girls 40+ you ever get funny looks when telling people you are ttc

[ttc1st_at_40]

I am 40 1/2 (was just married 4 months ago) so have just started ttc. Most peoples comments are "oh so you guys arent going to have kids are you" insinuating that I am too old. or I get the look from the the inlaws insinuating... wow why would you do such a thing at this age. My husband has 4 sisters that have all had children in the 20-30s and here comes the new SIL at 40 trying to have their brothers baby and they think it is just not a good idea. I could just scream !! want to say WAKE UP People I am 40 not 60

 

[Omi]

Some people are plain stupid. I for one know what i am doing since i am 40 and not 14, thank you very much!

But i also have to add that although id like a baby more than anything - i don't regret having had a life chockfull of experiences that most people can only dream of - and sometimes i see these youngun's kissing all of that goodbye (No offence to those who did - my mum was one of them and did very well ). I don't advocate waiting to have a baby but family doesn't have to start at 23 and not all blokes come along at that time either!! We should know

No one else is living your/my life and they can just sod off. They are obviously buying the 'old birds wanting to have careers and then cant have babies when they want them- media' thing. Rubbish.

Don't you mind. Focus and you will get there. Head high chicken!

 

[seoj]

Hope it's ok I post... as I'm not 40... but going on 37... And at any "older" age people have opinions. Mostly good. But yes, some just don't get it. I was 32 when I met the love of my life... and I have NO regrets waiting. Could I have settled? Of course... but did I want to? Heck NO!!!! For me... it's about who I'm with and knowing I'm ready to take that next step- period. For some people, yea, it happens when they are 22... it did for many of my cousins (lol)... but that wasn't what I wanted. I wasn't ready and I wanted to experience life first- then settle down.

So I took things in the order that was right for me. You are doing the same. So if someone has issue with it- then guess what? That is THEIR issue... not yours.

Good luck and baby dust!

 

[Omi]

Im gonna go out on a limb here and say you only have to see how many young mums/girls are unhappy with their partners to realise how many of the older guard seem to have very loving stable relationships in comparison...just saying..

 

[ttc1st_at_40]

gosh girls I knew I came to the right place to pose this question in the first place.

I am soooo in love with my husband, we've dated for 10 years before marriage... and me yes I would have loved to have kids years ago with him, but he was just not ready... he is now though and thats what needed to happen, he wasnt ready before but is now.

Although I have regretts not getting married sooner and not trying sooner, because I get a little worried about... "what him waiting so long to "be ready" will be the cause of us not being able to concerive" I would be devastated.... but ya know what....he SIMPLY was not "there" 5 years ago..6 years ago.. 7 years ago... nothing I can do about that now... but just pray on it and hope I am blessed... regardless of my age

 

[Nat0619]

Hi Ladies

Hope you don't mind me posting on here as I am not 40. But I am 36 so in the 'over 35 so you must be barren according to the media' category.

I got married at 27, after meeting my ex at 17, but did not ttc in that relationship as finances were always tight and I would not have been able to even afford to go on maternity leave (I was the main earner). We ended up splitting up when I was 32 anyway so better that we didn't have children.

I am now with my current OH, who is so much better for me than my ex ever was and we are very, very happy. We have been together nearly 3 years now and both want a child so have been ttc since around March this year. Sometimes life just doesn't turn out as you think but hopefully there is still time for all of us

I actually haven't had the problem of people assuming we're not going to have children. I have the opposite, people waiting for me to announce a pregnancy and seeming to think it's going to happen 'just like that'! So it's a right pain that it's taking so flippin' long x

 

[mumoffive]

Well sometimes its just the way things go..and why shouldnt you want a baby at 40 plus? Its so strange because years ago, noone batted an eyelid as many many women gave birth at that age..just follow your family history! Well, i had twins at 19 [ unplanned] and a son at 21 [planned]. I loved my kids but always felt i was missing out. I trained as my kids grew up as a teacher, qualified and got a job and then had a strong yearning for a baby again at 38. Most people thought i was mad but some looked upon in envy at how lucky i was to 'do it all again' Well i fell pregnant within a month of trying and then decided after having my baby daughter, i fell pregnant with my ds and had him at 40. I am now expecting my last baby at 42! It took a little longer..with a chemical inbetween but 5 months in totals not bad for my age!!! Dont give up hope and dont listen to the negativity..do whats in your heart. x

 

[poppy666]

Id say stuff them, im 40 just starting all over again with a 6mth LO, yes some people were surprised, but not got any funny comments & at the moment ttc one last time, so id say go for it sweetie ignore what others say

 

[purplerose]

I'm in my mid 20s however my partner is ten years my senior so as the years are going quickly God can't believe it is October already.

Honestly I'm not sure when we are going to TTC hopefully before I'm 30. I don't give strange looks to middle aged ladies TTC or having babies. Because as someone said Women had babies decades ago well until their late 40s.

My grandmother was born three months before her aunty was born. Her mother was 21 years old and her grandmother was in her mid 40s. Hey even my grandfather was born to his mother who was 41 years old at the time.

Also my uncle's wife had her last child at age 46.

For me I like to look into the long term, as we age, will taking care of a baby be serious on health, I think if I have a baby at 30 with my other half and the baby turns 20, I would be fifty and my other half sixty.

Of course that is a long way to go lol. Good Luck to you all.

 

[babyanise]

Well sometimes its just the way things go..and why shouldnt you want a baby at 40 plus? Its so strange because years ago, noone batted an eyelid as many many women gave birth at that age..just follow your family history! Well, i had twins at 19 [ unplanned] and a son at 21 [planned]. I loved my kids but always felt i was missing out. I trained as my kids grew up as a teacher, qualified and got a job and then had a strong yearning for a baby again at 38. Most people thought i was mad but some looked upon in envy at how lucky i was to 'do it all again' Well i fell pregnant within a month of trying and then decided after having my baby daughter, i fell pregnant with my ds and had him at 40. I am now expecting my last baby at 42! It took a little longer..with a chemical inbetween but 5 months in totals not bad for my age!!! Dont give up hope and dont listen to the negativity..do whats in your heart. x

mum your so right about what you said,"do whats in your heart"my heart tells me not to give up but my head is saying give up,its not going to happen,not now.that is why i have given up,i feel im 43 and to old,i will be 44 in march,i dont look it or feel it but i guess my inside doesbut the thing thats killing me is my oh,he is 33 and never had a child and i feel so bad that i cant give him one,he says if it happens great but if not it doesnt matter as he has me and my boysbut surly deep down he must want to know what its like to be a dad,to hold your baby for the 1st time,ect,even if he says he doesnt mind if it never happens,i feel very guilty for taking that away from himok i know 43 is not old to be trying as there are many who have them at my age and older,i just feel its to old for me,why cant i be one of the ones who get a bfp at 43,i just wish it was me and although i have said i have given up,its still there in the back of my mind,what if it would have been this month for my bfp and i didnt tryim so confused with it allsorry for my rant but as mum says,do whats in your heart hun and never mind others,its your body,your life and fx your baby,if it feels right for you,go for it.

 

[Abigailly]

As a youngster I couldn't understand why people would want kids so late on until my aunty (who had her first at 41) said to me 'if I was too old God would have sent me menopause by now'.

Sorry to hijack the thread it's just to quickly say to baby anise that my OH's best mate was in your situation. He's 34and happily married to his wife who's 46 and has PCOS. He was happy with no kids, it was her he loved and he raised her 3 as his own. That was until she got a positive pregnancy test when she was 44, so anything is possible and I'm sure your OH will be happy no matter what the future holds.

 

[Delilah]

I just had a baby in June and will be 40 in 7 weeks. I have not had any funny remarks to my knowledge and most people have been amazing. Sometimes people react more based on their own feelings/insecurities than anything to do with us. The way I see it is that Nathan will be 20 when I'm 60 but 60 these days is young and regardless of age we could all get run over by a bus tomorrow so I wish you every success on your TTC journey. I hope that you ladies will all have pregnancy tickers well underway by the time I start TTC again hopefully next year if DH agrees xxx

 

[The Shires]

I am 40 1/2 (was just married 4 months ago) so have just started ttc. Most peoples comments are "oh so you guys arent going to have kids are you" insinuating that I am too old. or I get the look from the the inlaws insinuating... wow why would you do such a thing at this age. My husband has 4 sisters that have all had children in the 20-30s and here comes the new SIL at 40 trying to have their brothers baby and they think it is just not a good idea. I could just scream !! want to say WAKE UP People I am 40 not 60

Some people can be so insensitive. I haven't told anybody we're ttc(#4). perhaps being a bit of a chicken or maybe it's just nobody else's business but mine and DH. Not asking them to bring up the baby for us and I agree we know our own minds at 43 -me and DH 44. ttc since feb 09. 2 mc. one at 5 weeks and last one 09/09 at 9+ weeks.
I do have days when I think - what are we doing but those thoughts don't last long. I feel we are being greedy as we already have 3 lovely children,eldest just celebrated 18th. but I think it's because we love our children so much thats why we want just one more. On 1st round of clomid so we're still on the journey. Good luck to all fellow oldies. you're as young as you feel, after all.

 

[poppy666]

I am 40 1/2 (was just married 4 months ago) so have just started ttc. Most peoples comments are "oh so you guys arent going to have kids are you" insinuating that I am too old. or I get the look from the the inlaws insinuating... wow why would you do such a thing at this age. My husband has 4 sisters that have all had children in the 20-30s and here comes the new SIL at 40 trying to have their brothers baby and they think it is just not a good idea. I could just scream !! want to say WAKE UP People I am 40 not 60

Some people can be so insensitive. I haven't told anybody we're ttc(#4). perhaps being a bit of a chicken or maybe it's just nobody else's business but mine and DH. Not asking them to bring up the baby for us and I agree we know our own minds at 43 -me and DH 44. ttc since feb 09. 2 mc. one at 5 weeks and last one 09/09 at 9+ weeks.
I do have days when I think - what are we doing but those thoughts don't last long. I feel we are being greedy as we already have 3 lovely children,eldest just celebrated 18th. but I think it's because we love our children so much thats why we want just one more. On 1st round of clomid so we're still on the journey. Good luck to all fellow oldies. you're as young as you feel, after all.

Well if your being greedy i am too ive got 3 grown up lads 17,18 & 19 and one just 7mths... but want one more so LO isnt on his own if you understand

Good luck on the Clomid sweetie, ive just started on the Soy isoflavones so fx it works x

 

[mothercabbage]

poppy im stalking you!!!! x

 

[poppy666]

Stalk me!! stalk me!! you made me spit my drink out with laughing lol x

 

[mothercabbage]

 

[The Shires]

I am 40 1/2 (was just married 4 months ago) so have just started ttc. Most peoples comments are "oh so you guys arent going to have kids are you" insinuating that I am too old. or I get the look from the the inlaws insinuating... wow why would you do such a thing at this age. My husband has 4 sisters that have all had children in the 20-30s and here comes the new SIL at 40 trying to have their brothers baby and they think it is just not a good idea. I could just scream !! want to say WAKE UP People I am 40 not 60

Well if your being greedy i am too ive got 3 grown up lads 17,18 & 19 and one just 7mths... but want one more so LO isnt on his own if you understand

Good luck on the Clomid sweetie, ive just started on the Soy isoflavones so fx it works x

Thanks Poppy 666 for those words. Who knows what will happen. Whats Soy isoflavones. probably find an answer on here of sorts but thought you'd know best as you're taking.

 

[poppy666]

Hiya Soy is a natural substitute for Clomid. It works by fooling your brain into thinking its estrogen levels are low. This causes your body to reslease more FSH & LH which helps stimulate follicle production (same as Clomid). You take Soy Isoflavones, like Clomid, on CD 1-5 or 2-6, or 3-7 or 5-9

I took mine on CD2-CD6 and dosage 160mg for first 3 days & last 2 days i upped to 200mg ( got mine from Tesco's 40mg per tablet)

Here is a link to thread for all information and the girls on there are lovely so will help you with any questions or concerns sweetie x


https://www.babyandbump.com/trying-to-conceive/271211-soy-isoflavones-natures-clomid.html

 

[The Shires]

thanks for info. Never heard of that. Just on 50mg of clomid to start,don't know whether it will work. Gynae on holiday this week so thats great help - I don't get a scan to check anything. just made appt to have 21 day bloods done to check ov. If things gone into overdrive(unlikely I know)could end up with twins. LOL
Good luck to you.