd I said..what if it THIS moment that will change our lives forever and make a life.. it was a weird feeling and we got goosebumps.. and then we laughed and then OH said.. we must be mad!! dirty nappies.. sleepless nights.. sick.. teething.. and that's just for you to sort out!

Pardon? I said.. I don't think so..

Oh I just remembered something!!!!

After I ov we dtd and fell asleep.. that night I had a terrible dream... and when I woke up he had already gone to work so I wasn't able to tell him till he got home from work.. my dream was.. he left me the following morning and moved in with a mate and when I went to see him he said it's all too much and I don't want it anymore.. and I burst into tears.. I said but we were ttc last night.. now you change mind? I said well here is a morning after pill, put that in my mouth if your serious.. and he went to.. so I move away from the pill and told him if I was pregnant it was mine.. I burst into tears.. then I woke up.. well I was upset all the following day till he came home.. he was so sad for me.. then afterwards we laughed about it.. but its mad how our brains work...

It is odd actively ttc knowing that you have ov or about to and this could be the time that does it.. it does make you feel silly in one way or another.. well it did for us

 

[Bushmumma]

Blondish- at the rebound! I could imagine the time it took to get your mind back on the 'job'..

Soanxious- that was a really shitty dream, your right though out brains are a little messed up while in this baby making state!

That was pretty nice of him to say you got the nappies and sick. Don't Spose you thought to say that you'll teach him or give him 1on 1 lessons on how to operate a washing machine!!!

I'm loving this so far! Pretty funny things go on, I'm glad you are willing to share your funny haha moments, read others and best of all LAUGH!

 

[Soanxious]

It's ok already told him he has the spare room.. as his snoring is bad enough for me I have to wear wax earplugs...

 

[Tui]

It's ok already told him he has the spare room.. as his snoring is bad enough for me I have to wear wax earplugs...

Try getting him to put Vicks Vapour Rub on before bed. After years of DH snoring I have found a cure ! I now sleep perfectly.