Going crazy

Mrs Doddy

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:wacko: please girls I need some advice, am pregnant again after a mmc in July 09, we found out at our scan at 12 weeks and saw our tiny lifeless baby :cry: im really happy that im pregnant again and am suffering with all the worries that I know are normal after a loss but im going to churn myself up with worry if I don't stop. My problem is I don't know how to stop....... I was awake from 3-5am this morning worrying about work stuff and the pregnancy, I am happy for a while then my thoughts keep telling me to be careful about getting excited , what if it happens again, how can I go through another mc, will I ever hold my baby in my arms and be a mum. How will I know that something is wrong if there is no bleeding:shrug:

Ive often given others advice and say take each day as it comes and look to something to look forward to ie mw appointment, then the scan etc etc, but now im in that position its not that easy.

Ive taken my mc off my signiture to try and just focus on this baby and to try and stop thinking about it now as there is nothing I can do about it, ive tried to stay calm and be happy (but it doesn't last for long) ive tried going out with H and enjoying ourselves but always my thoughts turn back to "what ifs" I am well aware that the risk of mc is no greater than before just because I have had a mc, but the risks are the same 1-4 is still a high risk.

My scan is in 6 weeks - how am i going to stay calm and happy till then ????:wacko:
 
Hun, how about starting a journal, record how you feel each day, perhaps make it a must to write down at least 3 positive things every day.

It's so hard I know.

Hope that's of some help xx
 
Tbh, you are probably not going to be and thats okay!:hugs: Just get on here and rant all your want, let out all the fear, there isnt much out you can do, but at least it will be an outlet instead of keeping it all inside. Sometimes I think we try too hard to stop ourselves from feeling things that are normal and very understandable and it only makes it worse in there end, we beat ourselves up all over again over it. I think thats a positive step concentrating on the bubs you have now, just dont try and take it all on at once, do it a day at a time and fall to pieces when you need too!:hugs:
 
Hun, how about starting a journal, record how you feel each day, perhaps make it a must to write down at least 3 positive things every day.

It's so hard I know.

Hope that's of some help xx

I have a journal on the ttc section still, will try the 3 things tho thanks :flower:
 
Mrs Doddy, know how you feel, in the same boat, but the time will pass, eventually, just try to rest when you can. I also find reading trashy novels / watching trashy TV helpful distraction at night!

Have you thought about getting an early scan? Then there will be less weeks to wait until the 12 week one. They cost about £75 where I am in London, so may well be cheaper elsewhere. I am lucky to be having them on the NHS as have had recurrent m/c, and found it really helpful to see a little heartbeat at 6 weeks, now a week or so to go til my 8-week scan, and this makes the waiting more manageable.
 
Darling, I could have written that post myself. :hugs:

All the advice in the world doesn't stop that feeling inside, that churning fear. Sadly, our pregnancy gloss has gone, and whatever happens we will not get it back. We have seen how much it hurts to experience loss, and when you have a fall that great it is terrifying to think you may be setting yourself up again.

I am the wrong person to give you the PMA chat (you read my journal!) and I have sat in tears, I have longed for some reassurance. A scan will only tell you so much. What you need to accept in your heart is this is a different pregnancy, the path is not set out in front of us. We have every single fibre as much chance of this being our time as anyone else. Yes, those odds are not wonderful, but at three to one you would put a bet on it hey? :hugs:

It is hard, and the only way I cope is through little milestones. The entire pregnancy is too scary - too daunting. Focus on making targets, making your midwife appointment, making your first scan, making a certain date. I honestly didn't expect to get to my first doctors appointment when I was 4weeks, but slowly and gently we are hear at nearly 9. With less that three weeks until the big scary scan.

You will cope darling, and you have lots of friend here when you are not to keep you afloat. I hope this doesn't all sound so negative - I just want to let you know it's okay to be scared, it's okay to ask for support. My PM box is always open if you need a chat.

With love,
:hugs:
 

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