Grrr

[terces]

So, I've managed to stay pretty optimistic with this TTC thing. I do really well when others get pregnant. I manage to be happy for them even though I long for a baby of my own. Yes, I got VERY upset when I found out that my friends 14 year old was pregnant. I got over it and even went to her 1st Dr. appt to show support for both my friend her daughter. This ended up being kinda hard on me. I did well that day, but the next day I was really upset.

Today I was feeling kinda moody..ish. My SIL is due to have her 4th baby any day now. Her youngest is 1! Anyways, my husband was talking to his brother via txt and said she was having labor pains. I said some smart remark like "good for them." He said she's in pain to which I responded "well that's part of labor" Then, basically said I don't really care right now. Mean I know, but I didn't even O this month on Clomid, and was just having a bad day. His response to me after I said that it must be nice to be fertile was, "You can't hold that against them!" I wanted to smack him! Rather than say nothing at all he says that! He tried to say something else and I looked at him and said it would be best if he just stopped!

I know it's really nothing, and he really has been really supportive this whole time! I just don't think he understand the emotional stuff! The failure that I feel as a women sometimes and the longing to have a baby.

Ok enough venting!

 

[wonderstars]

Unfortunately I think most husbands are that way. Mine doesn't understand why I get emotional either. He spews some crap about "our journey" and that we don't take the same path as everyone else. Blah blah blah. I keep telling him that's baloney.

Everyone should go the same path (i.e. get pregnant in that year). When you don't go on that same path, I think it's perfectly okay to get upset/mean when someone else has that thing that you don't.

 

[wannabemummyb]

I agree with wonderstars men can be great and supportive but they dont get the emotional side or the empty feeling (thats the best way i can describe it) don't get me wrong, they want a baby, but their want is not the same as ours!

Vent away huni x

 

[terces]

Thanks ladies! My husband is really sweet, he doesn't like to see me hurting, but at the same time he doesn't understand the "little" things that can trigger that pain. We have been talking about going ahead with the adoption process. I'm sure I'm just having some emotional stuff because AF should be showing her head soon, but I totally feel cheated right now. Some punk 14 gets the baby and gets my dream. She gets to become a mother of a baby who will never know his/her father. (If I find out she's having a girl I think that will complete my mental breakdown!) I on the other hand get what she should be getting at this point in her life. NO BABY! I'm just done. I could barely get through our church service today. I hate feeling so angry and hurt and like God doesn't care about me anymore. I know it's all silly and petty, but it's so hard. I know you ladies understand and I'm glad I can vent on here.

 

[Rigi.kun]

That would be hard