Having a nightmare

[teenpregnant]

Hi,

I'm 21 my oh is 22 we got engaged June 2013 on my birthday. We have 2 children a two and half year old and 3 month old.

I'm having a huge sibling problem! My sister is 4 years older than I am, I called to tell her we got engaged and she hung up. It took us a long time to talk again and I thought it was ridiculous she then proceeded to get engaged 6 months later I couldn't have been happier for her congratulated her and we made Christmas all about them.

Fast forward a few months I called her to say we had booked the wedding for 12/12/14 the day before (I didn't call that night as she was out) she said they had booked their wedding that morning for May 2015 I said that's lovely we can plan together and do lots of shopping together! She was cold to me and just said I'd rather do it on my own and hung up. I then received a text saying how dare I not tell her as she never would have done it for 5 months after I apologised and said my reasoning.

Since then she has given me so much grief brought up everything I have ever done wrong to her? Just generally really nasty. The worst thing was she said she lost all respect for me when I was depressed at 15 and overdosed and was in hospital for a month I'm so so hurt and do not understand her. After she said that I said I was done with her then called back and apologised and said we should meet and talk she declined.

I just feel she has ruined our engagement, announcement of the wedding date and I'm worried she will ruin the wedding too.

She says her wedding is much more important to her and she is being overshadowed I don't know what I'm suppose to do about this?

This is more of a rant but at the same time looking for some advise.

Sorry for the long post x

 

[missk1989]

I think you should give her time to grow up and not talk about the wedding for a while. she is obviously jealous that as the older sister she didnt get engaged first. There isnt much else you can do really. Maybe talk to your parents to see if they can talk some sense into her.

 

[zilla]

i can't believe she said that to you!
If I had a sister who had suffered depression and tried to OD, if she made it through to the other side and had so much going for her after everything she had been through - I would be over the moon for her.
You should be bloody proud of yourself for overcoming everything that you have done, I know if I had a sister who was getting engaged after such a rough time I'd be proud of her!

don't let her get you down x

 

[Abz1982]

WOW, sorry but that is a major tantrum she is on!

I am the older sister who got engaged after a younger sibling.....and in fact we chose the SAME date..but as she was financially in a place to get married I just let her. I did have a whine about the date as we chose it for a reason - it was exactly 3 months after my birthday, and 3 months before DD birthday, which is exactly 3 months before OH birthday which is exactly 3 months before mine. She just plucked it out of thin air apparently...but you know what, after a while I thought it was kinda ace we picked the same date.

We now are choosing another after DS was worn as he threw our wee thingy out of plan!


Your sister is basically jealous...there is no other reason, just because you are younger she probably feels its her right as she was born first.

Do you have a relative that can speak sense to her?! Make her realise that each wedding is separate?? 5 months between is still a long time really....she may be scared people will compare the 2, well they would even if it was a year later!

I do think though that maybe don't share too many ideas with her....as if she is in that state of mind, she will probably get more wound up and convince herself that she wanted something you are having and you have stolen her idea.