Getting cross with my fussy eater!

[EcoMama]

My son is five and is fussy with his veg, and doesn't like stuff mixed in together. This is making meal times so hard as I'm cooking for 4 and refuse to cook seperate meals.

Plus I like using the slow cooker so meals are usually a sauce type with lots in it like bolognaise or curry. I do try and make sure the stuff going in is what he likes, last night I made cottage pie with quorn mince, carrots, tin of baked beans & gravy.... It's all the stuff he likes but he refuses to eat because it's mixed up!.....

He won't try anything new and would live on cheese and crackers if I let him!

I'm finding myself getting cross as I try hard to make healthy meals but they just don't get eaten by him, then half hour later he complains of being hungry! Grrrr!

 

[EcoMama]

I should say, not all meals are slow cooker ones.

I make the typical pizza, fish fingers, sausages too with a veg of some sort. But he will usually leave the veg!

 

[hattiehippo]

You have 2 choices basically.

1) keep serving things you know he won't eat in the hope he will eventually give in.

2) cook something he will eat and serve it together with a bit of the other thing so he at least eats something.

I have a very fussy eater who is also 5. I tend to go for number 2 as it makes for less arguments and more peaceful mealtimes. It takes no time to stick a couple of fish fingers in the oven and he will at least eat those if he doesn't touch anything else. Because there is no pressure he does sometimes surprise me and eat something I don't expect him too.

 

[jjgreen]

My spouse and I are not on the same page with this.

I would prefer to let my kids go hungry until they get hungry enough to eat what I give them. But he will just make a Ellio's pizza or more frozen waffles for him. Not that my youngest know he will eventually get pizza there's no making him eat what the rest of the family does.

Fortunately, my oldest is growing out of that and is eating many new things. Giving him the pizza and waffles doesn't do any long term damage but I also hate cooking something separate for the kids too.

 

[EcoMama]

So far I've refused to cook something else, or give him pudding.... But an hour or so later I will let him have an apple or banana or yoghurt as I do feel guilty him going to bed hungry..... I will start your option 2 hattiepoo, thanks.

I'm more frustrated tonight as I asked him what he wanted, have him what he wanted and he then said I don't like it! So I got cross and he went to bed hungry :/

 

[RachA]

My 5 year old is fussy too.
I don't do seperate meals for her but I always try to put something in that she will eat. I won't cook anything seperate so it's things like giving her tomato and cucumber on the side of her plate along with the shepherds pie or whatever I've good.
If she refuses to eat what's on her plate then I won't give her anything else later in the evening even if she says she's hungry. I stick to this because everything I serve up she has eaten and liked in the past. If I was giving something totally new I wouldn't be quite so strict.

I also make sure that I do a meal 2 or 3 times a week that I know she'll eat-in her case it's anything with pasta in it. This way I know that every other day she will eat a good amount of a dinner.

 

[jd83]

You have 2 choices basically.

1) keep serving things you know he won't eat in the hope he will eventually give in.

2) cook something he will eat and serve it together with a bit of the other thing so he at least eats something.

I have a very fussy eater who is also 5. I tend to go for number 2 as it makes for less arguments and more peaceful mealtimes. It takes no time to stick a couple of fish fingers in the oven and he will at least eat those if he doesn't touch anything else. Because there is no pressure he does sometimes surprise me and eat something I don't expect him too.

This is what I do. I do find it works better than trying to force him to eat a whole plate of items he hates. If there's at least something on his plate, served in the form he likes it, he will at minimum eat that so he's not going hungry. He does surprise me and try things occasionally, and sometimes decides he likes them and cleans it up. I'm not of the mindset of eat it or go hungry, no other options. My mom did that to use growing up, and I HATED it. I wasn't even that picky an eater, but being forced to eat things I despised has stuck with me all these years, and I just will not do that to my kids. They will always have a safe option on their plates to keep from going completely hungry, but beyond that, its up to them whether they try the rest of the meal or not.

I also find it gets easier to ask them to take a bite to "try" foods as they get older. DS1 would not EVER have tried new foods when he was younger, he was SUPER picky. But as he's gotten older, his understanding obviously has gotten a lot better about food, and he 's much more willing to try a tiny bite when he knows that he can make his own mind up about continuing to eat it after trying it.

 

[EcoMama]

Thanks alicet.... My ds is a very active boy! I'm an outdoor sport instructor and my oh is very involved in outdoor sports, so our son has been brought up with a very active lifestyle, he definately gets hungry and he understands the importance of good nutrition (the hulk is strong because he eats his veg!).... He eats a lot of protein & carbs and very little fat/sugar, it's just he is so picky! One day he loves brocolli, the mext he can't stand it! He'll only eat risotto if the veg are on the side (not mixed in), his cottage pie/bolgnaise/chilli is quorn with the sauce, then the veggies next to it!.... I don't mind doing this to a certain extent but I just don't understand why I have to!

 

[hattiehippo]

Thanks alicet.... My ds is a very active boy! I'm an outdoor sport instructor and my oh is very involved in outdoor sports, so our son has been brought up with a very active lifestyle, he definately gets hungry and he understands the importance of good nutrition (the hulk is strong because he eats his veg!).... He eats a lot of protein & carbs and very little fat/sugar, it's just he is so picky! One day he loves brocolli, the mext he can't stand it! He'll only eat risotto if the veg are on the side (not mixed in), his cottage pie/bolgnaise/chilli is quorn with the sauce, then the veggies next to it!.... I don't mind doing this to a certain extent but I just don't understand why I have to!

The not mixing food thing is pretty normal for lots of children. It's supposed to be some kind of throw back to when foods could be poisonous so it's a survival instinct to be able to see clearly what you are eating...I think that's the theory anyway.

Also some people just don't like foods to be mixed together. My DH eats all his foods separately and hates it if I mix things up or offer him something sweet when he's eating something savoury. Our DS is very like this too whereas I tend to have a bit of everything mixed up on my fork when I eat. I just make sure DS's meal has clearly defined foods on the plate.

 

[EcoMama]

Thanks Hattiepoo! Come to think of it I remember my mum saying thaty dad used to do that!
He had everything seperate yesterdayand ate the lot! Carrots and all!
Also, we think he may be colour blind. I've picked up on it recently, as have his teachers in school. I've been reading about it alot recently and being a picky eater can be a sign due to the food looking unappertising :/

 

[kosh]

my 3 year old is exactly the same - he could live on carbs (rice, potatos, bread) and protein (chicken, fish, eggs). with veg though, as yours, one day he loves broccoli, the following day is yucky! one day he;ll eat only sweetcorn, then he'll pick them out of the plate! and again, the same with food being mixed together - he never liked that.
I used to give him just what I knew he liked/wanted but now I always offer some veg or something new as well. as pp said, he sometimes surprises me!

 

[sethsmummy]

the worst thing you can do with a picky eater is put pressure on them or kick up a fuss.. it will only make it worse and that came from various health professionals.

with some its the visual side, others its the textures. try make it fun if they dont like it mixed or touching then try accomodate them and add something new or different to the side of the plate but no pressure to try it and they might surprise you.

I have a very very picky eater x