glbell920
Active Member
- Joined
- Sep 29, 2011
- Messages
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I haven't been here in a while. I have progressively gotten better but their is always a missing piece of me. It's been only 6 months since I lost Gavin but in some ways it seems like a lifetime ago....that I will NEVER forget as long as I live. I definitely still have moments where I have to gather myself emotionally. Today is one of those days.
When I was pregnant I was anxious to see my baby and March 9th seemed like it would never get here. After I lost him I didn't want it to come because I didn't think I could handle him not being here. Well it's here. I was actually surprised to be excited. My daughter remembered too. We planned to get a cake, light a candle and release a balloon to celebrate his life and all that he means to us. It's kind of sad for me that I don't feel comfortable sharing this day with my husband and other family & friends. They just don't understand and I don't want his day to be ruined by anyone who just doesn't get it.
I'm taking my daughter on a surprise photoshoot and I will incorporate Gavin's teddy bear and some of his other memorabilia. That way I can have a picture of both my big girl and my angel baby.
It's weird....I'm really looking forward to celebrating but the saddness is right underneath the surface. I feel like at some point today I will lose it.
I just want you to know Gavin that mommy and your sister will love you forever. I think of you constantly. I know you are safe. You'll always, always be my baby boy....... Happy "Expected" Birthday Gavin Leonard Bell
When I was pregnant I was anxious to see my baby and March 9th seemed like it would never get here. After I lost him I didn't want it to come because I didn't think I could handle him not being here. Well it's here. I was actually surprised to be excited. My daughter remembered too. We planned to get a cake, light a candle and release a balloon to celebrate his life and all that he means to us. It's kind of sad for me that I don't feel comfortable sharing this day with my husband and other family & friends. They just don't understand and I don't want his day to be ruined by anyone who just doesn't get it.
I'm taking my daughter on a surprise photoshoot and I will incorporate Gavin's teddy bear and some of his other memorabilia. That way I can have a picture of both my big girl and my angel baby.
It's weird....I'm really looking forward to celebrating but the saddness is right underneath the surface. I feel like at some point today I will lose it.
I just want you to know Gavin that mommy and your sister will love you forever. I think of you constantly. I know you are safe. You'll always, always be my baby boy....... Happy "Expected" Birthday Gavin Leonard Bell