Giving up career to be sahm?

[george83]

Not sure if this is the best place to post but have any of you given up a career you once loved to be a sahm? If so how did you cope and do you regret it?

I don't enjoy my job as much as I used to and I constantly count down the hours until I can leave yet I'm not sure I can face giving up a career I worked so hard for. I feel like Ive suddenly realised how close ds2 and ds3 are to starting to school and I don't want to miss out on them for a minute longer.

Thanks in advance

 

[Zephram]

I wouldn't say I loved my career, haha, but it was okay as jobs go. Since having kids I have been a SAHM mum and I have worked full time. I just recently became a SAHM again after working full time and I absolutely love it! I do not regret leaving work at all, I am so much happier being at home with my kids and they are orders of magnitude happier too. Especially my DS2 who never did too well being in daycare for 10 hours a day. The change in him is magnificent, he's so happy now. My DS1 is old enough to talk about it and he has told me he's happier having me at home and able to take him to his kindy too. DS1 is starting school at the end of October and I'm so happy I'm able to take him and pick him up and I'll be able to take him to any after school activities too.

So does it outweigh not working? Massively! There are only two downsides for me to being a SAHM - I do occasionally get bored intellectually and we don't have as much money, but that's literally it. Everything else is better and worth it to be around my beautiful kids. I found it emotionally draining being away from them too and OH is happier now that we aren't rushing around in the mornings and evenings so much. Win win for all.

 

[WackyMumof2]

I'm not in a career yet but I am working towards my licence in Real Estate. But, that said, I always said I was NEVER going to be a SAHM. I didn't ever want to be. I can't do it as the first 5 years of parenthood has proven. Being home just makes me angry and unsettled so for the last 2-3 years I have worked part-time, studied full-time and hubby is at home full-time with the kids. Hubby never wanted to work as he's not a socially interactive person. The idea of mingling with people scares him truth be known. It works for us. My father is VERY traditional and said it should be around the other way. He gave hubby shit about it for years! But he's coming to terms with it and realizes that this is what I want, this is what hubby wants and it works for US. I'm at the moment 50/50 as to trying once more for a girl in a few years because not only does it mean I will be 36, but it also means the career I am working towards will again go on hold and I don't know if I want to do that.

 

[c1403]

My choice to give up my career wasn't really down to me as I was made redundant on maternity leave with DD1. I planned to go back to work but they did me a huge favour. I love being at home with my children, I did miss work so I got a part time job in an local office and I work 2 days a week. The job came with flexibility and no pressure. My old job would have meant a 1+ hour commute each way, childcare costs and a lot of pressure. I'd say go for it and maybe after a while look for something part time closer to home if you miss it.

 

[CaliDreaming]

I am a full-time working mom, but I read an interesting article about the numbers of moms who leave behind careers to be SAHMs. The stats were very surprising to me. Despite the reasons women typically give, the decision to become a stay-at-home mom appears to be driven primarily by economics, whether that decision is conscious or subconscious. Women who earned a certain amount of money sufficient to cover childcare and to make a significant improvement to the family's standard of living almost universally opted to continue working. Only about 1% of the moms who earned a certain amount of money left it behind to be a SAHM.

My SIL is in a situation where she had initially wanted to work, but with the cost of childcare it makes more sense for her to stay home.

 

[Mrs R]

I have recently given up a very stressful, professional career after 9 years of loving it. I got to the stage where i felt like I wasn't doing a good job in work or at home and it was all too much.
Yes it's a big change but i couldn't have kept going the way i was. I always imagined when my youngest started school (as she did last month) that i would take a step up the career ladder into management or something. Instead, I've jumped off the career ladder altogether lol

I agree that when the children are at school, I do need to find something to do everyday (i always find something to do, even if its going for a walk etc). Financially, we are obviously not so well off but I have found that with not paying childcare and fuel anymore, coupled with having more time to shop/meal plan and be sensible with our money ( and not just buy ready meals on the way home from work), the financial difference isn't really even that noticeable.

In a few years, when your children are teenagers and too embarrassed to be seen with you, there'll be plenty of time for your career if you decide to take a break now

 

[george83]

Thank you for your honest replies. I’ve decided to do it slowly to make sure it’s the right decision and maybe next school year try a career change which gives me work during school hours and nothing to bring home. I feel like I’m such a failure for giving up my career but you all make it sound easy!!

Thank you again very reassuring

 

[crusherwife44]

My dream was to be a stay at home mom. Life happened and I got into the military after one baby... I have 2 now and have missed over 2 years of my older sons life and 1 year of the little one. Breaks my heart and I wish I could have made it work another way. We are hoping to have another and work something out so I can get out and stay home. If you have the option to stay home. I say take it! There is plenty of time to work later on. Enjoy those sweet little munchkins.

 

[Teri7489]

I wouldn't say I gave up my career, I've still got a toe in the door but I'm essentially a SAHM. I'm a registered nurse and worked full time before having my 2, I went back after my daughter and hated working 15 hour days, hated the thought of what I was missing. Some days I'd go to work while she was asleep and come home to her already sound in bed. It was horrible. after I had my son I changed to agency work so now only do shifts a few times a month to keep my legal registration. I get to be with my children and I adore it. I will go back full time when they are bigger - there's plenty time to work, they are only little for a short while.

 

[WackyMumof2]

Thank you for your honest replies. I’ve decided to do it slowly to make sure it’s the right decision and maybe next school year try a career change which gives me work during school hours and nothing to bring home. I feel like I’m such a failure for giving up my career but you all make it sound easy!!

Thank you again very reassuring

I think for me with Real Estate, it offers me a LOT of flexibility as although I will work under a Level 5 Agent (NZ law dictates that I can not work soley for myself without Level 5) I can work from home and work for hours that suit myself and my family. So be I at home in my own office or a company office, as long as I am with a company, I'm all set to do my own thing - I just have to answer to a higher power but have the flexibility to do most of it myself. Is working from home and in hours that work for you a possibility maybe? Maybe when baby is down for several hours a day, dedicate that time to working from home. Just make sure that your clients know these are your hours of work and anything outside of that you will be unable to deal with their questions due to family requirements.

 

[Koifish]

I am kind of glad I came across this. I am currently in my career and I do enjoy my job for the most part but not so much some of the people or the changes they now want to make to my position. I hate that I am missing out on my boys and will potentially miss out on the one I am expecting. Mine are in day care for almost 12hours 4 days a week and with grandparents one weekend day. Although I don’t necessarily want to leave my job the cost of childcare with a third isn’t worth me working. If I stay or go we will not be well financially but likely better off with me stepping down. It’s kind of scary tbh but I know it will work out somehow. I won’t be completely leaving either I’ll be applying for a transfer to a position that allows me to sign up for shifts 2x a month and then I can sign up to greet events as well so I can still do something. I am not sure if it’s the right decision but I don’t think I’ll ever be confident either way in making this decision. It’s hard. I wish you the best of luck with what you decide to do!

 

[Kellysharpe]

I have been lucky enough to be able to scale back my hours at work, all things considered I think it has been the right option for me, you dont have to spend all day away but you also keeps one foot in the work world, give you xtra purpose and a break too!

It works financialy for us because we have parents who are willing to have Ruby but I am not sue how it would work if I had to pay for childcare :-/