GF had IUI, also natural. 2 men. who could it be?

[MustBeMummy]

I think she needs to have some sort of counseling. She is clearly determined to do anything to have a baby. It's not really normal behaviour....

 

[Andy327]

Thanks for the input. All of it.

I suppose my main question is answered, and since there is no definitive way to tell, it will come down to a DNA test.
Would the IUI docs scan for an already implanted egg if they had no reason to suspect one? Meaning, if she is telling them she is not being sexually active at all during this all, would they search for one (or would it be otherwise obvious at some step of the IUI procedure?)

My ultimate need is to know that it was possible, even if the odds are remote. Because no matter what happens down the road, I can't possibly imagine having a child out there and not wanting to be a part of their life.

And I Do agree with many of you. Desperation to have a baby at any cost. But the using of poor quality sperm from her estranged husband just smacks me in the face. If therapy and clear communication dont happen from this point on, I can accept that we were not meant to be a couple, but I just want to be sure in terms of the pregnancy. Should it remain viable (she has PCOS and a couple other things that supposedly make her odds of carrying full term slim), I want to know and step up and be there in whatever capacity I am allowed by law.

Thanks again

 

[oneKnight]

A woman's cycle works a certain way. They would be waiting for ovulation to do the IUI and before ovulation, she could not be pregnant from this cycle yet, before the IUI. They don't even have to "look" for an implantation because pre-ovulation if the egg hasn't matured yet, it is not even there to be fertilized, much less implanted. They are checking the scan to see if the egg has been released yet or not, and if it hasn't then there can not be pregnancy.

Yes. They would be able to tell if she was pregnant before they inseminated for the IUI. That seems to be your question.

Where the ambiguity happens is that your sperm can live inside her for several days so IF any of yours was still in there at the time of ovulation and the IUI, then there's no way to say for sure which sperm found the egg first when it was finally released.

Does that answer your question?? Her conception date is the same, no matter how or when she was inseminated, because it all depends on when her only egg was released this month - and that is what they look for on the scans

 

[amjon]

Thanks for the input. All of it.

I suppose my main question is answered, and since there is no definitive way to tell, it will come down to a DNA test.
Would the IUI docs scan for an already implanted egg if they had no reason to suspect one? Meaning, if she is telling them she is not being sexually active at all during this all, would they search for one (or would it be otherwise obvious at some step of the IUI procedure?)

My ultimate need is to know that it was possible, even if the odds are remote. Because no matter what happens down the road, I can't possibly imagine having a child out there and not wanting to be a part of their life.

And I Do agree with many of you. Desperation to have a baby at any cost. But the using of poor quality sperm from her estranged husband just smacks me in the face. If therapy and clear communication dont happen from this point on, I can accept that we were not meant to be a couple, but I just want to be sure in terms of the pregnancy. Should it remain viable (she has PCOS and a couple other things that supposedly make her odds of carrying full term slim), I want to know and step up and be there in whatever capacity I am allowed by law.

Thanks again

Unless it was 2 or 3 weeks past ovulation there would be nothing to really see. I had several ultrasounds a few days before I got my positive test last time and they had no idea I was pregnant or could even tell I had ovulated from the U/S. They did say my lining was thickened, but it does that pregnant or not.

 

[lmp1505768]

So, I just want to throw out there that not only did she not consider you in this mess, but what about this little baby!? I also would want proof she is pregnant.

Moving on.

It all really depends on her cycle length. And with PCOS that can be difficult to judge. It seems possible, but very very very unlikely that this baby would be yours, if her dates are accurate.

Also, with her HCG that low, she is very newly pregnant, which really narrows down your conception time frame. I feel like if she conceived from intercourse with you, it would be higher?? But hcg does vary a bit so, nothings for sure.

Best of luck with everything!

 

[NerdyMama]

I also think that as long as those dates are concrete, the chance of the baby being yours is slim to none. I am so sorry that you are going through this. Once things get sorted you probably should find someone who respects you more....
so sorry for the mess your in......

 

[Bubsta]

I don't know the answer and I respect your request for no judgement. My advice would be to perhaps give a fertility specialist a call (or the specialist that performed this particular iui) and seek their advice. They should be able to give you a definitive answer as to whether they were able to check for pregnancy prior to the procedure, or if you have to wait for DNA. I hope you get the answers you want and quickly. Good luck.

 

[Andy327]

Again, it's kind to have those opinions offered. I believe since she heavily assumes I wouldnt read her infertility blog, that her data on it is accurate.
I have kids and was always there with my ex. She was one of those women I guess many of you would dislike (I am not meaning to speak in generality of course, but I am on an infertility forum). My ex could get pregnant off of using a single over the counter ovulation prediction kit. She had very easy pregnancies (vitamins and a routine office visit every 6 weeks) and would generally deliver within an hour of going into labor. full term babies at 9 lbs and all healthy. I am indeed blessed. My youngest is 7 now and I guess I had hopes for another. But as I look at this situation, it would not be the worst twist of fate if the child wasn't mine.
Given the consensus here, I am preparing for the likely outcome of it not being mine. But of course I will confirm this if and when the time comes.

Again, thanks for your kind words. I am sure some would probably have liked to have been less kind in their wording. And in all honesty, I can't say as I blame you.

 

[skye93]

What a horrible situation for you to be put in! If it was me I know what i'd be doing, she can't be trusted obviously. I hope for your sake that things turn out the way you'd like them to.
Good luck, didn't want to read & run