Has anyone set a feeding routine?

[chocolate]

Hiya, at the brink of giving up so am thinking to try a few different options before giving up. Im sure my baby is just snacking taking a few ounces at a time, then getting cranky before doing the same again a couple of hours later and then feeds properly in the night.
I wonder if some of it is that Im miss-reading his cues, that he is probably tired rather than hungry but will have a snack as I offer it to him.
Im thinking of trying to get a 3 hour thing going, obviously if he starts screaming the house down after 2 and a half hours or whatever then Ill figure he is hungry.
I expressed today and he seemed starving but took 2 oz's out of the bottle, refused the last ounce and then reluctantly fed again from me for a couple of minutes a little while later. He fights it, and then all of a sudden, wham, he takes a good breastfeed! I just feel Im not in tune to my babies needs anymore in the day and something has to give to keep all our sanity.

Has trying to stick to a 3 hour routine worked for anyone? I know they say go on demand, but Im struggling to know what he is demanding for anymore

 

[kaylz]

Yes, I stick to a rough routine. I wont feed unless at least 2 1/2 hours has passed since the previous feed, and never feed this frequently more than once per day as a general rule (obviously if he's screaming and obviously hungry, I will not let him starve!). Our schedule involves feeds at 7am/11am/2pm/5pm/6.20pm if he wakes up at 7am and 6.30am/10am/1pm/4pm/6.10pm if he wakes at 6am. He sleeps through most nights now.

I find he can only manage 2 hours awake time at the most, and more usually 1 3/4 hours so if he wakes, has fed and roughly this time has passed since his last sleep, I put him down for a nap and find it's usually tiredness that's been making him cry (although his naps are short - 45 mins usually)

Hope this helps

 

[sazza]

Hiya Chocolate,

I had exactly the same issue with Lewis. I was mis-reading him, as a lot of the time he was tired and fighting naps. That, together with having Colic, it was hard to read exactly why he was crying at times. Over the past week or so, I've got him feeding every three hours or so. Although, sometimes he can't manage it - and more often than not, he feeds every 2hrs 45mins! He tends to feed better this way, instead of 'snacking'. I keep a wee note of when I feed him too - that way it's easier to see what's been happening, and any changes. x x

 

[minties]

I highly recommend 2 books, "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer" and "The Baby Whisperer solves all your problems" by Tracy Hogg. They are fantastic and have a lot of problems with solutions, schedule help, baby's language (body and noise) and how to interpret it.

These books helped me so much, in the space of a week I went from not knowing how to read Thomas's signals, having to rock and feed him to sleep and all sorts of other issues - to him now being a lot happier, he falls asleep all by himself, sleeps an 8 hour stretch at night, and he's just such an easy baby.

I used to misread his tired signals all the time and end up feeding him when he was sleepy, or trying to force him to go to sleep when he was hungry, and he was not happy.

 

[A3my]

Its never been something I wanted to do but my sister breastfeeds her son 3 hourly in the day and its worked really well for them. She had the same issues and felt somedays it was an endless cycle of him crying, her trying to feed him, him getting more distressed with wind, then vomitting etc. My sister is quite a structured person in general and she also likes the fact she can organise her life around feed times. I hope you find a way that works for you xxx

 

[chocolate]

Well this morning I decided to try and read him better and he started grumbling at 720 and I offerred him a feed but insstantly refused so I didnt try again, then just now he started fussing so I gave him a cuddle and he kept trying to push away from me, I think he thinks he will get a breast shoved in his face lol, but I rocked him and he went to sleep, so thats 2 episodes where Id usually try to feed him, gone.

I have the baby whisperer books, I must re-read them as it worked great in the early weeks but something must have changed or Ive lost the touch. From now on though I think I will try sleeps at fussing, then a feed if he doesn't go and cries.

Last night he fed 2 hourly and from each breast so I think its day and night feeds mixed up

 

[Blah11]

I don't really advise it. Babys don't have a big stomach AT ALL so they need to feed little and often since BM is easily digested. I think it CAN be a dangerous thing if I'm being honest. If your baby is hungry then he's hungry. Sometimes I am hungry inbetween meals so need a snack

 

[chocolate]

I don't really advise it. Babys don't have a big stomach AT ALL so they need to feed little and often since BM is easily digested. I think it CAN be a dangerous thing if I'm being honest. If your baby is hungry then he's hungry. Sometimes I am hungry inbetween meals so need a snack

But then if you snack too much you dont take a proper meal - and with breastfeeding if they just snack they are mainly going to get the thirst quenching milk and not the fatty milk which will result in poor weight gain and not feeling satisfied, which is why I think he is so grumpy. Of course if he shows obvious signs of wanting a feed or even just a drink thats fine, but Im sure half the time in the day Im confusing the signs. Im happy to feed him on demand through the night as he does only wake for a feed so I know exactly what he is asking for, and he feeds easily.
We will see what happens today and how it effects his weight gain

 

[mygirl]

i think you are right to try something different, feeding on demand is fine as long as thats what he is actually demanding for. give it a go, but one thing to consider is maybe he is going through a growspurt and just needs a bit more? if he still feels hungry he will let you know.

 

[Blah11]

I don't really advise it. Babys don't have a big stomach AT ALL so they need to feed little and often since BM is easily digested. I think it CAN be a dangerous thing if I'm being honest. If your baby is hungry then he's hungry. Sometimes I am hungry inbetween meals so need a snack

But then if you snack too much you dont take a proper meal - and with breastfeeding if they just snack they are mainly going to get the thirst quenching milk and not the fatty milk which will result in poor weight gain and not feeling satisfied, which is why I think he is so grumpy. Of course if he shows obvious signs of wanting a feed or even just a drink thats fine, but Im sure half the time in the day Im confusing the signs. Im happy to feed him on demand through the night as he does only wake for a feed so I know exactly what he is asking for, and he feeds easily.
We will see what happens today and how it effects his weight gain

Not entirely true. If your baby is feeding lots, they'll be getting hindmilk. We only make one type of milk, its just that the fat and watery bit seperates the longer the time between feeds. If you feed every hour or 2, theres not enough time for the milk to seperate.

theres a website that desribes it like a tap.

when you turn on the hot water tap it takes awhile to get gradually hot. If you put the tap off and on again a few mins later, it takes less time to heat up. if you leave it for a few hours, it takes awhile to get hot again. Think of hindmilk as hot water and foremilk as cold water.

 

[ayh78]

My son used to snack and fall asleep at the breast. I used the baby whisperer's routine (loosely) and fed him on waking. I also tried to get him to take a full feed (at least 20 mintues based on what I knew he was capable of). That seems to have sorted him. I now know why he's crying, if he's fed, changed, been played with and it's been 90-120 minutes since he woke, then he's tired; if he's just woken up, he's hungry. Because of this, I can tell the difference between those two types of crying for when he's stayed awake too long and is both hungry and tired!
Good luck!

 

[lynnikins]

my boys have both been big babies and both fed no more frequently than 2 hours since birth with ds1 he was on expressed milk in the SCBU and was fed 3 hourly from day one and that carried on with BF when we could and didnt change till he went onto FF,
ds2 started 2 hourly but moved to 2 1/2 hourly by a couple of weeks old and is currently about 4 hourly but thats a recent thing till christmas it was bang on 3 hourly he would ask for his feed, I too fed on waking up then change and playtime then bed to avoid feeeding to sleep and it worked well for me, right now EJ has just woken and wants boob so i am off to get him lol

 

[chocolate]

Well so far he seems a bit happier, he went 4 hours earlier refusing a feed and then when he did feed he only fed for 2 minutes! Trying Infacol for a week to see if that helps as he gets a lot of wind, he did then feed about 2 hours later and seemed to feed easier and for a bit longer with less fussing so Im happy that today he has had at least one good feed so far. He also had a much longer am sleep so maybe thats also why he is happier

 

[kaylz]

As someone else said. feeding 'on demand' only works if they are demanding food. I made my LO ill when he was younger by feeding him when I thought he was demanding food when in actual fact he was tired or just bored, rather than hungry (he had colic-type symptoms, reflux and green poos from snacking on too much foremilk at every feed). You are right to trust your instincts and try to stretch feeds out a little more if thats what you feel he needs.

And no-one is suggesting that you feed your LO strictly to a timetable as someone else implied. Obviously you feed them when they are genuinely hungry and that can vary from day to day. But there's a big difference between that and offering the breast every time baby cries, which I have seen many people do. I've found it gets easier as they get older and take bigger feeds less often. I'm pleased he's improving

 

[chocolate]

Thanks for all the replies, Im reading through Kellymom at the moment which is such a great help, makes me realise Im not failing my baby and by thinking that my breasts feel empty is actually a good thing. And he will still get the fatty milk even if he does feed closely together as someone on here pointed out about the cold/hot tap theory.

Battling on anyway, I really want to exclusively breastfeed, it would take a lot to get over not being able to.

I was worried earlier as I fed DS at 430pm and then expressed at 630pm but could only get out 3 oz's between both breasts, then when he seemed hungry I put him straight to the breasts he got frustrated as if there was no milk there so did think maybe I hand an ounce and a half in each breast. So maybe feeding often and little will help supply, but Im going to try him for naps first if Im not sure what he wants and go from there