Has anyone went private with the birth?

[subaru555]

Would be interested to hear your experiences

 

[lozzy21]

I would hire an independent midwife if we had the money

 

[subaru555]

how come?

 

[doggylover]

Private, but still hospital led? My brother is an doctor and said that if you still attend a hospital, you are being treated by the same people who treat every woman in labour - there arent 'special' consultants and midwives for private patients, its just whoever is on that day. Obviously if you go to a special, private, unit or private hospital, things will be different, but if you still attend a 'regular' NHS hospital, there is apparently no benefit.

 

[subaru555]

Difference is you can pay to have a consultant at the birth, and a dedicated midwife from early labour and have your partner overnight with you in a bed. Think it would completely change the birth experience.

Was really looking to hear peoples experiences that have gone down this route.

 

[doggylover]

But to have your partner stay you would need a private room, or need to be in a private hospital anyway. Many people go private and pay for private antenatal care, but still end up in the normal nhs hospital receiving the same care. Even if you do have a consultant at the birth, it will just be whoever is on call at that time. And there will always be a consultant available (or should be in a decent hospital) if they are needed.

 

[subaru555]

yes that's correct, a private room, hence private birth experience question with consultant at birth, for the duration of the birth and not when needed.

 

[doggylover]

I was only saying what the "Norm" is for people in the UK going private. And your initial question asked about "going private" which is what I supplied information for.

My point is as follows and is still valid...

* if you end up giving birth in an NHS hospital (even in a private room) as most people do after "going private" you will see whatever midwives and consultants are on call at that time. They cannot guarantee you that the consultant will stay the whole time (and frankly, a consultant will have better things to do than sit around watching your contractions) as there is not a good ratio of doctors to patients. If you end up in an NHS hospital, you will not have a special consultant just for you.

The only way to guarantee the sort of care you want is a private hospital or unit, not a private room in an NHS hospital.

I'm sorry if I haven't provided information you wish to hear,but it clearly answers your question, and as my brother is a doctor in an labour ward, and has explained this all to me now I am pregnant, I think that my answer is informative.

 

[nimbec]

Hi I totally second what doggylover has said. We have many family close friends who are consultants on labour wards in the uk and it happens exactly as doggylover says. So i agree the only way would be to go to a private hospital/unit which i'm not sure is possible in the uk. There are midwiffery led units but because of nature of birth if you need a doctor you will also need the faciloties of the main nhs hospitals for both you and your new baby.

I know why your asking and have thought the same myself as i know the nhs can be very inpersonal but to be honest it looks like we really don't have a choice

Hope you find a way to have the birth you want.

 

[cupcake23]

Places like the Portland and Chelsea & Westminster provide private care, you can go down the route of midwifery care or consultant led care, what you are really paying for is one to one care and nicer facilities, this is not NHS care so you will be attended by a known midwife/ Dr just like if you we're paying for an independent midwife- you are paying that they make themselves available to you.

I agree with doggylover that you could pay for private antenatal care but when you go into a NHS hospital your treatment will be exactly the same as if you hadn't of paid for your AN care. Some hospitals do allow partners to stay the night, this is something new though and there have always been amenity rooms if you would like the privacy following your delivery.

I've seen independent midwives come and support their women during labour but they cannot be actively looking after them due to registration/ insurance reasons so you could always hire a independant midwife and still use NHS services in this way.

 

[anita665]

I don't know how much help this is but I had a normal NHS hospital birth with my first and ended up on the ward. It was ok but I hated being around so many other people. I felt watched and judged and panicked when my baby cried. I just couldn't relax. Of course DH was sent home too.

Then I was in again a week later after a bleed and given my own room which I was in for a week. Still DH didn't stay with me but the room made a huge difference to how comfortable I felt. I didn't worry so much about DS crying and it keeping people awake. I could shower and go to the loo without having to ask someone to watch DS. It would pay for the room again if I had to but the care... I don't feel it would have made any difference.

 

[ukgirl23]

I had both my children in Norway, we pay for our deliveries there so they have family rooms which you can pay for, but when I had my son I was put into NICU because I didn't deliver him until 3 days afters my waters broke, then I was put in a room with someone else, I have to admit that I did enjoy the private family room much more than a shared room, however the staff were completely the same, infact the same midwife delivered both my babies. It does depend really on who is on call that day/night you give birth. You don't get your own midwife or consultant, only if you are high risk. Then still you get the person on call. At the end of it all you are in hospital for a short time anyway so it doesn't really make sense to pay for something everyone else is getting for free. Unless you're high risk or have a severe phobia :/ but I have social/emetaphobia and managed to stick it out in nicu for 3 days sharing a room

 

[dizz]

My mum offered to find the money to pay for me to go private if I wanted (previous delivery such an utter train wreck that I'm still incredibly traumatised by it and how I was treated).. in our case I refused as it was mainly the post-natal stuff that screwed my head up - and if the same circumstances arise again, they'd still ship me straight back off into the NHS system anyway.

Depending on staffing levels one of our hospitals does a patient hotel with the facility for partners to stay - but it's regularly closed due to lack of staff.

 

[subaru555]

Just a short summary:

• I was induced and then contracting intensely on the ward in a room with 4 other women and just a curtain round me.

• They asked my Husband to leave when I was in agony.

• They couldn't get me any pain relief because there was no one available.

• They couldn'y run me a bath for an hour because there was no one available.

• They couldn't help my Husband lift me out the bath because there was no one avaiable.

• When my Husband got me onto the floor naked, rolling around screaming in agony, there was no-one to help me for over half an hour lying there wrapped in wet towels, becuase there was no one available and no space in delivery.

• My Husband got a wheelchair and lifted me, wrapped in wet towels, onto the wheelchair and took it in his own hands to run with me down to delivery, where we were met by a delivery midwife running towards us.

Labour issues:

• My Son got stuck, they wanted advice from a Consultant as it was quite bad, but there was no one available.

• They had to deliver him the best they could. I got no skin to skin or even saw my Son, they just took him away. Which I know could happen anywhere.

• I was cleaned up, taken up to the ward and put onto the ward with 3 other women who had their babies with them, crying. I had to sit on my own as OH was asked to leave with no baby, feeling battered and distraught in shock.

• I cried to have him stay, but he wasn't allowed.

• They then moved me to a room, which I got for one night.
  On that night, they forgot to bring me my dinner and when I buzzed to ask, they said they had forgot about me and they were sorry but they had nothing left but I could have some custard.

• I was left in NICU on my own to meet my baby in a wheelchair with no support.

• I finally got to hold him and was given a quick review on how to BF and told it's trial and error and to give it a bash, it didn't work and caused me a lot of distress, but there was no one available to help. Resulting in me not being able to BF my really sick baby.

• Then on discharge we waited 9 hours for a signature that someone had already signed, but none of the MW had checked or realised because no one was available to check.
  

The care might be better in that you are guaranteed the time, attention and expertise of a consultant as opposed to an SHO, registrar, or midwife when you need it, right from the onset of labour.

What I'm saying is, if you need someone, there will be someone available. I'm not saying to be breathing down my neck at the birth.

One on One MW care (and other forms of help: lactation consultants, physiotherapists and nursery nurses)
Food and drugs brought to you as and when you need them
No pressure to be discharged before you are ready
Husbands can stay overnight which helps with recovery and bonding.
Private rooms and bathrooms.

 

[ukgirl23]

have you discussed your issues with your midwife?
Your birth story sounds horrendous and I feel actually very sorry for you having to go through that. You have to know though that because now you are no longer a first time mum, they will be even more hands off, they wont give you much advice as to bathing, changing or feeding your baby and they will probably aim to get you home the same day or following morning. You have to tell your midwife your fears and tell them you are extremely anxious and maybe you should research as to whether or not there is a birthing center in or around your area. Plus different hospitals offer different facilities, in my town we have 2 hospitals, only one of them has a specialist unit who can cope with emergencies, the other is just a straight forward labour suite, so we are told if we choose the straight forward suite and a complication arises we will have to be transferred to the other hospital across town for a c section, forceps etc. Given your background you should look into that and find a birthing center to suit your needs and if you dont have an option then I agree that you should go private. Hope it goes better this time xx

 

[subaru555]

I only stayed in so long because my Son was so ill. I was so shocked at the care I received. So, so shocked.

I was in 5 days.

One night the Sister Midwife came in and looked at my BF, moved my Sons head and he couldn't latch and she said, "Oh you Stupid Boy, oh sorry, that just came out, i mean you silly boy" I can still hear it perfect 2 years on.

The whole thing was a shambles. My Son was too big, they left me too long etc etc...

I haven't been able to revisit the whole thing until now. It's taken me 2 years to talk about it. I now feel ready that I might be strong enough to make a complaint.

My episiotomy is still very sore too, but they say at the hospital that it's completely normal to be sore for the rest of your life.

And to say I was terrified about having a baby is an understatement.

I'm not scared of getting the baby out, I'm just terrified of being left on my own again (with my H), feeling so out of control, and totally traumatised before it even begins properly again.

Was 5 cms when H shouted at the MW's in the staff room that he would "Just do it himself!" and ran with me to delivery.

I also forgot to say that they tried to get an epidural in 4 times and over an hour and it didn't work. - I had 8 people in the room at this point, I still get nerve shooting pains in my back where they tried.

 

[doggylover]

I'm so sorry to hear about what an awful experience you had with your first, I can't imagine how horrific it must have been for you, your husband, or your LO, and having those few first moments with LO taken away must have been devastating.

It's totally understandable that you would be terrified about givng birth again. As UKgirl said you need to speak to your midwife. I would advise you to look for a private hospital if that's what you want, as simply paying for private antenatal care will not guarentee that there will be more people on hand during your delivery this time, as you will most likely end up in an NHS hospital again.

 

[subaru555]

I'm thinking Portland may be an option, would just need to move there to be nearer at the time, for a month.

Only other thing which might be a better option is to have an independent midwife for the continuity of care, which I feel might be more of what I actually need. I think if the care was consistent then the birth would be better and I'd get home quicker.

 

[doggylover]

And you would feel happier as well, which is so important. Talk through your choices with your midwife definitely, and good luck - I hope that this birth goes much more smoothly for you.

 

[subaru555]

Funnily enough just had a phonecall from a IM and after talking to her for over an hour, I feel like birthing at the local hospital won't be so bad if she's there alongside my DH, especially if I can combine it with hypno birthing practised right from the start this time, to get really good at it.