Giving up

[Angel21]

Hi! Tonight I am seriously considering giving up breast feeding

Bit of background, DS was born on 28th Jan, tried for over 24 hours to feed in hospital, when a MW noticed he was tongue tied. So we started to finger feed. Tongue tie was cut on Monday and things improved for 24 hours, although the latch was never perfect! We started to use a nipple shield given to us by the LC. Got on ok with it between finger feeds, but myself and DS get soaked in milk each time we use it, restricting us to the house! I continued to pump, finger feed and shield feed for a few days. Totally exhausting with each night feed taking 2.5 hours, due to feeding, fussing, crying, wind, poo, and expressing.
The past 48 hours have been shield fed only and I was happy for small progress away from finger feeds. I saw the LC yesterday and she is unsure if DS is ready to latch(?) he remains pretty shocking with sucking, despite his tongue tie being SO much better. She advised use the shield and persevere, because "at least he's breast fed!" I got soaked a few more times with the shield......I decided to roll with it!

DH went out and bought me a beatiful breast feeding cover today but tonight I have become sore and achey all over, feverish and right boob is that engorged I just sat and cried for hours. DS has been extra fussy, we worked put he's hungry, so he had a finger feed so we knew how much he had had. I just sat and cried at 1am Now at 3 I'm say here puffy eyed and he's awake again, hungry. I finger fed him. I'm in so much pain and feel so ill, I think it's mastitis.

I'm on the edge of giving up. I keep thing of all the pros for bottles, DH can help, giving me lie in, I know how much DS is getting, I won't be in agony any more!!! I can get my life back without getting wet with each feed. No more stress while trying to look after my other DS!
Right now I just want to sleep, but have to be up in 2 hours for school run. But I'm so upset that I have failed DS! As his mummy I should rectify the problem, not give up.
I fear for my health.....

 

[Angel21]

....and right now he's not settling in bed because he's full of bum wind, Andy episiotomy scar is so sore

 

[annio84]

Oh you poor thing. Firstly, if you move on to bottles it's not a failure, it sounds like you really have tried.

It does sound like you might have mastitis. I'm not an expert on that - i'm sure someone else will be much better placed to help but as I understand it you need to make sure the breast is drained of milk, take some paracetamol and try to look after yourself properly - so eat, drink plenty of water and try to sleep.

As for the feeding issue, have you thought of trying combi feeding? Either bottles of expressed milk or some formula? I know this is quite controversial and a lot of people will say not to do it this early but it can work - a friend of mine has done it with both her LOs and never had a problem with them taking the breast. Another option might be to give expressed milk only, but this isn't neccesarily easier than BF. Obviously if you choose to go solely onto formula that's fine too and nothing at all to feel bad about, I'm just making these other suggestions because it sounds like you don't want to stop trying.

Whatever you decide you should be proud to have tried so hard, because any amount of breast feeding is beneficial. And just keep in mind that the most important thing is that you are doing what is best for your family - happy mum is a happy baby.

 

[CandyDay]

You probably have mastitis. After your LO feeds you might want to pump so that you drain your breasts.
I would try feeding without the shield and see how LO does. He may just have to get used to it and I think its worth trying for a day or two before you give up. You could take a bath with your Lo so you are both relaxed and try feeding there. Try laying in bed with LO just before he would be hungry and see if he can get himself latched with minimal help from you.
And you have not failed no matter what happens

 

[Kelskiii]

You have not failed! My LO has had one/two formula bottles & an expressed bottle a day since a week old due to weight loss & poor weight gain (which we are still battling). Every baby/mother is different you need to do what's right for you & your baby.

Have you had LO weighed yet to check weight gain?

My friend breastfed her baby successfully for 6months using a nipple shield as her nipples were flat & baby could not latch. Without it she would not of been able to give her baby her milk.

As long as your baby is getting some of your milk you are succeeding with breastfeeding, if you feel like you need to add the odd formula/expressed bottle don't feel bad!! I did at first but the way I see it is my lo is getting some of my milk rather than none!!

I hope you're feeling a bit better after last night & have gotten some more sleep. It's hard to decide what you want to do on no sleep!!

 

[Perplexed]

Hey, I have some advice for the getting soaked bit. I use shields also but it doesn't happen much. I place a small towel or a slightly larger burp cloth on my lap to catch any stains. Also laid a receiving blanket or a muslin cloth on top of a pillow (under LO), these 3 methods all work. I think it only happens when LO is sleepily comfort sucking and not actually drinking. When she's hungry and aware nothing gets wet at all. But this is just my own theory. And it hasn't happened much recently.

Nothing is wrong with combi feeding or full formula feeding. You have to do what's best for your situation. But try not to make the decision when you're under a lot is stress just to ensure that you've made the right one.

 

[kung_pao mama]

I'm so sorry. I gave in and bottlefed earlier than you, you are a trooper! We expressed mostly and also fed formula a bit during the first 2-3 weeks. I did feel like i was permanently attached to the pump, which is no fun. But a couple of weeks in, like magic, we just figured it out. Never had issues with tongue tie, but my son didn't latch well and was too sleepy to eat most of the time. Bottles were just easier.

Keep trying. Introducing a bottle early did not make it difficult for us to breastfeed. In fact, he MUCH prefers the breast now. I am actually having trouble getting him to take the bottle back now that i am back at work.

I suggest you Pump often and give him bottles. It may seem like it takes an eternity to pump what you need, but that will definitely get better once your body gets used to the pump. At the beginning, i often had to pump for 20-30 minutes to get 2 oz. Now, I pump 5-6 in less than 15.

I hope that when your little guy gets bigger and you've both got a little more practice, BFing comes easier for you like it did for us. Best wishes, mama.

 

[Angel21]

Thanks for all of your encouragement

It's 5am again, been up since 3, on our second feed during those 2 hours. Still on the breast, still with a shield
Turns out I do have mastitis, I felt terrible yesterday, and I'm still having hot and cold flushes, achey all over, with a big red patch on my boob!

I got the bottles out yesterday morning, but they remained wrapped and were put away by mid afternoon!
DH did the school run and took DS round his sisters yesterday morning, with some expressed milk, I stayed in bed and slept right through till 2:30 Then I went to the Dr, I've got antibiotics.
DS had 2, 3ml top ups of formula, finger fed yesterday, but he brought them both back up! So it looks like he doesn't want to tolerate formula at this point anyway.
He has decided for me, I will persist......

 

[Angel21]

I should have said 30ml....

 

[Perplexed]

My brother who is a few yrs younger than me was ebf for a year and it was his choice not mom's. Back then they always encouraged women to use formula because "bf wasnt enough" but he wouldn't have any of it. She tried with all different kinds of formula and he insisted that he didn't want it! It was probably a mixture of not liking the taste and not taking a bottle. So till now mom says how it was his choice. I find that cute and thought id share when you said your ds decided.

Good luck.

 

[merristems]

Just want to say well done on persisting. My lo really had trouble in the beginning with latch. No tongue tie. We pumped and also top ups of formula for two months. It was tough. But one day she dropped formula top ups. Refused them or was very sick. By then my supply was sorted and she was coping a lot better with latching. I took us both a lot of patience but we reached six months this week!

I'm glad you got antibiotics sounds pretty bad fx things get easier xx