Having a doubtful time of it.

[Tweeks]

I've been trying to hold it together this week but it's proving more difficult as the week progresses. I had my emergency scan last friday as I had spotting and pain on the right side of my ovary. Transvaginal ultrasound showed that the pregnancy is in my uterus but is only a sac and yolk sac. Doctor estimated that I was 5 weeks plus instead of 6 like I thought. I had blood drawn and my first lot of betas were 16000+ and then on sunday my second was nearly 30000. I'm not sure if that's a good doubling time and I have been researching all week. I've been being sick for the past 4 days but progressively worse over the past 24hrs. I must have been sick at least 19 times since yesterday.

I was trying to feel confident as I haven't had any further spotting since sunday but then I found out my friend who was suppose to be 14 weeks pregnant miscarried her baby this week and it had stopped growing at 6 weeks. Despite this, she was still experiencing nausea and vomiting so I now feel like I can't take any comfort in my symptoms and that when I go for my follow up scan on monday, I'll be told the baby hasn't grown, it's not got a heartbeat and that the sickness and nausea has all been in my head. I'm terrified. I've tried talking to my DH about my feelings but he brushes them off and doesn't think we have anything to worry about. I wish I could feel his confidence but instead I'm torturing myself and the nightmares are unreal.

 

[ashknowsbest]

I know it's all very scary but try to remind yourself that a majority of pregnancies end in healthy happy babies. 15-25% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. You have a better chance of things going well then ending in tragedy. Try to stay positive I know it's really hard though. Didn't want to read and run!

 

[psychochick]

Your betas look really good and it's true that symptoms don't necessarily prove the wellbeing of the baby, but the probabilities are also on your side, and it doesn't seem like you have any bad symptoms like bleeding or cramping so there's no reason to worry as well. I was really freaked out for a long time because of how many MMCs there were before the first scan. When I was at the first ultrasound and they took my blood pressure, my own heartbeat was way up and the doctor kept telling me to relax but I couldn't because I was so nervous. Then even when the baby came up to the monitor, I was still nervous because it's possible that the heartbeat may not be normal or something. It was only after she measured the hb and it was normal, that I really relaxed.

I'm still anxious every time we go for a scan. For my 12 week one, the baby came up but wasn't moving at the moment so I felt like I was holding my breath when the tech measured the heartbeat. I'm anxious when I look at my bump and i feel like it's not growing very much, and other people are already feeling a lot of movement but I'm not etc. I was anxious that my genetic screening numbers were not AS good as I want them to be. Then I started reading about stillborn births and feeling worried about that happening to me. Trust me, there's always something to be anxious about, the important thing is to learn to deal with it. Take it a day at a time, and appreciate what you do have at the moment. After the first ultrasound, I told my husband, no matter what happens later, I'm just glad this bean existed at all and that I was able to meet it. And I've said that with every milestone.

 

[Tweeks]

Thank you for replying. I do try and think positive.

 

[Tweeks]

In my daughters pregnancy I was a bloody wreck. I was hoping that for this one I'd be way more relaxed but it's just not the case at all.

 

[ashknowsbest]

psycho - I feel exactly like you, the worrying never ends it's just a matter of learning how to cope with the stress. I realized that there is nothing I can do to change the outcome except to be healthy but what will be will be. And the worrying is just beginning. We will worry for the rest of our lives now ... Scary!

 

[Jessicahide]

Hello ,

You sound exhausted, i know there is nothing anyone can say to make you feel any better but please try not to torment yourself, have you tried meditation or yoga?! Sending love.

Ps, at this stage scans are wildly unreliable for dates, that is why your dating scan is at 12 weeks.

 

[trying2bamom]

I know how you feel. This is my first and I am a wreck. I am hoping nothing goes wrong, but we have to relax so we wont make something go wrong with out worrying.