Future family - what would you do next time?

[GracieGoo]

Eeeep... I am very excited! So I had to share.

Tonight hubby and I have had a very serious conversation about our families future. I have felt unsure about what I want to do in the future, but still have this idea that I wanted another baby, but... hubby was unsure - very unsure!

Anyhow... he has said that the idea has grown on him, and he can see us one day as a family of 5!!!!! So hopefully one day, if we are blessed we will have another baby. It took a long time for us to conceive our ds so I know it may not be as simple as that, but here is hoping!! But we are now planning ttc when dd is about 3 years old.

So, changes if we have another baby, and what we have agreed to.

*We will not find out the sex or have a 3d scan (which we did with both of our children).
*There will only be the 2 of us at the birth (my mum has been with us both times, and was amazing support and I love her dearly but just couples time - I want to be able to properly introduce our baby to her)
*I would like a water birth, and if I was allowed I would love a home water birth ( had a 3rd degree tear so not sure if I actually would be allowed anyhow?!)
*I will make a proper attempt at breastfeeding (first baby I had my own reasons why I didn't want to that was discussed with medical professionals), with dd I felt completely cut off from any emotions and scared of losing time with my ds who was still a baby himself, I also felt if I hadn't given 'the best' to my son I couldn't to my daughter - I suppose a bit of guilt! I think it was the wrong attitude to have, but we are over that now.
*I will babywear full time - so would buy a stretchy and my first woven wrap
*There would be a million things I wouldn't buy that are just aimed at very excited parents, but do not serve a great purpose.

And thats it really. I feel I have done the best by my babies and tried to read them rather than just rely on books (although they are helpful too sometimes), so I am happy with the choices I have made for my lovely children so far.. but who knows

 

[Kitteh_Kat]

Congrats!! Hopefully you are blessed quickly when you get ready for your next family member!

-I would also invest in baby-wearing wraps for those first couple of weeks.
-I would wait until hubby would be home to help out (although the military could squash that hope just like they did this time!).
-I definitely wouldn't buy as many clothes as I did with Evelyn... I swear I've packed away outfits she never even wore.
-No having family members stay with us in our home for that first week. I appreciate the help our mothers and sisters gave, but all I wanted was some privacy after the birth!
-When the OB says "slow down with the pushing", I will slow down with the pushing. Those third degree tears are a pain in the rear, aren't they?

 

[goddess25]

All sounds like a great plan. We just had our 3rd child took a lot of persuading hubby that it was a good idea aswell.

I just had a homebirth and had a 3rd degree tear with previous birth so that should not be a deterrent at all.

GL

 

[Snow Owl]

Things I will do different:

We will find out the sex. OH didn't want to so we agreed not to the first time, but we will the second time.

I won't attempt breastfeeding. Honestly it ruined the first 4 weeks of LOs life as it just didn't work. Next time I won't even try!

But I think that's it.

 

[catty]

Well im pregnant now and im fairly sure that this will be our last child

My baby had problems at birth due to me having morphine in the later stages of labour so this time im planning on a drug free birth ( I amin no way excited about this I just know if this baby didnt breath it would be my fault as it happened last time)

I ament finding out the sex of baby

I ament wasting my money on 3 private scans ( although they were nice) but not neccesary.

Im going to try to breastfeed longer, I breastfed for 3 weeks and pumped until 6 weeks with this baby but id like to try and do at least 3 months with this baby.

Not going to spend hundreds of pounds on clothes that get worn once

Take any help given, I wanted to do everything myself before

Maybe not have so many visitors this time I had sooo many for weeks and weeks it got a bit suffocating

 

[MindUtopia]

We'll have one more baby (for a total of two). I've been pretty happy with the way things have gone this time, so there isn't a whole lot I'd do differently. Just a few things:

- We probably would find out the sex. We didn't want to this time, but as it will be our last, I'd like to have the experience of knowing once as well.
- I'd hire an independent midwife so I know I'd have someone I trusted attending my birth. I had a completely natural home birth this time (will do again) and I got lucky that I had a fabulous midwife who I had seen before. I doubt I'll get that lucky again. I'd like to have a natural 3rd stage next time too. Placenta took 1.5 hours to come. I'd like that to be easier next time.
- I'd like to breastfeed for longer this time (only did for 10 weeks). My daughter had horrible latch problems and lost lots of weight in the first few weeks and I had mastitis for a month. Next time I'm not taking bad advice from every idiot midwife and health visitor who isn't even supportive of BF (I had one midwife pretty much throw a bottle of formula at me and tell me 'it was good enough for her kids, so it would be good enough for mine'. Yes, really). I'm finding a good BF counselor before I even give birth.
- We co-sleep, babywear, BLW, etc. and I'd do all that the same next time. I'll probably just be more confident that it's the right thing instead of listening to everyone else complain about how I raise my child.
- I'd like to have a better maternity package next time too, so we aren't so broke!

 

[Girly922]

I'm pretty happy with how my pregnancy and labour went so there's not much we'd do differently.

- I'd like to maybe have a home waterbirth. If not, it'll be the waterbirth in MLBU again. Amazing experience!
- I would wait longer before starting my maternity leave. Started it at 37weeks and DD wasn't born until 41+1.
- We will stay team yellow again. But this time, I'd like OH to announce the sex. I told him last time.

I think that's about it really.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I had a big age gap with j so lots of differences I decided to do. Main one being waterbirth and blw