Has anyone dealt with Bipolar Disorder?

[MommaBear90]

My OH was just diagnosed with Bipolar disorder and although quite a shock, it does make a lot of sense. I'm having a hard time coping as he has been in treatment for the last few months and now after finding this out he'll probably be gone longer. I'm not allowed to see him so the only contact we have are letters written back and forth. I was just wondering if any of you are bipolar or have dealt with someone who is bipolar.

A few questions:

1. Did treatment change you/them or make you/them closer to the person you/they are)

2. After/during treatment, was depression/suicidal tendencies still something to worry about?

3. What were some of the things that helped you/that person cope with the illness?

4. Explain a little more about the illness from a more personal standpoint then just facts on a webpage

5. Did it strain any relationships you had?

Thank you so much

 

[BabyMama89]

Hey Dear


My sister is Bipolar, and has a few other mental illnesses as well. Mostly, they go hand in hand. From what i've seen/been around for my whole life, i can't imagine being in her shoes. I truly can't. She flips from happy to sad to suicidal within moments. It's very sad .. she did go to treatment, and although it did help and it brought her closer to us, i think medication is the key. She never would stay steady on her medicines that controlled her symptoms and thoughts so she never really got a chance to get over the worst of the worst. Although, i think it's like that for everyone and i really feel like even though she was taking her medicines it really didn't change who she was, and the suicidal thoughts and such were still present. it's a disease to her. I kind of have the same outlook, as well because ive been around her and see how badly it affects and controls her life. its very hard to maintain a relationship with her, and i imagine it would be just as bad if not worse with it being a spouse, but i feel as long as you remain supportive and constantly think of his/her condition that you should develop a decent relationship. Although, its very hard to do that and sometimes it gets overwhelming... i wish you the best of luck ... I know exactly how you feel. its hard, hang in there. it'll get better.

xx

 

[BabyMama89]

Also, i wanted to answer your question (or try my best to) about explaining the illness (rather than using a webpage)

bipolar pretty much goes hand in hand with depression, or manic depression.. leading to mania, or even acute psychitzofrenia (spelling).. It affects the mind, and its sort of like someone controlling you/them. Mostly, it's the several different personalities that are the worst part as most people that have bipolar feel crazy. I know they diagnose of levels here in the US i don't know if your in the UK or US, but my sister is Bipolar 2. So it's pretty severe. Anyhow, a person that is living with Bipolar disorder can have multiple personalities.

xx

 

[samsugar7]

In my experience it ruined everything, but things were ruined before the actual diagnosis. The person i was seeing for 6 years slowly went from mild depression to bipolar and became abusive in every way possible.

He had treatment but was still stuck in his abusive ways which he couldnt/wouldnt change so i left but am still weary of him and refuse to let him have any idea of where i am.

My sister also suffers but she drives everyone away by either becoming far to dependant on them or being so effected by every little thing people find her very hard to deal with.

She was advised not to have a relationship but entered into one anyway the relationship ended when she took an overdose because he was 25 mins late to pick her up He was stuck in traffic and didnt want to break the law by using his phone whilst driving.

I know i havent painted a very good picture here but its my experience. I am sure that there are some very good stories out there. I also dont know if this will help you at all??

Im happy to answer any questions if you have any

 

[MommaBear90]

Thank you both for your stories. I just keep thinking that our relationship worked (for the most part) before he was diagnosed so that gives me hope that it will continue to work after he's getting treatment. He has never ever been abusive. Deep down, he's one of the sweetest people I know. He's just hurting and it kills me.

samsugar7, did meds help at all? I was told it could take a lot of time to find the right meds and the dose but does it make any difference?

 

[samsugar7]

samsugar7, did meds help at all? I was told it could take a lot of time to find the right meds and the dose but does it make any difference?

His behaviour continued for 4 years after he started to be medicated (he was medicated for depression before bipolar was diagnosed) I stuck it out because i did love him but i couldnt cope with the abuse any longer. It got to a point where i was afraid of him and thats no basis for a relationship.

xx

 

[angelic_one]

Hey I have no first hand experience of bi-polar myself but I didn't want to read & run, just wanted to say good luck and don't forget there's always support on these forums.

Thank you both for your stories. I just keep thinking that our relationship worked (for the most part) before he was diagnosed so that gives me hope that it will continue to work after he's getting treatment.

I think that's a really sensible approach to be taking.

Good luck! x

 

[eclipse]

I wanted to give a positive story to add for your question. My dad is bipolar, so is my aunt, uncle and great grandfather. My dad's last "episode" where he was hospitalized after an impressive manic run that I won't go into here was when I was 6 weeks old (I'm 35 now). He has been on a form of Lithium ever since, and has went on to be a very successful productive chemical/environmental engineer and manager. My aunt is also med compliant and is a successful physical therapist. My uncle on the other hand....he has always been one to mess with his meds because he was feeling better and it always spins him into a downward spiral. He is currently in a mental/rehab facility. He just can't be compliant.

Some forms of bipolar are more resistant to medication than others. But often, the combo of meds and counseling/assistance makes for a successful outcome and the people that suffer can live happy, healthy, productive lives and have strong families. It is a disease, a chemical imbalance in the brain, not a mental problem.

This part is hard, the first adjustments. I wish you the best, and feel free to PM me if you want. I have more I could add, but I don't want to hijack your thread. Good luck!

 

[Kai]

I'm bipolar.

1. Did treatment change you/them or make you/them closer to the person you/they are)

Treatment has changed me. I'm currently on Lamictal and Abilify, and I feel like, for the first time in my life, I can finally feel something besides low grade anger (the anger felt better than cycling and it was something I could cope with). My OH and I are finally able to not fight everyday (we both have issues aside from the bipolar, it just helped) and have been stable for the first time in a long time.

2. After/during treatment, was depression/suicidal tendencies still something to worry about?

The suicidal tenancies/thoughts should lessen, if not stop completely. If on medications, increased suicidal thoughts can indicate a medication issue. Lots of bipolar meds come with warnings of this.

3. What were some of the things that helped you/that person cope with the illness?

Therapy, open communication, and understanding.

4. Explain a little more about the illness from a more personal standpoint then just facts on a webpage

It's NOT a terminal diagnoses. Just because somebody is bipolar does NOT mean that they are crazy. It's a missing brain chemical that can be managed. Being bipolar is hard enough without the stigma surrounding it. Ignore every movie you have ever seen with it in it.

Cycling is hard and as time passes, both of you will learn triggers and signs and from there, learn to cope. It is not easy for either party, nor is it an excuse to become violent. A psychotic break is possible for some people- I have had them.

Bipolar sufferers NEED to be aware they have a problem. That's the only way you can get help. It is hard for some people to realize that it's a lifetime thing and will go off meds when they feel "good". If this happens, drag their butt to their psych.

5. Did it strain any relationships you had?

Yes, but like any issue in a relationship, it's a learning process. Both parties have to be aware and open for the relationship to work. It's good you're looking into it- it's not an easy mental illness to cope with on either side. There are support groups available for bipolar sufferers' partners and this could prove helpful. It won't be easy, meds can need refinement and in that period of time it can be grueling for both parties.

I hope everything works out for you guys, if you have more questions, feel free to ask.