Had D&C on Friday

[2yrsandwaiting]

Hey girls, first I really ant to thank all of you for your kind and supporting word on the othe to threads I have. (How to stop crying? and Did you know?)
You really will never know how much it has helped,to know that I'm not alone.

Well I had my D&C on friday, I hardly remember anything. Only what my husband has told me. I know that I was an emotional wreck in the recovery room. And have been pretty much been out of it since then.

Sometimes I feel like I will be ok and other times I just feel empty. And like everything in life is wrong, not just the miscarriage. Has anyone else felt like this? I'm just very short tempered with my DH and my DD, and have kept my office door closed all day. I'm hoping this is all part of greiving, am usually a very emotionally strong person. But I'm finding this hard to deal with, not sure what to do with my feelings. Cry, yell, stare off into space, pretend their not there, curl up on the sofa and not move. But none of those will help, I know this, plus i have to be there for my DD, since she really doesn't understand whats going on.
There is also a part of me that feels like everyone else is like "God, isn't she over it yet?" And that makes me feel guilty for taking time for myself. And no one has said this to me, i just wonder if thats what they are thinking.
Gosh, i have babbled today. Tahnks again!!!

 

[MrsJD]

Sorry to hear about your loss.

Maybe you should take time off work. After my DnC last July I took two weeks off and at the end of it I was ready to return to work.

It's so hard, you feel like you're in a trance and someone else is looking in. I too am a strong person but everyone near to me got the brunt of my temper/emotions.

Time is a healer! If someone said that to me before I'd have shugged it off but for me, time helped.



XXXXX

 

[tillymum]

Hun my heart is breaking for you right now, take each day as it comes, don't have expectations on how you think you should feel, cos you will go through every emotion possible. Don't apologise for how you feel cos you have to work through your emotions and it does take time.

You really should take time off work at least a week if not two.

It was the worst thing I personnally have ever been through, but you do get through it, next month you'll feel alot better than you do now. But you will have up and down days.

Big hug to you hun xxx

 

[Widger]

Really sorry to hear about your loss. I can understand how you feel about feeling empty etc. It will be 3 weeks tomo since my d&c and I can honestly say I feel a lot better. Think that has a lot to do with no pregnancy symptoms anymore too. I hope to get a bfn tonight when I check. It will get better and remember you can babble away on here anytime as you'll get lots of support.

 

[holly81]

Oh hun I'm so sorry to hear all this and I really empathise.

I'm sure no-one expects you to be 'over it' yet - it's only been a few days and you're probably still getting over the shock, let alone starting on the grieving process! I personally think you're so strong to be carrying on like you are - I took the first week after my m/c off work and then my dr signed me of for another 2weeks after that because she worried about stress leading to depression.

I have been a bit grumpy with my OH too and feel really guilty, so it's not just you, but I'm sure they understand deep down. As I said to my OH - think what little old AF does to us ladies, and so imagine what this is like!!

Thinking of you xxx

 

[eswift]

Seems strange to me that DR didn't sign you off automatically? Mine did, I wasn't a work for 2 weeks, went back for a week and DR signed me off for a further 2 weeks. AF was awful, I have quite a physical job and spend much of the time on my own.

Straight after my mmc I wanted no one there as I just cried, when I wasn't crying I was angry and jelous - why me? I couldn't collect my son for school, I tried; but oooh that hurt far too much emotion over load. I'm not by nature jelous or resentful and found it quite hard to accept that I had these emotions to deal with they were so alien to me.

When I did go back, the lads I work with were all very good bless them, they came and kept making sure I knew that they were sorry for my loss and if I needed them to help all I had to was ask. I'd been dreading going back to work as it is mainly male populated environment. I think they needed to talk about it more than me, I'd told no one but 1 boss that I was expecting. But as I don't take much time off they kept asking my Dad (he works at same place) why I was off. He asked me 1st if it was ok to tell them. I was ok with it, rather the truth be known than them make things up.

Sorry think I've gone off the point. I was going to say go see DR and don't worry about all the emotions flooding aound and overwhelming you. Time does help, not sure it totally goes away.. I keep thinking about getting another tatoo, (I've a butterfly already) I'm umming about forget-me-nots under the butterfly.. I was still blubbering at well womans clinic in Jan, thought I was doing well until then.. But nurse said it early days still. It's nearly 6 months now..

 

[2yrsandwaiting]

I think doctors are different inthe US, they don't believe in "time off". Althought i could request time off, but then i'm worried about sitting at home, by myself all day. I think i'm better at work surrounded by people, even though they don't understand, they try. At home i would have to much time on my hands and at work, at least i have other things to think about, plus am in AP (acconuts payable) easy, hardly have to do much thinking.

I'm feeling alittle better today, i keep reading all the wonderful post you ladies have left and i really feel much better.
But i think in a couple weeks i will take some time off, to get my life back in order. i have to say the house work is suffering alot! Which makes life crazy. And DH helps, but its not the same.

 

[SJK]

xx

 

[IHrtSJC]

I am sorry to hear about what you are going through. Having been in your shoes in December I can relate and I feel for you. Everything you are feeling is perfectly normal! For about 2 weeks...from the time I found out something was wrong until about a week after my D&C I was pretty depressed. All I wanted to do was lie in bed and sleep. The only thing that helped me was TIME. Time healed me and hopefully it will for you too. Lots of Hugs and good luck to you!