girl/ boy likes and being mean

[DCS]

I'm realy stuck with how to deal with this. On a few occasions ds ( 4 and 9 months) has come home quite upset because xyz have said they are not his friend, or they don't like his hair, or glasses.
He also comes home upset because xyz have said he is a girl because he likes frozen, or had frozen tissues or because his hair was longer he liked pink.
We have never gender stereo typed in our house. We don't have boys toys or girls toys and we are quick to correct anyone who says otherwise. Iv explained there is no such thing as boys toys and girls toys. No boy colours or girl colours. They are for everyone. Iv explained just because he likes something different to his friends, it doesn't meant they can't play together. It's OK for people to like different things etc.
It seems to be the same 2 or 3 kids, they all seem to play together, and seem to be friends.
I feel like iv said everything I can think of but obviously I'm not doing a good job of it because he is still upset by it.
Just not sure what to say to him to make him understand and feel better.

 

[SophiasMummy]

I'm afraid if my LO tells me someone is mean to her I tell her not to play with them and to play with someone else. however my LO is friends with pretty much everyone as she is in a very small close knit school so it's not a big deal to me if she doesn't play with kids if they upset her.

Your always going to get kids who are very stereotypical about things like girls/boys toys, they're at an age where they're figuring out the world around them and learning to understand other people and unfortunately kids are mean to each other a lot of the time unintentionally at this age especially when it comes to things like toys.

I really would encourage him to play with someone else though and maybe mention it to the teacher so she/he can keep an eye out and maybe explain to the children about kids being able to play with whatever toys they want

 

[k4th]

I'd tell the teacher too. Just so he/she can keep an eye on it. It does sound like pretty normal behaviour for 4 year olds though. Many of them will have grown up with gender stereotypes and may not understand someone who doesn't stick to them.

I think your ds will be too old for them in terms of the story - but would it be worth reading some of the elmer elephant books. Just from a "different but happy" perspective??

I think it's great that he doesn't stick with the stereotypes! And many of the kids may well come to that conclusion themselves, given a little time.

 

[SarahBear]

I worry about this for my son as he has an older sister and we also do our best to not gender stereotype... So there's a good chance he won't conform and will then get flack for not conforming. *following*

 

[DCS]

I had a word with his teacher, and she reassured us we were doing the right thing and saying the right things. DS told us about a class discussion they had. Which I'm guessing was down to what I had said. However I don't think the kids will change their minds as I agree that what they think is what they have been taught by their parents.
We do love Elmer. We had a chat tonight about Elmer and about being different. He seems to get it.
He is a bright boy, super confident and very sure of what he likes, which is a bit annoying at time ( meal times), he knows what he wants but these comments obviously upset it. Iv tried explaining that just because x says they are not his friend anymore doesn't mean they won't be in 10 minutes or the next day.
I realy hope this doesn't change him. I love that he loves everything. His sisters the same. People show her dolls and princesses and she isn't bothered by them, but show her super hero's and tmnt and she goes nuts.
I just hope iv done a good enough job of teaching him that we can like what we like, and there are no restrictions on what we can do/ play with/ like/ wear just because of our gender, that he feels comfortable with his true feelings towards things rather than conform to what society/ friends/ other people think we should.