Going bankrupt :(

[bluecathy1978]

Myself and my husband are having to petition for bankruptcy after christmas which is totally freaking me out!

We have had debt problems for over 5 years now and we sold our house (at a loss) and moved into social housing 12 months after privately renting.
We were in debt management plan but, for the second time, my husband stopped paying it and decided not to tell me until I started receiving letters!

I have been absolutely furious with him as it will be me left at home to deal with debt collectors coming to the door and I am also currently 37 weeks pregnant. The stress is killing me on top of everything else.

We should have gone bankrupt 5 years ago as the debt management plan would have never been paid off, it was estimated at 45 years lol but it costs so much to pay to go bankrupt, £705 each (slightly less as I am currently not working) but I have managed to save the money and have organised all the meetings and sorted out all the paperwork.

Just feel infuruated with my husband as it feels as if he is just sticking his head in the sand about it all and it has been left for me to deal with!

We need to open a new basic bank account before we go bankrupt but I am making sure it is a joint one so that I can keep an eye on what is being paid and make sure we dont get into debt again.

Everybody thinks he is Mr Nice Guy but they know nothing and just think I am the nagging wife. Some days I just want to throw him out!!!

 

[misspriss]

DH and I just filed, we were not behind but we could see that we could no longer meet our obligations and did not want to go into collection and get harassed, so we just went for it. Just got our discharge in the mail. We are still struggling to meet our existing obligations (we kept house, car, and the secured debt on our home repairs) but at least it is manageable now.

I don't know how things work in the UK, but here it is not the end of the world and it can be a great relief. We would be probably losing the house by now if we had not filed when we did, we were living off savings and windfalls which are log gone now.

I wish you the best! It cost us just under $1,000, but we got to pay a lot of it in monthly payments.

 

[mum140381]

i am i owe about 50 grand we 2 sold our house and now in renting i am just saving up the 700.00
we have 7 children as well
try not to worry it will all get sorted out x

 

[george83]

I'm not in the same financial position as yourself so can't completely relate but I do have a husband who reacts to his debt problems in an identical way. It's his behaviour that frustrates me more than him getting into debt. His debts could have been paid off fairly quickly but by ignoring it we are looking at years and years to clear them. I Also have the same feeling that his friends and family see me as miserable and nagging but they don't have a clue.

Massive hugs to you sweetie, your doing a great job x x x

 

[pansorie]

Bankruptcy isn't the end of the world, although it certainly feels like it. It's just a matter of getting over the stigma of having to do it. I don't know how it is in the UK, but in the U.S. people who file for bankruptcy generally have better credit than before they filed.
Just approach it for what it is: A financial decision, nothing more, nothing less.
As for your hubby, you and he need to get on the same page, or something like this may happen again! Have you two made plans on what to do to prevent this from happening again?

 

[BunNtheOven]

DH and I just filed, we were not behind but we could see that we could no longer meet our obligations and did not want to go into collection and get harassed, so we just went for it. Just got our discharge in the mail. We are still struggling to meet our existing obligations (we kept house, car, and the secured debt on our home repairs) but at least it is manageable now.

I don't know how things work in the UK, but here it is not the end of the world and it can be a great relief. We would be probably losing the house by now if we had not filed when we did, we were living off savings and windfalls which are log gone now.

I wish you the best! It cost us just under $1,000, but we got to pay a lot of it in monthly payments.

I'm in the US too. i really am considering this. Problem after problem, I'm considering doing the Bankruptcy thing to just start over. I don't think I'll be able to do my bills after I go out on unpaid maternity leave. I can't even save..I've tried. I saved, and something stupid happens. I don't eat out, don't pay crazy things or go on trips. Hell, I get my hair cut once a year. I just want to start over. Where did you go to start it out, a bankruptcy lawyer? I'm also worried because of my car. I don't want them to take it away, it is paid off, thank god. And I need my car for work ( I live in the country, no transportation for this area otherwise). Maybe I should claim the bankruptcy AFTER i go out on leave? I'm not behind yet, but I'm only paying minimums on everything and still struggle, but I will be behind during maternity leave! Just want to be able to breathe. I recently also transferred to a location for my work closer to my home, but had to take a pay cut (my job was severely stressing me out). (from 16.35 an hour to 14.13 an hour) I hope most of it comes back with me in gas savings, etc.

 

[misspriss]

DH and I just filed, we were not behind but we could see that we could no longer meet our obligations and did not want to go into collection and get harassed, so we just went for it. Just got our discharge in the mail. We are still struggling to meet our existing obligations (we kept house, car, and the secured debt on our home repairs) but at least it is manageable now.

I don't know how things work in the UK, but here it is not the end of the world and it can be a great relief. We would be probably losing the house by now if we had not filed when we did, we were living off savings and windfalls which are log gone now.

I wish you the best! It cost us just under $1,000, but we got to pay a lot of it in monthly payments.

I'm in the US too. i really am considering this. Problem after problem, I'm considering doing the Bankruptcy thing to just start over. I don't think I'll be able to do my bills after I go out on unpaid maternity leave. I can't even save..I've tried. I saved, and something stupid happens. I don't eat out, don't pay crazy things or go on trips. Hell, I get my hair cut once a year. I just want to start over. Where did you go to start it out, a bankruptcy lawyer? I'm also worried because of my car. I don't want them to take it away, it is paid off, thank god. And I need my car for work ( I live in the country, no transportation for this area otherwise). Maybe I should claim the bankruptcy AFTER i go out on leave? I'm not behind yet, but I'm only paying minimums on everything and still struggle, but I will be behind during maternity leave! Just want to be able to breathe. I recently also transferred to a location for my work closer to my home, but had to take a pay cut (my job was severely stressing me out). (from 16.35 an hour to 14.13 an hour) I hope most of it comes back with me in gas savings, etc.

We did research online then went to a bankruptcy lawyer. I will admit I probably knew more about it because I took a class that included bankruptcy in grad school (yeah, I hold a graduate degree and DH has a bachelors, and we still had to file bankruptcy). We were able to exempt our house and car, of course we still owed. I'm pretty sure you can exempt some things though, although I don't have the specific numbers.

We didn't get behind, but we could see we would be in a matter of a month or two if we didn't file, so we just did it. TBH, we still struggle and live paycheck to paycheck even after bankruptcy. Our mortgage went up a bit, we still have to pay for obamacare (which is outrageous), still have the car and insurance, and we did have one credit card we had to keep or have our HVAC system repo'd. So we would definitely be losing things if we didn't. I think we were kidding ourselves for a long time. We were using savings, gifts, tax refunds, bonuses, etc. We would pay the minimums on everything and have no money left so we had to charge groceries and necessities on credit, thus getting nowhere - or actually moving backwards.

 

[BunNtheOven]

DH and I just filed, we were not behind but we could see that we could no longer meet our obligations and did not want to go into collection and get harassed, so we just went for it. Just got our discharge in the mail. We are still struggling to meet our existing obligations (we kept house, car, and the secured debt on our home repairs) but at least it is manageable now.

I don't know how things work in the UK, but here it is not the end of the world and it can be a great relief. We would be probably losing the house by now if we had not filed when we did, we were living off savings and windfalls which are log gone now.

I wish you the best! It cost us just under $1,000, but we got to pay a lot of it in monthly payments.

I'm in the US too. i really am considering this. Problem after problem, I'm considering doing the Bankruptcy thing to just start over. I don't think I'll be able to do my bills after I go out on unpaid maternity leave. I can't even save..I've tried. I saved, and something stupid happens. I don't eat out, don't pay crazy things or go on trips. Hell, I get my hair cut once a year. I just want to start over. Where did you go to start it out, a bankruptcy lawyer? I'm also worried because of my car. I don't want them to take it away, it is paid off, thank god. And I need my car for work ( I live in the country, no transportation for this area otherwise). Maybe I should claim the bankruptcy AFTER i go out on leave? I'm not behind yet, but I'm only paying minimums on everything and still struggle, but I will be behind during maternity leave! Just want to be able to breathe. I recently also transferred to a location for my work closer to my home, but had to take a pay cut (my job was severely stressing me out). (from 16.35 an hour to 14.13 an hour) I hope most of it comes back with me in gas savings, etc.

We did research online then went to a bankruptcy lawyer. I will admit I probably knew more about it because I took a class that included bankruptcy in grad school (yeah, I hold a graduate degree and DH has a bachelors, and we still had to file bankruptcy). We were able to exempt our house and car, of course we still owed. I'm pretty sure you can exempt some things though, although I don't have the specific numbers.

We didn't get behind, but we could see we would be in a matter of a month or two if we didn't file, so we just did it. TBH, we still struggle and live paycheck to paycheck even after bankruptcy. Our mortgage went up a bit, we still have to pay for obamacare (which is outrageous), still have the car and insurance, and we did have one credit card we had to keep or have our HVAC system repo'd. So we would definitely be losing things if we didn't. I think we were kidding ourselves for a long time. We were using savings, gifts, tax refunds, bonuses, etc. We would pay the minimums on everything and have no money left so we had to charge groceries and necessities on credit, thus getting nowhere - or actually moving backwards.

I'm definitely living paycheck to paycheck right now, but it's mainly because of paying my minimums on my credit cards. I don't think I would have this problem if I didnt' have them. Obamacare is outrageous. I thankfully have the state insurance right now!