Having trouble settling my daughter in her cot help

xhannahxbanan

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Well my little girl is nearly 4 months and she sleeps through the night someimes till 11Am but I'm having problems gettng her to settle in her cot. She wAs fine in her Moses basket but she needs me to hug her or put her in bed next to me! I try and settle her for hours in her cot by soothing her but she just gets so worked up. I give her a bath and then feed then bed and read her a story but she seems to be getting more clingy ! I've even woke her up at 7am for a feed instead of letting her wake up at 11 herself and still she won't go down at 7pm she takes about 2 hours of fighting sleep before she falls asleep I'm so tried! I try to keep her awake at 7am after her feed bt she jet won't stay awake at like 8am so I put her in her cot half awake and she went sleep no problem and I don't know what else to do??? I'm puttng her in the cot every time she naps in the day! Xxx
 
At what time do u put her to bed? as she's sleeping until 11 am, her bedtime might be so early for her to self settle. xx

I had the same problem. My LO doesnt like to go to bed early no matter how I try, & he prefers cuddles & kisses on my bed before bedtime as he's usually awake. He wont self settle before 10 pm as he likes to sleep until 11 am next morning. SO putting her to bed at 7 pm is abit early if she likes to sleep until 11am.

Consider the cuddles as part of bedtime routine, & once she's really exhausted & finally ready to sleep, put her in her cot awake to self settle. xx
 
She goes bed at 7.30 and then falls asleep bout 9pm by the time I've managed to do it. I really want to get her in to the rountine of bed at 7.30 then up ealier
 
if she sleeps until 11am, i would try getting here to bed for 10pm-11pm. once shes settled into a routine and settling herself, you should be able to gradually bring forward her bedtime. lucky you being able to lay in till 11 every day! My lo is up at 6.30-7am every day without fail lol. x
 
It sounds like her sleep phase is shifted later than normal. Most babies have a sleep phase of 7-7 or maybe 8-8. But she isn't falling asleep till later and she isn't waking until later in the morning so her sleep phase at the moment might be 9-9 or 10-10.

You say that at the moment she is going to bed at 7.30 but won't fall asleep until about 9. What happens if you put her to bed at 9? Would she be ready to fall asleep easily at that time?

I have worked with older children who have this sleep problem and this is what I would recommend to parents. What I would do is to start by putting her to bed at the time that she is ready to go to sleep, so if she falls asleep easily at 9 or 9.30 then I would start the bedtime routine a half an hour before that and put her to bed just as she is ready to fall asleep. That way she will learn to associate the bedtime routine with falling asleep and it should cut out the difficulties in getting her to settle. (You might find that she still doesn't settle easily at 9.30 and you have to temporarily have an even later bedtime so that she is able to settle easily). You should be really consistent about the bedtime routine and do everything in exactly the same order each night. Then see what time she naturally wakes up at in the morning. I would do this for about a week just to get her into the routine of falling asleep after the bedtime routine.

Then gradually start waking her up a little bit earlier in the mornings. If you straight away try to start waking her up at 7 a.m. it won't work as she will be too drowsy and won't be able to wake up easily. So I would say every couple of days wake her up 15 minutes earlier. So you might find that she falls asleep at 9.30 p.m. and naturally wakes up at 10 a.m. You would start by waking her up at 9.45 a.m., then a couple of days later wake her up at 9.30 a.m. and so on. But keep the bedtime the same at first so that she keeps falling asleep easily at bedtime. Once you have moved the wake-up time forward by about 30 minutes, then I would start moving bedtime forward by 15 minutes every couple of days so she's going to bed at 9.15 p.m., 9 p.m., etc. Keep moving the wake-up time earlier by 15 minutes every couple of days as well.

It is time-consuming but the only way to do it is to do it gradually like this, it won't work if you try to do it suddenly. And you have to change the morning wake-up time first, before you start to change the bedtime. This means that once you have got to the wake up time you want, you will still need to keep moving bedtime forward for another few days because you started moving the morning wake up time first. Hope this makes sense.
 
I have worked with older children who have this sleep problem and this is what I would recommend to parents. What I would do is to start by putting her to bed at the time that she is ready to go to sleep, so if she falls asleep easily at 9 or 9.30 then I would start the bedtime routine a half an hour before that and put her to bed just as she is ready to fall asleep. That way she will learn to associate the bedtime routine with falling asleep and it should cut out the difficulties in getting her to settle. (You might find that she still doesn't settle easily at 9.30 and you have to temporarily have an even later bedtime so that she is able to settle easily). You should be really consistent about the bedtime routine and do everything in exactly the same order each night. Then see what time she naturally wakes up at in the morning. I would do this for about a week just to get her into the routine of falling asleep after the bedtime routine.

Then gradually start waking her up a little bit earlier in the mornings. If you straight away try to start waking her up at 7 a.m. it won't work as she will be too drowsy and won't be able to wake up easily. So I would say every couple of days wake her up 15 minutes earlier. So you might find that she falls asleep at 9.30 p.m. and naturally wakes up at 10 a.m. You would start by waking her up at 9.45 a.m., then a couple of days later wake her up at 9.30 a.m. and so on. But keep the bedtime the same at first so that she keeps falling asleep easily at bedtime. Once you have moved the wake-up time forward by about 30 minutes, then I would start moving bedtime forward by 15 minutes every couple of days so she's going to bed at 9.15 p.m., 9 p.m., etc. Keep moving the wake-up time earlier by 15 minutes every couple of days as well.

It is time-consuming but the only way to do it is to do it gradually like this, it won't work if you try to do it suddenly. And you have to change the morning wake-up time first, before you start to change the bedtime. This means that once you have got to the wake up time you want, you will still need to keep moving bedtime forward for another few days because you started moving the morning wake up time first. Hope this makes sense.

This is what we've been doing for a while now. Omar used to stay up until 1 or 2 am. We were able to shift it to 11 pm, then 10:30 am. Today I woke him at 9:30 am instead of 11 am. He was struggling & didnt want to wake up, But when I opened the blinds & he saw sunlight he started his morning cheers. I'm planning to put him in bed at 10 pm today. It has been going forever , & some nights he wont settle before 11-11:30 pm but it worth a try
 
Thank you I'll try doing that with her. she went to sleep in her cot no problem this mornign for her morning nap
 

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