Cingraa
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Hi all, originally posted this on another part of the site but think it may have been the wrong place - sorry. I just really need to talk, and for you guys to give me your thoughts and opinions as I'm at breaking point.
I'm 31 weeks pregnant with our first baby, and I/we are really excited.
Sprout was an unplanned surprise - her father and I weren't even properly together when we conceived her and had pretty much just started seeing each other at the time but both knew from the off we wanted to have her. We decided that rather than put pressure on things by forcing a relationship it would be better for the three of us to "see how it goes" and just allow our relationship to progress naturally however it would.
That was back in December at 5 weeks. Our relationship since then has become pretty complicated and we've had various highs and lows but have always seemed to come through into a situation where we're both supportive of each other in order to make a stable life for the baby.
A while ago, I asked him if he was interested in meeting other women now and told him that I knew I had no right to tell him what to do as we weren't really together, despite acting for the most part like we were. He was seriously offended and told me he couldn't believe I thought so little of him, adamant that even if we were in no way a couple it would be unfair of him to be intimate with anybody else.
He later told me that our relationship was stressing him as it wasn't anything solid but there was also no way it could be a casual thing anymore and we were stuck in a kind of limbo. Not wanting to put strain things I said that I knew he would be an amazing father no matter what and that for the time being the relationship between us was mostly to serve the purpose of us having support during an unexpected change in our lives. I explained again that there was no real need to force a label onto it which might have later had repercussions for our ability to function as parents together.
I thought we were taking it slow, in effect, and his readiness to question what it was between us confirmed that in my opinion; it seemed we both wanted the same thing but knew the time wasn't right to be putting pressure on ourselves by getting too serious too fast.
But now this.
Last night, while in bed, we were talking about a friend when we got onto the subject of one night stands. Baby's dad revealed to me, quite casually, that he had had a drunken and very public sex session with a woman he met in a club about a month ago. It was like a kick in the chest and all I could think of was how much I needed him out of my house.
He seemed to think nothing was wrong and even questioned at the door why I wouldn't kiss him goodbye, but I couldn't speak. Literally last week he was telling me his priority is to make the baby and me happy, then he tells me he's sleeping with skanks in night clubs.
I want to speak to him about it but I dont know how. Two friends have given me very different advice, one who is just as confused as me and one who says it is essentially self inflicted and that I'm overreacting as it was me who insisted we weren't actually together. But if he really did respect me, relationship or not, surely he wouldn't do this while I was 7 months pregnant with his baby?
I'm absolutely gutted, I was sick as soon as he left and only slept for an hour last night. I haven't even been able to eat today and now I'm feeling guilty on the baby. Am I in the wrong for taking this so badly?
I'm 31 weeks pregnant with our first baby, and I/we are really excited.
Sprout was an unplanned surprise - her father and I weren't even properly together when we conceived her and had pretty much just started seeing each other at the time but both knew from the off we wanted to have her. We decided that rather than put pressure on things by forcing a relationship it would be better for the three of us to "see how it goes" and just allow our relationship to progress naturally however it would.
That was back in December at 5 weeks. Our relationship since then has become pretty complicated and we've had various highs and lows but have always seemed to come through into a situation where we're both supportive of each other in order to make a stable life for the baby.
A while ago, I asked him if he was interested in meeting other women now and told him that I knew I had no right to tell him what to do as we weren't really together, despite acting for the most part like we were. He was seriously offended and told me he couldn't believe I thought so little of him, adamant that even if we were in no way a couple it would be unfair of him to be intimate with anybody else.
He later told me that our relationship was stressing him as it wasn't anything solid but there was also no way it could be a casual thing anymore and we were stuck in a kind of limbo. Not wanting to put strain things I said that I knew he would be an amazing father no matter what and that for the time being the relationship between us was mostly to serve the purpose of us having support during an unexpected change in our lives. I explained again that there was no real need to force a label onto it which might have later had repercussions for our ability to function as parents together.
I thought we were taking it slow, in effect, and his readiness to question what it was between us confirmed that in my opinion; it seemed we both wanted the same thing but knew the time wasn't right to be putting pressure on ourselves by getting too serious too fast.
But now this.
Last night, while in bed, we were talking about a friend when we got onto the subject of one night stands. Baby's dad revealed to me, quite casually, that he had had a drunken and very public sex session with a woman he met in a club about a month ago. It was like a kick in the chest and all I could think of was how much I needed him out of my house.
He seemed to think nothing was wrong and even questioned at the door why I wouldn't kiss him goodbye, but I couldn't speak. Literally last week he was telling me his priority is to make the baby and me happy, then he tells me he's sleeping with skanks in night clubs.
I want to speak to him about it but I dont know how. Two friends have given me very different advice, one who is just as confused as me and one who says it is essentially self inflicted and that I'm overreacting as it was me who insisted we weren't actually together. But if he really did respect me, relationship or not, surely he wouldn't do this while I was 7 months pregnant with his baby?
I'm absolutely gutted, I was sick as soon as he left and only slept for an hour last night. I haven't even been able to eat today and now I'm feeling guilty on the baby. Am I in the wrong for taking this so badly?
Explain why it upset you but dont seem angry just upset because you do have a right to be, you probably feel vulnerable and like you need his support and he hasn't exactly given you it by sleeping with some girl at a nightclub 
what an awful situation. Old fashioned I know but could you write him
