Getting upset at nursery.

[FEDup1981]

Jack went to playgroup from january to july, and after his initial settling in period, there was no problems.
He moved to this nursery in sept, and he had no problems at all, up until about 2 weeks ago.

He started off coming home telling me he'd been crying. And i kinda brushed it off, not quite believing him. As he's never had any problems, i thought he was, i suppose, exaggerating.

Then last week his teacher had a word with me saying he'd been getting upset, that he had said to her he doesnt like school or his teachers. She said she thought it could be because she spoke to him about sharing, after he had a little scuffle over a bike.

Then yesterday another worker in his classed mentioned he'd got quite upset on monday, and that she's noticed he doesnt like change. Like if the toys have changed.

And today hes got upset as he was going into nursery and i stayed and settled him. He wasnt happy that i was going home.

Ive tried talking to him, reassuring him. The only thing i can think of thats changed recently is his teacher left at half term. But there was 3 of them, and 2 of them are still there.

I dont know whats up, but its breaking my heart to see my boy so upset, and me still sending him.

 

[lauren-kate]

Not too sure what to suggest really, have you asked him why he was crying?

 

[FEDup1981]

Yeah, he just says he doesnt like school, i ask why, and i get i just dont

I get no where with him.

He says that no one is bullying him, and i know he has friends. Im just lost as to what to do/say next?

 

[lauren-kate]

Just did a search online for you and found this;

"What you can do at home is try to get your son to express himself. Ask him "What are you feeling?" and "What would you like?" questions. Then - and this is the hard part - you have to wait for his answers. You can tell him that you don't really know what he wants, that he needs to say it himself. When he does, be sure to praise him: "You spoke so well! I love when you tell me your feelings!"

That was on ivillage. I'm not sure how much it helps, if at all. Hope you manage to get to the bottom of it all though.

 

[FEDup1981]

Just did a search online for you and found this;

"What you can do at home is try to get your son to express himself. Ask him "What are you feeling?" and "What would you like?" questions. Then - and this is the hard part - you have to wait for his answers. You can tell him that you don't really know what he wants, that he needs to say it himself. When he does, be sure to praise him: "You spoke so well! I love when you tell me your feelings!"

That was on ivillage. I'm not sure how much it helps, if at all. Hope you manage to get to the bottom of it all though.

Thanks, ill have a go at this, gotta be worth a try. Ur a star! xxx

 

[Whisper]

Change can be very unsettling for some kids and even adults.

My only suggestion as well as the above is to prepare him for whats coming up.

Ie give him count downs to stuff happening, in one sleep you will have school in the morning, when you get to school Mrs/Mr is going to be teaching you today. Maybe have a word with the teacher and see if they can tell him whats going to happen, like when the toys are going to be changed etc.

Not sure if it will help but if you didn't already do that it may be worth a try.

I hope you find out the cause of this soon. x

 

[FEDup1981]

Change can be very unsettling for some kids and even adults.

My only suggestion as well as the above is to prepare him for whats coming up.

Ie give him count downs to stuff happening, in one sleep you will have school in the morning, when you get to school Mrs/Mr is going to be teaching you today. Maybe have a word with the teacher and see if they can tell him whats going to happen, like when the toys are going to be changed etc.

Not sure if it will help but if you didn't already do that it may be worth a try.

I hope you find out the cause of this soon. x

Thank u, thats a great idea also. Ill try that x

 

[Dinoslass]

I think it must be the change too. And maybe he read more into the fact that the teacher said he had to share. If he felt she was angry, that might upset him everytime the toys need to be changed.
Perhaps you can ask this same teacher to praise him a few times when he is sharing. I do not know if she would want to do that, but it might help.
Good luck anyways!

 

[Akira]

You may also find using a feelings chart helpful. Draw faces on a poster and then each day he can draw the smiles on, which will show you either happy, average, or sad (or some variations of this) also (I'm not sure of your Sons age so this may not be appropriate) but maybe find some picture cards of different actions, such as hitting, snatching toys, yelling etc so he can 'show' you what is bothering him. I would have a heap of these cards, with everything from lunch to playing with friends, to reading book, basically everything he could do at nursery, and he can choose which of the cards happened that day. That way, you get your answer without perhaps upsetting him if he does not want to talk about it.

Change can be exteremely difficult for children. I am a teacher in a Pre-School and we know which children struggle with change. We then involve these children in helping to choose the next toys (so they are pre warned that those toys will be out, rather than just getting a shock the next day), we let them know in advance if we are going for walks, or if one of their friends is not coming in that day. Sometimes its not necessarily change that bothers them, its the shock of the change, and if that initial shock can be managed then they may be alot calmer and happier about the change

 

[lauren-kate]

You may also find using a feelings chart helpful. Draw faces on a poster and then each day he can draw the smiles on, which will show you either happy, average, or sad (or some variations of this) also (I'm not sure of your Sons age so this may not be appropriate) but maybe find some picture cards of different actions, such as hitting, snatching toys, yelling etc so he can 'show' you what is bothering him. I would have a heap of these cards, with everything from lunch to playing with friends, to reading book, basically everything he could do at nursery, and he can choose which of the cards happened that day. That way, you get your answer without perhaps upsetting him if he does not want to talk about it.

Those are great ideas! I'll try to remember them for if I need them.

 

[Whisper]

How is he getting on have you tried anything with him?