That is really tough. We were raised really differently too. I am the one who has a higher tolerance for mess/discord. I will leave things until the last minute and clean up a mess later rather than sooner. It drives him insane. He absolutely cannot leave something undone. Like your shower curtain rod, that would have been fixed immediately. He might be annoyed that I didn't do something, but he will (in the end) do it. I was raised that if something bothers you, you calmly discuss it with someone and find a solution. He just does it and then gets angry at me. We've worked on that a lot though.
I think part of it is that we both have a really incredible amount of respect for each other. He is a dedicated husband and a work horse. I try to be really patient about the house stuff, because I know he works extremely hard (80+hours a week) and he just wants to come home to something reasonably comfortable. I can't get upset at him when he doesn't do something the way I want, because I know he is working his ass off to take care of me and our impending spawn.
Clearly it's a different situation. I would be annoyed as hell if my husband played video games and didn't clean up after himself.
haha i have relaxed quite a bit on the mess tolerance, but you know what's funny? he is usually the one who gets annoyed if (god forbid) the trash is full and i didnt take it out, or if dishes pile up. but hello? he isnt the one who does dishes and he doesnt pick up after himself, why should he get annoyed?
80 hours a week? good lord! heck, mine doesnt work that much yet he expects the 1950's home life?! his argument/excuse is "i work all week".
you are right, if something bothers you, you can discuss with your partner and find a solution, i agree that would be best, but mine uses his worked all week excuse pretty much for everything.
like i renovated the whole house, he helped maybe 10%, and i asked why wouldn't he help, he said he worked all week so renovation isn't what he wants to do during his time off, plus, i do it so well that he should just let me do it instead of messing it up. hahahahahaha
i normally let it go, i let alot go, but since i become pregnant, these things keep popping up and making me very upset, though i still hold my tongue so i don't seem like the nagging witch, but it eats at me. that's why i posted this thread, maybe having a child does change a man?!