Please don't feel guilty. For a start your children will never know any different from always having siblings. Also the very fact you're worried prices you're going out of your way to be there for both. I have 3 children, 13 , 8 and 3 months. Although the large gaps made it easier for me to cope with them all I think I felt the guilt even worse because my son had me for 5 yrs and we're really close. He has ADHD, mild Asperger's syndrome and no relationship with his father (my ex) at all. I felt a huge responsibility to him and when my daughter came along I felt terrible like I'd abandoned him. They were always fine. It affected me more than them. I went through the same worry when my baby daughter - 13 weeks, was born. My eldest daughter was worried, jealous of the attention the new baby attracted and was tearful. This was because baby was another girl and being 8 yrs old was used to being my baby girl for so long. It broke my heart to see her worrying. Now baby is 13 weeks she loves her, is confident of her place again and is excited for when baby talks, walks, loves to be involved with bathing, feeding etc. my point being whether u have kids close together or with a gap you'll always worry about spreading yourself between children and always worry about your own feelings towards this new 'stranger' compared to the children you've already got who u know and have established a relationship with. I was an only child and would have given anything to have siblings. My mother always said she only wanted me and was happy with 1. I think it's all well and good for the parent but chiksren need to grow up alongside other children I strongly believe. My parents tried their best and were great and I wanted for nothing... But I always felt lonely for the company of brothers or sisters, even now I'm jealous of those with siblings as much as they may argue at times. My essay is over lol !!
