Grrr annoyed......Xmas pressies

[mrso]

First of all I do think that your MIL is being unreasonable about the presents. For the past few years gift cards are all we have asked for. That way you get to choose what you want as a gift and you arent stuck with something you kinda sorta like or maybe never use.

As far as the xbox goes. I personally dont think that game boxes are for children, teenagers, or college aged kids. Before we had children, my husband and I used to play a few games together but mostly he would play on weekends. Once we had our son things changed and obviously so did his priorities. Now he plays his Ps3 like 2-3 times a month and I think that is totally reasonable.

Our son is now old enough to play games so we are thinking of getting a Wii for Chirstmas becasue they have many more children friendly games and I can get a Wii Fit. It is something that our family enjoys doing together as long as it is not abused.

In your situation, I would probably try to stear my husaband towards the computer or a more sensable gift from his mother. I think that is a great idea. And I hate to say it but if my husband were not working... he would not be sitting on his ass playing games. And yes he would be selling the gaming system that was given to him for Christmas. It is all about priorities and needs.

Although it is hard to deny his "wants" he needs to be focused on the "needs" of his family. He needs to talk to his mother about this and if she still insists the sell the stupid thing.

 

[New2Bumps]

I also like buying presents for crimbo but give cash to those who want it unless I find a pressie I know they'd love... at the end of the day I want to give ppl what they want.

We've asked for cash for baby too for Cmas...

Can't your OH ask for baby things or is that not what you need the money for? Is it just for bills and things? Maybe he could have one smaller pressie and SOME cash... really it's his call as it's his parents and I'd expect my hubby to have a serious conversation with his parents in your position... just stating that cash is what he wants etc...

Hope you sort it out x

 

[Duffy]

Honestly I think I would be offended at being pressured into give "certain types of gifts" rather it be money, computer, xbox or whatever LOL. Christmas giving is the choice of the indiviual even if its a gift you don't want and would rather have something else. I was taught that a gift should always be appricated no matter what it is, that no one has to give a gift if they don't want to, so that more of where my view comes from based on how us kids where raised on gift giving, lol.

It sounds like what you want would benfit you much better then an xbox and you have great ideas. I can understand your point of veiw of it being a waste and wanting a computer I do hope you get what you want for Christmas. Lots of luck sweetie.

 

[angie-roo]

Personally I think its your MIL who is being incredibly selfish. Is her son 12? No, hes a grown man with a family on the way... She should be thinking about what his family needs, not games!

Hear hear, what on earth is she doing buying him an over sized game, he's not a child he's about to be a Father! It sounds like she's treating him like a big kid

 

[jenny82]

Well tbh I always tell my mum what I want as I'm extremely fussy. But I always, always make a big fuss out of her so we both get what we want

This year, I'm getting bedroom carpet...oooh so exciting

 

[amandaksj]

Do men ever grow up tho? My Hubbie wants a Wii console, which I don't mind about at all, it's abit of fun, light relief and will be good for us all as a family really.

It is difficult, Christmas is about fun and present giving, regardless of what that maybe, did your OH say you needed the money for bills as that may have put her off of giving cash, although it would be helping you out she probably wants to give something that would be enjoyable and fun over Christmas.

I am really critical of my MIL, sometimes unreasonably so, so I can see your side but have decided recently to cut her some slack, I am sure she doesn't mean to be awkward and does try and help. Sometimes it's easy to get into a vicious circle, with a MIL, and in the end taking everything personally, it's hard when your Mum(like mine)are more laid back and happy to do in the main what we would like.

Good Luck and I hope you get everything you would like this Christmas.

 

[T-Bex]

Right, I am not condoning the actions of the woman, because I think it does sounds unreasonable that she's not co-operating in giving the present you've asked for because of the situation your in. Whilst, yes, it is nice to give a luxury present at Christmas, it sounds like in your situation, it isn't practical. So there is always next year, once things are a bit less tight - perhaps if your MIL still doesn't backdown, remind her of that. It might make her feel guilty?

BUT, games consoles are merely another form of relaxation; exactly the same as sticking the TV on for a bit and catching up with your favourite programme. I love playing on my xbox, and it's not just for 'people who havn't grown up'; that is a really insulting view. Once sprogling is born, I'll still be playing on my console as a way to relax. Yes, it'll be less, but that doesn't mean I won't be playing it. Don't view people who play video games as lazy, because that's not strictly speaking true, and not a nice thing to think. Yes, if people play on their consoles instead of doing to things they need to do, that's wrong - but thats the problem with the person, not the machine and can be applied to however many other hobbies.

I'll hop off my soap box now.

 

[mrso]

Right, I am not condoning the actions of the woman, because I think it does sounds unreasonable that she's not co-operating in giving the present you've asked for because of the situation your in. Whilst, yes, it is nice to give a luxury present at Christmas, it sounds like in your situation, it isn't practical. So there is always next year, once things are a bit less tight - perhaps if your MIL still doesn't backdown, remind her of that. It might make her feel guilty?

BUT, games consoles are merely another form of relaxation; exactly the same as sticking the TV on for a bit and catching up with your favourite programme. I love playing on my xbox, and it's not just for 'people who havn't grown up'; that is a really insulting view. Once sprogling is born, I'll still be playing on my console as a way to relax. Yes, it'll be less, but that doesn't mean I won't be playing it. Don't view people who play video games as lazy, because that's not strictly speaking true, and not a nice thing to think. Yes, if people play on their consoles instead of doing to things they need to do, that's wrong - but thats the problem with the person, not the machine and can be applied to however many other hobbies.

I'll hop off my soap box now.

thank you. I am not lazy and love playing games with my husband. I am 27and he is 31. It is nice to share time with him relaxing

 

[anothersquish]

Bit of a difference between adults playing games for relaxation after work or at weekends and someone who hasnt worked in a year with other, more important, things that he needs for christmas.
Personally I think there is nothing wrong with games consoles, although they are strictly limited in this house to weekends and holidays for short amounts of time (usually 30 minutes) and my OH and son play racing games or the like together. There are times when they are inappropriate, especially when there are dozens of more important things that could be bought, or at least dozens of more constructive things that could be bought.

 

[redpoppy]

I don't think you're being selfish at all but I think your MIL is. If you look at life there are those people who buy presents looking at what the receivers would want and those who think about themselves and what they would like to give as a present.

Also, after the last thread on your OH not having worked for a year, him havign an Xbox seems REALLY REALLY wrong. I would SERIOUSLY suggest you keep it in the box and sealed and sell it. Still boxed you'll get an absolutely great price for it on ebay, DEFINITELY over £100 which will, with your mum's help, get you back in black. You won't get what she paid for it but that's her problem.

As for people defending games consoles, I think its funny actually. Me and OH love our xbox 360 and our games but being ADULTS having a choice between that and getting ourselves out of debt when there's a baby on the way and we're not working, it's really a no brainer.

 

[angeljewel]

I personally don't see why she is being so selfish!! Would she rather see you in debt with an xbox, silly woman!!

My SIL is 12 weeks pregnant and doesn't have much money and doing a house up, so we suggested to her that we would get something for the house or baby if thats what she wants!! It is nice buying luxeries but if people need things then how are luxeries gonna help x

 

[purpledahlia]

I agree, For example, someone who has a job works hard supports his family and wants to play on a game console on the weekends as a relaxation is totally acceptable, but someone who has asked for something they NEED, be it money to get out of debt or a house thing for the new flat, with a baby on the way and no job its much more important. The games console *could* potentially distract him from job searching. As a father to be that should be the most important thing and his mother should support him in that not just get a big expensive gift as a gesture.. im sure that boomerslady and her OH would much much more appreciate help towards the start of their new life in a flat and as parents. Its not about them offending her to say that they dont want the gift, but why cant she help aswell as give a nice gift? and get the games console next year?