Getting on with your ex?

[Jade--x]

So me and my ex have a pretty bad past and I've heard a lot of things that have been said since by him and his girlfriend that really aren't true ie. I have a deep hate and jealousy for them etc.

Well long story short..I don't..the reason I've never wanted any contact from either of them is a. The things I've been told about them which a lot of them seem to have been proved true..and b. The awful things my ex put me through both in the relationship and during and after my pregnancy when the relationship was over.

I decided quite a while back I was letting go of everything that was reasons to hate and dislike people..And that included the crap I've had with them.

Don't get me wrong I don't want to be any kind of best friends with these people while I'm being the bigger person and letting go of the past for my own benefit..You can't just erase things like that totally..

Just wondered if anyone had any advice on how I can let them know that that's how it is and how I'm willing to be civil for my son..But I really don't want to make any kind of contact with them first.

 

[xarlenex]

If you dont want to make contact first I dont see how you could get across how you feel :shurg: is he your sons father? if so does he have access to him?

 

[Jade--x]

He is yeah and he does but its through a family member of mine

 

[Laura2919]

I think it is just a case of rising above it all. You don't need to contact him about it. FOB and I sometimes have a good relationship and then other times its strained, I like you have had to let go of a lot of bad feeling because otherwise it would just consume me. Sometimes it is not easy but I try and only mention the things I think are more important.

 

[tallybee]

I think it is just a case of rising above it all. You don't need to contact him about it. FOB and I sometimes have a good relationship and then other times its strained, I like you have had to let go of a lot of bad feeling because otherwise it would just consume me. Sometimes it is not easy but I try and only mention the things I think are more important.

I agree

I think contacting/making it known would come across strange really

 

[Jade--x]

Yeah I've got no intentions of contacting him about it he's always been manipulative in the past and I wouldn't put it past him to alter it to be something else IYKWIM? While I'd be civil I would never trust him. If he were to contact me I'd be civil back, providing it wasn't some kind of abuse like it always used to be.

 

[tallybee]

Yeah I've got no intentions of contacting him about it he's always been manipulative in the past and I wouldn't put it past him to alter it to be something else IYKWIM? While I'd be civil I would never trust him. If he were to contact me I'd be civil back, providing it wasn't some kind of abuse like it always used to be.

Yup, actions speak louder than words hun, all you can do is be the bigger person and hold your head high x