Have to unload this

[MommyJogger]

I'm absolutely dreading the birth of this baby. Not because we won't love him regardless, but because it will mean I won't be able to live in the "waiting time" anymore where I can believe that he won't actually be born with DS. We decided against the amnio, simply because of the mc risk involved and we weren't going to abort if it came back positive. Our quad screen and our MaterniT21 came back positive. I just don't want the pregnancy to end. It's so easy to meet his needs while he's still inside, but I'm dreading the birth because we still don't know how severe it will be and I don't think I'm the kind of person who's actually capable of meeting the needs of a disabled child. I just don't have the emotional resources; I'm going to damage him somehow by not being emotionally sufficient.

 

[kgriffin]

I can imagine you aren't alone in feeling this way, lots of moms have this worry - my bet is that you will do just fine. Keep your head up

 

[HBGirl]

Big hugs. What helped me was this quote "you don't know how strong you are until strong is your only choice".

I felt exactly the same as you, I was petrified to meet her because then I couldn't protect her. I promise you one thing, soon you won't be able to imagine your life without him.

 

[Blue12]

I hope this doesn't sound weird but in your post I can feel how much you already love him. I haven't been in your shoes but like someone else said we rise to challenges and soon don't remember life before that. I'm sure it will be hard at first but your love is so strong already.

Hugs.

 

[annanouska]

like you said you don't know how affected baby will be yet. There will be challenges, there will be plenty of low times but also so many positive times. My son is not downs, he is being assessed for ASD. He is pretty feral, had huge meltdowns if other children were near him. We attend a special needs play group, all the children there have downs but us. I owe so so much of his progress to those children. I've never met a group of such fun and loving toddlers and young children ever. Every week he has been greeted as a long lost relative by them, no prejudice or shunning him when he acts out. Little by little he's improved so much and honestly I can't thank the children and their parents enough.

Some of the children are much more poorly than the others but even then I've seen my son who will hit and bite pretty much everyone, doesn't share, doesn't talk go and sit next to a child taking them a soft toy and stoking their arm

Im sorry ive gone on about my little guy but I was trying to show how much you and your child have to give, no matter what. There is a wonderful network of people out there who will help you on your journey xxx

 

[mummy2o]

I know how you feel. I was dreading the birth of my daughter due to genetic autism in my family and I was scared on how to raise two children with ASD, she's already showing similar signs to how DS was. But for now, its not been to bad. Also children with DS aren't that bad. A few go to mainstream school, so are more advanced than my son. When my son was 3 we went to toddler swimming lessons and the girl could do makaton and was toilet trained and my son had no interest in anything. We also live in a village and every Tuesday the young man with DS goes to the local town and goes to a group there all by himself. He and my son are best friends despite the 13 year age gap between the two of them. They kinda look out for each other and help the other. If it was any other 20 year old showing interest in my 7 year old of course I wouldn't let them be friends, but they're great. Also children are all different and yours might only have a mild case and be able to go to mainstream school, and get a job etc, heck some are even actors. Having a disability doesn't really hinder you now days, but you'll find you'll love them no matter what.

 

[happybeany]

I'm absolutely dreading the birth of this baby. Not because we won't love him regardless, but because it will mean I won't be able to live in the "waiting time" anymore where I can believe that he won't actually be born with DS. We decided against the amnio, simply because of the mc risk involved and we weren't going to abort if it came back positive. Our quad screen and our MaterniT21 came back positive. I just don't want the pregnancy to end. It's so easy to meet his needs while he's still inside, but I'm dreading the birth because we still don't know how severe it will be and I don't think I'm the kind of person who's actually capable of meeting the needs of a disabled child. I just don't have the emotional resources; I'm going to damage him somehow by not being emotionally sufficient.

Oh sweetheart xx i didn't know my baby would have cerebral palsy. I think I would have felt the same way as you - its the unknown. Its totally new and terrifying, on top of having to go through new baby time again, you have this diagnosis hanging over your head.

I was so worried when we were told my son has cerebral palsy at 18 months - i was ill at home so couldn't get to the paediatric appointment, my husband took him and called me the minute they were out. I broke down. I was terrified that i would only see that diagnosis when i looked at him, terrfified it would change how i am with him, how on earth was i meant to bring up a child with cerebral palsy?! I knew nothing about it! I had all these things whirling around that i had to learn, this whole new outlook on EVERYTHING. New therapies, so many new people... Its overwhelming.

Please try to trust me when i say that the diagnosis will not change how you feel about your new baby. When you have that perfect little dot in your arms, you will start realising it doesn't change love. You'll learn to read your baby like any other baby, stick up for them like only a special needs mama can, you'll find a whole new world of special needs support suddenly opens up for you and the absolute outpouring of love from special needs parents is just amazing. You won't just see a diagnosis, i promise. It will be your new baby that you love with every fibre of your being.

Its so hard to convey through words what I'm trying to say to you, ive never written my feelings down in this way before - i hope you understand xxx

 

[Marianne_Jame]

Hi MommyJogger! You are strong. You will make it.
Everyone would be having doubts on your place. You will be a great parent just because you are taking time to post here!

 

[sequeena]

Thinking of you. You will find that strength. It's in all of us. It will be very hard but there will be great days and those days mean everything.