Eve, it's very scary at first and it takes a while to get to grips with what happened
I think I went back to A&E four times in the following few months. They were very nice and checked me over each time. Apparently, it is very common to be anxious about it happening again. Also, there is of course the risk although when you are properly anticoagulated it is rare to suffer another clot.
I was very weak and short of breath at first and often got dizzy due to low blood pressure. I felt very slow and my concentration was terrible! I could barely make myself a cup of tea without being out of breath and I struggled with stairs.
I was signed off for four weeks and then went back to work but in retrospect I should probably have discussed a partial return as I really struggled physically when I went back, even though I was mostly sat at my desk
Things did gradually improve, though, and I became less anxious with time. I got married four months after my diagnosis (multiple bilateral pulmonary emboli) and that distracted me a lot!
I am sorry to read that your are so upset but in a way I think it is good that you are dealing with it head on. I was very blase at the time and it only dawned on me later in what danger I had been (I was misdiagnosed for a long time). I guess that explains why I kept going back to A&E... It took me a long time to deal with what had happened.
There are things you can do to help. If you have a DVT I can definitely recommend getting the right stockings prescribed and fitted. Research suggest that wearing them for two years significantly reduces the risk of a further dvt and also long term damage such as with post thrombotic syndrome. There are some pretty ones available, although they are pricey. Thank goodness Christmas is coming up
There is a wonderful charity called Lifeblood: The Thrombosis Charity, which you can connect with. They have a facebook presence, too, where a lot of younger people chat and give each other advice. Equally, there is a facebook group called pulmonary embolism survivors, which is very supportive. Just don't let the one or two extreme cases of recurrent clots scare you as those are very rare!
I like to think of my mother who suffered a dvt 33 years ago after giving birth. She now takes precautions and has not suffered another clot since. Even though she has a clotting gene (as do I).
In my case I was diagnosed five years ago. Since then I have had seven surgeries, am on my eighth pregnancy and have made four transatlantic journeys. I always take precautions and have not had a reoccurence.
Unfortunately, I cannot comment on your pain. I was lucky in that my lung clots were painless. My leg was a bit uncomfortable but more because it was swollen behind the knee and I couldn't bend it.
I did find it easier to sleep propped up with several pillows. Lying flat made breathing harder.
I hope you start to feel better soon. Both physically and emotionally! It can take a while to recover but you should find moving around easier soon. Don't let your help go, though. Keep them for as long as possible!