Having a depressing day.

[anita665]

Yesterday I had a lovely day out with my mum shopping for baby stuff. Then I went to my sisters and picked up the pram she'd bought for us. It was so exciting as it was the first proper day of baby shopping I've done. I kept thinking how I couldn't wait for baby to finally be here.

Now today I'm feeling really down and depressed. Some of you will know from my previous posts that at my 20 week scan a soft marker for Downs Syndrome was found. I was reasurred that the odds are still very small and it's probably nothing to worry about. They're so unconcerned that I'm not allowed an amnio or even a follow up scan.

Most days I feel fine about this and think there is nothing to worry about because lots of people have this marker and have normal, healthy babies which is why they're considering whether mothers-to-be should even be told if this is seen on their scan unless there are other markers but then for some reason I have some days where I wake up and can't stop worrying, thinking many people have ONLY this soft marker and age and triple test results on their side and go on to have a baby with Downs Syndrome.

I especially seem to feel more worried and depressed after a day of feeling really good and excited about things. I'm so scared I'm bulding up my hopes and looking forward to the future with my little boy which just won't be possible. I know many people won't agree with my decision but if he does have Downs Syndrome myself and my partner have agreed we won't keep him because my partner really feels he couldn't cope & I know I couldn't deal with it alone. So we think it would be the best thing for him in that situation even though it will be completely heart breaking.

I don't know who to talk to about it. I've already spoken to a midwife, my GP and a consultant who all say the same thing - that the chances are slim so try not to worry. My OH hates to talk about it. He's sure baby will be fine and doesn't want to even think about it so if I want to talk about my worries he gets angry at me for thinking about it.

I know if it happens I'm going to feel like I've let everyone down. All my family and OH's family who are really looking forward to having a new member of the family around & he means so much to them all, OH as he's so thrilled about having a son & so proud & most of all the baby. I'm only 22 (23 when he's due) & this just shouldn't be happening.

Sorry for the long, mmiserable post. Really needed to get this off my chest.

 

[littlechicken]

awwww bless.

i really hope everything goes ok with you and bump! everything crossed baby will be ok!

 

[Linzi]

I can understand why you feel upset hun. No one wants there to be anything 'wrong' with their baby.

The thing about downs syndrome is that people with it can go on to have very healthy, happy, normal lives. They can go to normal schools, get normal jobs... it just depends on your outlook on the situation. People with it are usually happier too. It doesn't have to be a disaster.

I hope I dont sound patronising or anything, I really dont mean to. I can completely understand where you're coming from because I know if I was in your situation I would feel exactly the same. If you love your baby then nothing else will matter once its born, I promise you

Theres loads of support groups and stuff too, so it might be worth looking for one in your area if you feel you're struggling.

I really hope everything works out for you hun, and again, I hope you dont think Im being patronising or anything, coz I really dont mean to be!

xxx

 

[elles28]

I have to say I agree with Linzi...I think you will love your little one no matter what & that he will always be 100% perfect to you. sending you lots of hope you feel better as the day goes on xx

 

[Ellianna]

Heya hun
First just wanted to say that I'm so sorry that you're going through this

I work with disabled children at the moment, quite a few with downs syndrome and honestly they are the most loving, happy kids I know. It's horrible to think anything might be wrong with any of our LO's but like Linzi says, people with it can go on to lead happy, normal lives. I'm sure you will love your LO with all your heart, whatever happens.
I really hope everything is ok for you hun.
xx

 

[Vickie]

I agree with the others, when it comes down to it you will love your LO no matter what.

 

[Tam]

I am so sorry you are going through this......

I am sure whatever happens, your love will win out! I really hope everything works out for you hun! x

 

[cparks1]

First of all I just want to send hugs your way through this stressful time. I know we all imagine our babies to be healthy and we want them to lead normal lives. In my opinion, I think you would love your baby no matter what. I strongly believe that God wouldn't give you something that you couldn't handle. Though if the baby did have Down's, there would be obstacles but love is thicker than water and you and your partner would overcome it because it would be worth it. I totally agree with Linzi on this matter, she put things in a great perspective. I know that you are in that worried state and that a million things must be running through your mind. Try to relax and enjoy your pregnancy and try not to think of the worst. Once you see your baby and hold him for the first time nothing else will matter. More hugs your way.