head or heart?

[truly_blessed]

so i turned 40 in dec and had mmc at the end of nov so still trying for #1. my cycles seem to be all over the place and i think i just finished 1 that lasted 17 days.

my heart says just go for it now, time isn't waiting for you.

my head says if you wait until af after 29 march then you get 4k more as i will qualify for full maternity benefits then. it will probably take way longer than first attempt anyway and time has been ticking for a good 5 years now. what to do, what to do. kind of ntnp at the minute cos i just cant force myself to do anything consciously that would prevent. the only solution i have so far is hibernation but i think i might be missed.

 

[beccad]

£4k is a lot of money, well to me it is! I would hang on myself as it's only 6 weeks, but it's a tricky one...

 

[sunshine2010]

I think I would just stick with the NTNP until March, and then go for it! :0)

 

[truly_blessed]

thanks girls. it is a lot of money and not that long to wait. its killing me though.

 

[beccad]

((HUGS)) It's hard isn't it...

 

[mushmouth]

it is so hard, but as you said, 4k IS so much more money, and will make a huge difference!

 

[sunshine2010]

and at least it isn't too long to wait either, and it's a little bit easier on the mind when you're ntnp so if it's meant to be then it'll be!

 

[Amygdala]

Sorry, I really don't want to panic you, but at 40, I'd really not wait for anything once you know you want to. Yeah, 4k is a huge amount of money. But if you had trouble conceiving later on, wouldn't you end up wondering what could have been if you'd started a cycle or two early? I know I would, which is why personally I wouldn't wait. And as you said, chances are you wouldn't conceive straight away anyway.

 

[tommyg]

I assume you are thinking about SMP which is 90% of your salary for the first 6 wks then £123 for the rest of your 9 mths.
Would you quaify for Maternity Allowance which is £123 for the whole 9mths to get the you hve to have worked for 24wks out of the previous 66 up to the week before your baby is due.

Not such a huge diffrence, personally I'd go for it, you might not catch in the first month anyway.

 

[sunshine2010]

Oh yeah, I didnt read the top right... I thought the date was down to personal company maternity pay? Are you talking about the statutory maternity pay?

 

[tasha41]

I would say go for it.. falling pregnant your first month doesn't happen all that often and I wouldn't want to waste time personally.

 

[truly_blessed]

Thanks again ladies.

I keep rereading the policy and it comes down to:

If I get BFP now:

SMP only which says "Statutory Maternity Pay is payable for a period of 39 weeks. It is paid at the rate of 90% of earnings for the first 6 weeks followed by a lower set rate for the remaining 33 weeks"

If I wait until after 29th March it would be:

− 8 weeks full pay (inclusive of Statutory Maternity Pay)
− 18 weeks half pay plus Statutory Maternity Pay (if half pay plus SMP or Maternity Allowance exceeds full pay then half pay will be reduced accordingly) PLUS
− 13 weeks at Statutory Maternity Pay only
Statutory Maternity Pay is paid at the rate of 90% of earnings for the first 6 weeks followed by a lower set rate for the remaining 33 weeks2 *

I take home around £1500 per month so anyone good at maths and understands SMP

 

[truly_blessed]

If I have managed to add things up correctly and understand any of the above it's

£6146 vs £12737 so more than I thought, argggghh

p.s. thanks for your honesty

 

[sunshine2010]

Is that your employer's policy hun?

 

[truly_blessed]

it is sunshine. I've looked at it before and not thought too much of it but now it's only 6 weeks away, I'm taking it a lot more seriusly now. I'm probably only CD6 at the minute now as well (I say probably as last AF lasted only 16 days if it was AF at all) so that's another week or so crossed off the waiting.

 

[sunshine2010]

wow that's a really good maternity pay set up then, definitely worth waiting for, but I would say if you get a BFP before then, then its obviously meant to be or something!

 

[truly_blessed]

I know, I'm a kind of 'it's fate' person anyway most of the time hence the NTNP. I think I've a few more weeks til OV so I can think a bit longer. I have got a CBFM so I'm imagining sitting there in front of it when it says 'peak! peak!' and what I'd do. I suspect it might not say peak again this month so things might be decided for me. I know whatever happens id meant to be at the end of the day.

 

[sunshine2010]

Thats the best way to look at it, fingers crossed it all goes to plan for you :0)

 

[tommyg]

Can I get a job with your company that is a fantastic Maternaty policy?
I'd still be tempted to try but I can fully understand why you'd be tempted to hold off, what a dilema.

 

[truly_blessed]

nhs maternity pay, good isn't it