Grr another boy

[dinidani]

Is it just me I'm happy of having another child but it's another boy I got so happy at first because I so hoped it was a girl did any off you feel like this it makes me sad as I see all theese people having girls and no one repet no one that I know has a boy I feel like a failure as I got so happy at the thought of this could be a girl but not how do you pick your self up as I have a 6 month old son and it just makes me cry thinking its another boy and I can't do as much Girly things with a boy my oh ain't making it much easyeir by saying we will keep trying but I don't want to be pregnant for the rest of my life as oh doesn't understand how much it means to me to have a little girl he wanted a girl too but he no longer cares any help please cxxx

 

[iluvmyfamily]

Did you enjoy your son when he was first born? Do you enjoy him now? I'm sure you do, so keep in mind that when your new son is born you'll be able to do all those fun things again. I have two girls and two boys and now I'm having another girl. I never wanted boys. I'm being brutally honest. When my mom or my mom's friend or my bff made a big deal about how "cute" and "sweet" and "nice" it was to have a boy, I'd just look at them like they had 20 heads on their shoulders. I seriously DID NOT want a boy. When I found out my 4th pregnancy (3rd was a MC) was a boy, I was just like ..ohhhhh...great...I was happy for DH because he did want a son but seeing everyone happy for him and congratulated him, it made me feel jealous and angry. I didn't want no boys!! And then something changed...I had my second son (previous pregnancy) and I am over the moon with him. Not saying I don't love my first son because I do, but I'm just saying the fact I have two boys now is like.....I can't explain it honestly. I'm happy this baby is a girl because I seriously wanted my previous to be my last baby boy. He's very special to me because of the things we have gone through together.

Right now it's normal to feel the way you do but I'm sure in time it'll wear off like it did for your DH. But if not you know you can always talk to people who have gender disappointment. When I found out this was a girl I was just like ..umm ok...because I guess for me I've been there and done that so many times. But I'm happy she's coming into our lives because it's meant to be. Just like your son is meant to be in your lives too.

 

[Dream.dream]

I'm sorry you didn't get your girl. As for trying until you get a girl, my grandparents had 5 boys in 5 years and finally have up and adopted my aunt because my grandma really wanted a girl.

 

[mummy2be...]

I'm sorry you didn't get the gender you wanted. Try and focus on the fact that you heave a beautiful healthy baby, which some women never get the chance to have even one, let alone two. Your actually very lucky

 

[embeth]

I'm sure the disappointment will fade! I am pregnant with my third and final bub and its a boy! When I first found out I felt disappointed knowing I wil never have a girl but then I look at my two boys and its gone they are perfect and I can't wait for number 3 hope u feel better soon xx

 

[jenniferttc1]

You will feel completely different once bubs are here. 2 boys close in age will be amazing!

 

[Foxy37]

Firstly I am sorry you feel like this xxx
Having 2 small boys together will be much easier and cheaper than having a girl . Practically they will share toys,clothes and a room and as they grow they will have so much in common .
Girls are lovely , I have 2 and a step daughter however they are hormonal from the age of 3 and there tantrums last longer than boys and you can't get round them like you can boys. Think of all these posotives . I'm very much hoping for another boy as I have 1 and 2 step sons xxx

 

[FlowerPotMum]

Just think, 2 handsome, strapping young men in your life, for the rest of your life.
You'll be absolutely fine once you have baby in your arms and plenty of people have two boys and go on to have a girl, and vice versa.
Congratulations on your pregnancy, and you're two little men x

 

[lynnikins]

I had a moment of feeling the same then cried when i found out its baby boy 4 for us, starting to wonder if my DH can have girls, thinking about finding out if i can have him tested for that lol.

there are positives though, will be able to pass down clothes and toys easier and wont need to buy stuff, and since we are broke anyway then its a good thing I dont have to go shopping for lots of stuff.
I want a daughter so bad, i grew up as the 2nd of 4 girls with just 1 brother and never pictured myself with a houseful of boys.

 

[AP]

Sending you massive hugs
You might find some like-minded support here https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/gender-disappointment/

 

[thayet]

Sending you massive hugs
You might find some like-minded support here https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/gender-disappointment/

I asked for access to that forum last week and none of the admins I messaged replied. All well and good to have a gender disappointment forum, but WHY is it so hard to get access to it?

And for the op, you're not alone - we are having a boy too, and I'm devastated. People keep telling me I will get over it, but you know what, I'm starting to doubt it.

 

[Laurenmomma]

I've had major gender disappointment and I don't even know what I'm having!!!

I woke up crying hysterically cos I had a dream the baby was a boy n I just want a girl!
This went after a few weeks when I realised how amazing all children are doesn't matter about the sex! I forgot how adorable and loving ds is x

 

[susan_1981]

I felt a bit like this - I created a thread on it actually https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/p...1859069-does-anyone-else-get-gender-envy.html. I really wanted a girl when I was pregnant with my son but we found out we were having a boy and I was happy that he looked healthy and we knew we'd go on to try for another anyway and I hoped that would be a girl. My husband is 1 of 3, he has an older brother, then a sister and then he is the youngest. So boy girl boy. His brother had boy, girl then boy. So I thought my husband might follow the same pattern. But we're having another boy.

I don't like to say disappointed because I keep saying, how can you be disappointed when your baby is healthy. But I do know what you mean. That night after I found out, I did wake up and think "oh why I can't be having a girl" and I do feel envious of those with girls. But to be honest, there are so many women out there that can't even have children, let alone the sex they prefer. It took me well over 3 years to fall pregnant with my son so I didn't think I'd feel like it. But I did have some envy towards those having girls. But it just means that me and my husband will go for baby number 3 and if that's another boy, then I think that'll be it for me. I'll just be happy with what I have because every baby is a blessing. But I really want a girl to do all the girly things with and to buy the beautiful girly clothes x

 

[Proserpina]

Gender disappointment is normal. You dream of what your baby will be like, and like it or not, sex is a big part of our identity that radically effects how others interact with us. When you find out your baby is not the hoped-for sex, you may go through a grieving process. You are losing that dream of the little girl that you can play ponies with or braid hair with, or that little boy who's going to play with trucks and rough house with other boys, etc.

I have a DD and I'm team for this baby. I have a very mild preference for it to be a boy. I won't have more than three children, and I admit that I will be a little disappointed if all three wind up being girls. I had a dream a few days ago that the baby was a girl, and I was surprised at how disappointed I felt in the dream, because it does not match how I feel in real life. In fact, I'm really sure that I want a second girl; I just want at least one of each sex more.

On the bright side, your son will probably enjoy having a brother if they are close in age more than he will enjoy having a sister. My DD is going to be 7 before this baby is born, and she still prefers for this baby to be a girl over a boy. So someone in my family is going to be very happy regardless of what I'm having.

 

[motherofboys]

I'm having my 4th boy. Being honest I did always want boys and wasn't bothered about having a daughter. After DS3 I was happy with 3 boys but started wanting a girl. It took us 2 and a half years to conceive. I knew I should just be grateful to be pregnant but I kept imagining being told girl at the scan, and on your holiday walking round with my 3 boys and my big bump knowing I was going to have a baby girl, a cute little girl with blonde curly hair (all my boys are blonde and their hair has got curlier with each child) in a little dress. I do sometimes feel I jinxed myself by wanting boys.
Its hard letting go of that, but I'm now (most days) in a place where a baby is a baby and I think "what difference does it really make" the things I want from a girl are not really that practical are they. I mean I say I want the mother daughter relationship but my relationship with my mother is awful, MIL and SIL don't get on either, and my own Mum and Nan didn't have a great relationship. So really I don't even know what I'm missing. I want to buy pretty dresses and girls toy and hair clips. Did I ever want to wear or play with those things? NO! With my influence and the influence of 4 big brothers, if I got a girl next time I'd bet she wouldn't want those things either. I'd get maybe 6 months of dresses and then once she started crawling I'd have to put her in trousers and leggings because it would be too hard to crawl in a skirt and after that she wouldn't want to wear them.
I've just as much chance of having one of my sons (or even all of them) being really close to me and having a great relationship. Wanting to go out and do things with me. My brother would be the one wanting to go shopping with my Mum. If one of them expressed an interest in dance classes I would take them just the same as I was imagining my little girl with her hair tied up fighting in a judo competition along side her brothers.
I have days when I still desperately hope I get a girl next time and I don't want to give up on the dream, and even days when I'm sad I don't get that this time. But I look at my boys, all close in age, all so close and great friends, and excited because they love the idea of another brother and I wonder how I can be upset.

 

[Platinumvague]

I wish I knew how I kept having girls so I could share with you.I want a boy .I did some what sway this time but it didnt work.I'm sorry you didn't get your desired gender.I read a study where they are starting to think some women can't carry a certain gender.We lost our last baby early and I'm 100% it was a boy.I feel like I'm just meant to always have girls.Of course I'm thankful and ecstatic I have two healthy babies,just need some blue in there too