getting irritated with people

[babycraze19]

I dont know if anyone else has ever expirenced this but lately I have people critizing me for wanting to have a baby. Given i'm 20 and still in university which is why i'm waiting but they talk to me like i'm stupid. They say stuff like you can't have a baby your too young, you'll ruin your life, you don't have enough life expirence, you and your hubby won't be able to handle it! and i'm just getting really tired of hearing it. I'm an old soul i've done the partying thing, i think its a waste of money, i've travelled and i have an education, i guess i just get irritated that people are throwing me into this category when they really know nothing about me. Given I know i'm young but i'm going to wait until atleast 22 to start trying but when did people start critizing for others for thinking about babies? Just cause you want one doesn't mean that you get one, obviously you have to think whats in the best interest of the baby but I just find people lately to quick to judge. I'm just wondering if anyone else has expirenced this and what they did? sorry for the rant chickas but thanks for listening!!
Kayla

 

[ozbutterfly]

People criticize other people because they feel insecure about themselves. The people who are criticizing you are just jealous that you know what you want in life and they don't. They make themselves feel better by making bad comments about your commitment so they don't have to feel bad or unsure about their lack of commitments and/or knowing what they want out of life.

 

[Stacey24]

I had my ds when I was 21 and was told all through my pregnancy that I had ruined my life because I got pregnant while I was at college. I just brushed off the comments and proved them all wrong and finished my course. I have now gone on to do more courses and have a succesful business and I'm only 25 now. I have a very strong bond with my son and he has never missed out on anything for me to study and get my business running. Some people just believe when you have a child you can't have a life as well and there isn't much you can do to change their opinions until you are in the positions to prove them wrong. So I say just go for it as long as you know what you what from life it is achievable. Hth x

 

[Mrs Doddy]

Ignore them - they don't know you, people always think they know better.

 

[clairebear]

i had this with a work collegue when i got pg i was just 21 and she was 25 and her husband didnt want any children just yet. She got very jealous and told me nearly everyday that i was wasting my life

just ignore them hunx

 

[MummyToAmberx]

guess im the lucky 1 so far.
all my family and friends stood by me, the whole way, never said i shouldnt be having my daughter. i was 18 when i had amber.

 

[Drazic<3]

I so get what you mean. Im at uni too and even though i havent told anyone that we are going to be trying soon, i just know they would be like that. My mum even hints regularly how little she wants me to have a child until in like 30!

Just ignore them, its your life and your body. If you have thought everything through and you are ready for baby, you have noone to answer to.

 

[lulu2008]

Listen hun from my experience
I am 38 yrs old i have 2 sons 1 is 14 and the other will be 20 this month i had my 1st son when i was 17 and the other when i was 24. Having my kids never stopped me from being succesful in life I studied and went threw a Divorce and put myself in med school as a single parent with no HELP!!!!! I am a Dr Now and i am proud of who i am and the choices i made in life, So those people for saying that your too young they just have low self esteem about themselves, So my Opinion do as your mind body and Heart wants and be Positive who gives a CR++++ about what ppl say.. Good Luck!!!!

Alicia
P>S I am 38 and remarried and TTC Baby# 3.....And i dont Care what ppl Say!!!!!

 

[gnomette]

i fell pregnant with my son when i was 18 and i had him when i was 19 his father did a bunk and i was left on my own (best mistake i ever made) i was told by my boss at the time that if i had my baby then i would be ruinin my babies life and my own needless to say i when back for the 3months i had too so as not to have to pay all my maternety pay back and i left for another job i saw her recently and she stil can not look me in the eye she has a son and she works 6days a week and barely sees her son so i see it in my head that i actually know my son inside and out i have always been there for him and she i think felt like she didnt have the chance and she was/is stil jelouse of me and what i acheived so i know no matter how young or old you are you can stil be a good mum or bad mum but as long as you do your best no matter how old/young you are you cant go far wrong as long as you know you are doing the right thing then no one elses opinon matters!!!

i hope i have helped

 

[honeybunch2k7]

I get that,too. I think people need to mind their own business. I'm coming to the point where I just don't tell people stuff. I'm 21 and want a baby. I was told the baby would ruin my life. I agree people have some serious nerve. Young woman does not necessarily equal bad mom.

 

[babycraze19]

hey thanks for the replies girlies, i know that some people just like to give their opinion even when its not wanted or needed, and I really appreciate you guys telling me your expirences, i've always had problems with always trying to please everything but as you all know...impossible! but luckily my OH has really been helping me learn that you can't please everyone and aslong as your happy with yourself that's all that matters! So I just wanted tos ay thanks for the input it really helped to know I wasn't the only one! Thanks ladies!

 

[mizzbabyluv]

oh my goodness!!
im new here and you and i have spookily similar circumstances.
Im in my third year of Uni, turning 21 tomorrow and really want a baby with all my heart.
I've been going on about being a mummy since i was 17, everyone has always told me i was too young and 'live a little', im happy that i have done alot of travelling and will finish my degree in June. I want to be a mummy more than i want to get my career on the go if that makes sense. And since when i do eventually get pregnant I would want to be a stay at home mum i dont see the point in waiting.
If i had my way id get pregnant now, raise my babies myself and sort my career out when they start school.
Id rather sacrifice my younger years to motherhood and party through my retirement!lol
So happy someone else in my situation xx

 

[honeybunch2k7]

oh my goodness!!
im new here and you and i have spookily similar circumstances.
Im in my third year of Uni, turning 21 tomorrow and really want a baby with all my heart.
I've been going on about being a mummy since i was 17, everyone has always told me i was too young and 'live a little', im happy that i have done alot of travelling and will finish my degree in June. I want to be a mummy more than i want to get my career on the go if that makes sense. And since when i do eventually get pregnant I would want to be a stay at home mum i dont see the point in waiting.If i had my way id get pregnant now, raise my babies myself and sort my career out when they start school.
Id rather sacrifice my younger years to motherhood and party through my retirement!lol
So happy someone else in my situation xx

Me,tooo!

 

[cazd]

SOD EM !
(and choicer words to that effect)

You sound perfectly capable to me. Starting a family isn't about age - its about whether you're capable of giving your baby the best possible start in life - whether you can feed, clothe and love it - give it discipline and attention.

If you can do all that - then you're a perfect mum - and NO-ONE can tell you otherwise!

 

[babycraze19]

hey girlies! you guys are totally right! It doesn't matter what age you are, as long as you provide for your baby. I've always knows i've wanted kids! I just always wanted to have kids young so that not only am I and my partner able to run aorund and play, but then my parents are young and able to play with the kids. My parents had me young and I feel that i can talk to them about anything and we have similar personailities, and I'm totally like you mizzbabyluv, I always felt that if i had kids young, then they grow up and I'd still have years to travel and enjoy my older years before it becomes impossible to do. But thanks girlies, by having you guys talk reply I can totally feel better about what my plan and everything! Thanks, and wish you all the best with what the futures holds for you girlies!!

 

[tasha41]

I'm 19 and going to be having my first soon. I don't think a baby should be blamed for a person not getting an education, etc. because there's honestly SO much help out there that there is NO reason you can't be a successful mum and career woman..

I think people tend to say things to young moms like "you're ruining your life" because if they could go back they'd change something about the way they did things or think we're missing out on something. In reality, we still have our whole lives ahead of us!

 

[sleepinbeauty]

I get that a lot too. I'm also in college and I REALLY want to have kids with OH...but we're waiting. We're trying to find an apartment now and he wants to get married first (well...if I HAVE to ) At minumum (barring suprises) we won't be parents until i'm at least 21-22 years old. Dont worry about them.

I'm not a partier/I've been to where I want to be and *I* feel that *I* am ready to start moving towards that goal. I'm in the EXACT same boat as you.

 

[Dream.A.Dream]

I'm in the exact same boat as all of you as well. Yes, I'm young. But i also know my own mind, know what i want, how i feel and i know that i can do it. I can give a baby what it needs, maybe i haven't worked for years and years so i don't have the money to buy the very best of everything in terms of prams etc. But really is that what a baby really needs? Or do they need loving, caring for and looking after? I personally know that the second is more important and i know i can give a baby that. Don't let anyone try and make you feel bad for feeling the way you do xx