Have I done something wrong?

[stuffymuffy]

So today I hung out with a close friend for the afternoon. He and I went to the mall, had lunch then took a walk in the park, then I went home. Well he has just had a daughter and he and his child's mother were never really together, kind of a fling. He says he never cared for her and although he doesn't regret his daughter he thinks they're "romance" shouldn't have happened. As a soon to be single-mum with an FOB who needs a good slap I feel for her and I've tried talking to him on many occassions to just give it a go for his daughter's sake, but he won't have any of it. He's hinted several times that he wants to be more than friends and since I just broke up with OH and I want some time to myself and I want to focus all of my attention of my LO right now, kwim? Well anyway after I got home I received this lovely IM

"im not trying to start prblems but why u gotta lie to ppl i know you hungut with m**** today he told me. i dnt undrstand why you insist to b all over him it none of ur business whether we are or aint together. seriously find your own baby daddy and stop tryng to steal mine"

Just to give you a taste of things she was saying to me, that was the only one that is censored enough to post on here.

I replied with this and asked her to please leave me alone as I didn't feel that it was necessary that she talked to me like that.

"I'm sorry you're upset that I hung out with him. I didn't mean to hurt you nor am I trying to find "a baby daddy". I get that it bothers you that we talk, whether or not you believe my situation him I know what it feels like to have someone else be with someone be with the one you want. But we hung out as just friends today. I know you probably don't believe it but I am sorry that it upset you."


Since my FOB and I aren't on good terms at all and frankly he's a complete arse, he's flaunted his new girlfriends in my face since we broke up, and although it's hurt me that he's with someone else I've kept my mouth shut and done my best to move on (except for a brief moment of insanity when his new girly was saying that I was in fact not pregnant and just had a tumor of sorts and I flashed her my obviously pregnant belly but I later apologized to her ) So it would really bother me to think that I was hurting some other girl the way I had been hurt. Have I done something wrong? It's honestly been bother me all night, I was very hurt and resentful for what he put me through and I wouldn't want to be a part of doing that to someone else.

 

[Katumz]

It doesn't sound like you have done anything wrong to me, it seems as if she just heard the situation and jumped to conclusions (I know alll bout that) but if you have explained yourself in a polite way (as you clearly have) then I really don't see anything wrong with hanging out with a friend as just friends.

 

[Leah_xx]

you havent done anything wrong
if he is a close friend of yours arent you allowed to hang out with him?

 

[newmommy23]

no thats definitely her over reacting. you haven't done anything wrong and you responded perfectly. although the guy may have felt your "hang out" was more than that kwim?

 

[stuffymuffy]

you havent done anything wrong
if he is a close friend of yours arent you allowed to hang out with him?

I think he's told her that he likes me more than just close friends. I've never been friends with her, we've been at the same school forever and not to say anything mean about her but she's always been one of those girls who likes to start drama and I do by best to stay away from that, so I wish I knew her a bit better and could help ease the situation as nothing I'm saying is pacifying her and she didn't listen to my request for her to leave me alone.

 

[Bride2Be]

You've done totally nothing wrong You didn't even need to give her an explanation of anything.

 

[stuffymuffy]

no thats definitely her over reacting. you haven't done anything wrong and you responded perfectly. although the guy may have felt your "hang out" was more than that kwim?

Thank you, I've been where she is so I tried to be as sensitive as I could. Yeah I think he did. We made plans to take his daughter to the park tomorrow and it's his week to have the baby and Idk if I want to go through with it

 

[newmommy23]

no thats definitely her over reacting. you haven't done anything wrong and you responded perfectly. although the guy may have felt your "hang out" was more than that kwim?

Thank you, I've been where she is so I tried to be as sensitive as I could. Yeah I think he did. We made plans to take his daughter to the park tomorrow and it's his week to have the baby and Idk if I want to go through with it

you should probably talk to him and tell him things can't be like how he wants them to be between you. it's obviously going to get worse if he's rubbing you in this girl's face like you're a willing participant in some relationship you're not in! you don't need the stress momma bear.

 

[stuffymuffy]

no thats definitely her over reacting. you haven't done anything wrong and you responded perfectly. although the guy may have felt your "hang out" was more than that kwim?

Thank you, I've been where she is so I tried to be as sensitive as I could. Yeah I think he did. We made plans to take his daughter to the park tomorrow and it's his week to have the baby and Idk if I want to go through with it

you should probably talk to him and tell him things can't be like how he wants them to be between you. it's obviously going to get worse if he's rubbing you in this girl's face like you're a willing participant in some relationship you're not in! you don't need the stress momma bear.

I've tried telling him that I really don't want a relationship right now and I'm not sure that I feel the same for him that he does for me and that we both are dealing with a lot right now. He's accepted it so Idk why he had to tell her that he felt that way when he knew it would upset her and I asked him about it and he said he was hoping that she would take the hint and move on. Which wasn't the most sensitive thing to say, but he's a guy ya know I really didn't want the stress either. I'm trying to be as polite as I can to her but she's really crossed the line when she started saying things about my LO

 

[newmommy23]

no thats definitely her over reacting. you haven't done anything wrong and you responded perfectly. although the guy may have felt your "hang out" was more than that kwim?

Thank you, I've been where she is so I tried to be as sensitive as I could. Yeah I think he did. We made plans to take his daughter to the park tomorrow and it's his week to have the baby and Idk if I want to go through with it

you should probably talk to him and tell him things can't be like how he wants them to be between you. it's obviously going to get worse if he's rubbing you in this girl's face like you're a willing participant in some relationship you're not in! you don't need the stress momma bear.

I've tried telling him that I really don't want a relationship right now and I'm not sure that I feel the same for him that he does for me and that we both are dealing with a lot right now. He's accepted it so Idk why he had to tell her that he felt that way when he knew it would upset her and I asked him about it and he said he was hoping that she would take the hint and move on. Which wasn't the most sensitive thing to say, but he's a guy ya know I really didn't want the stress either. I'm trying to be as polite as I can to her but she's really crossed the line when she started saying things about my LO

ugh yeah. bringing your LO into it is NOT cool. But at the same time it's pretty uncool for him to use you as a pawn to get a girl off his back....you're just stuck in the middle, not doing anything wrong and getting dragged around for it! maybe just avoid the whole situation for awhile?

 

[daisy74]

It sounds innocent to me,Congrats on your baby

 

[stuffymuffy]

no thats definitely her over reacting. you haven't done anything wrong and you responded perfectly. although the guy may have felt your "hang out" was more than that kwim?

Thank you, I've been where she is so I tried to be as sensitive as I could. Yeah I think he did. We made plans to take his daughter to the park tomorrow and it's his week to have the baby and Idk if I want to go through with it

you should probably talk to him and tell him things can't be like how he wants them to be between you. it's obviously going to get worse if he's rubbing you in this girl's face like you're a willing participant in some relationship you're not in! you don't need the stress momma bear.

I've tried telling him that I really don't want a relationship right now and I'm not sure that I feel the same for him that he does for me and that we both are dealing with a lot right now. He's accepted it so Idk why he had to tell her that he felt that way when he knew it would upset her and I asked him about it and he said he was hoping that she would take the hint and move on. Which wasn't the most sensitive thing to say, but he's a guy ya know I really didn't want the stress either. I'm trying to be as polite as I can to her but she's really crossed the line when she started saying things about my LO

ugh yeah. bringing your LO into it is NOT cool. But at the same time it's pretty uncool for him to use you as a pawn to get a girl off his back....you're just stuck in the middle, not doing anything wrong and getting dragged around for it! maybe just avoid the whole situation for awhile?

Yeah definitely NOT okay Very true, didn't see it as him using me but it makes a lot of sense Ughhh I hate this drama soooo much! I think you're staying for a bit sounds like a good idea

 

[Sophiiie]

It doesn't sound like you've done anything wrong at all, sounds like you're just stuck in the middle of two people that don't know what the hell they want try not to let it get to you... xx

 

[Eabha'sMum]

awh you don't need that stress... don't become to involved, it is their mess, you don't need that.
xx

 

[ablacketer]

you flashed your belly at her? oh that is incredibly awesome! good for you!

I would slow down your visits with your friend. another visit to take his girl to the park would "appear" to him like a family type thing. do you have anyone else you can hang out with?

 

[Leah_xx]

you havent done anything wrong
if he is a close friend of yours arent you allowed to hang out with him?

I think he's told her that he likes me more than just close friends. I've never been friends with her, we've been at the same school forever and not to say anything mean about her but she's always been one of those girls who likes to start drama and I do by best to stay away from that, so I wish I knew her a bit better and could help ease the situation as nothing I'm saying is pacifying her and she didn't listen to my request for her to leave me alone.

well if she doesnt listen and the not leaving you alone doesnt cease and/or gets worst then i would take legal action.
I was in a situation where the girl tho i was doing things with her boyfriend. she wouldnt leave me alone, called me and even stalked me a few times.
so i called the police and had to get a restraining order against her

 

[stuffymuffy]

you flashed your belly at her? oh that is incredibly awesome! good for you!

I would slow down your visits with your friend. another visit to take his girl to the park would "appear" to him like a family type thing. do you have anyone else you can hang out with?

Yeah I did I honestly don't know what came over me, I'm not like that at all! But I had just had several people come and tell me that she had been telling everyone that I simply had a "tumor" and I found her just after school ended and well showed her my "tumor" . But I did apologize to her after!
And him and I had ANOTHER talk last night and he seems to know we're just friends but really wants to still hang out as many of his friends have in sorts abandoned him and they don't do things that can accomadate his daughter, but I think we need at least a week or two off.

 

[Tanara]

You have dont nothing wrong even if you two decided to be more than friends. Shes obviously a phyco like my OHs ex. There is nothing you can do she will never be alright with you two being anything. Just ignore her honestly. And if shes honestly sending you messages like that, tell her to act more like a mother. Cusing out people and talking like that is not motherly IMO

 

[stuffymuffy]

You have dont nothing wrong even if you two decided to be more than friends. Shes obviously a phyco like my OHs ex. There is nothing you can do she will never be alright with you two being anything. Just ignore her honestly. And if shes honestly sending you messages like that, tell her to act more like a mother. Cusing out people and talking like that is not motherly IMO

I honestly don't know how I feel about him right now, it sounds silly but what makes him "attractive" to me is how good of a father he is... My ex-OH (not FOB) has a child too and the drama with his child's mother is one of the main reasons that we're not together so I really don't want to go through all that again.
If your OH's ex is anything like her than she is definitely a little psycho lol She really hasn't matured at all since having her daughter and she's one of the teen moms who give the rest of us a bad reputation

 

[rainbows_x]

Ypu've done absolutely nothing wrong hun!
It sounds like she has over-reacted TBH, just ignore her.
x