Heads in a mess..advice would be great!!

[Irishmum]

Ok so heres the deal.....

I found out in early January that I am pregnant. At this point im 31weeks. Due in early september. This childs father was one of my best friends for a very long time who turned into someone I don't recognise when I told him that I am pregnant. He became quiet agressive and refused to even discuss any options other than abortian. Which is something that i am unwilling to subject my body/emotions to. When he realised it wasnt something I'd do he told me he wanted nothing to do with me or this child. There was an awful lot of name calling and threats which followed.

Now even though I am young, i have a good job, a loving supportive family and a good head on my shoulders. After a week of carrying this child I knew i was ready for the sacrafices having it would entail.... the sacrifice of giving it up would be too much. But here's my question......

When I actually HAVE my baby..... should i contact the father to let him know? He hasn't contacted me since i was 2 months pregnant and I just don't know what the best way to handle this would be. I will not be seeking maintanance from him and his name will not be going near the birth cert!

Any suggestions or advice would be great. Thanks

 

[ellasmummy]

Didnt want to read and run. If you dont him to see baby or anything then maybe it isnt a good idea to let him know as this may make him want to visit and stuff. But i dont know if its a bit cruel not to let him know his child has arrived and all is well or not etc. I think it just depends if you want him involved or not. Hope this helps xx

 

[demonmadcat]

tricky one..

If you don't want him to have anything to do with LO, then IMO it's best not to tell him.. If you feel you may want him to contribute in the future, then best to tell him, but make it clear from the start you don't want him anywhere near...

In the end, the choice is yours hun...

Em

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

first of all what is is problem?? god men can be so horrible sometimes

um my advice is to let him know when your lil one is born. becuase at least then you have done your bit in letting him know his child has been born. then that gives him the choice whether he want to be a man and stand up to his responsibilities as a father or be stupid aznd ignore you lil one excists. but then at least he cant turn round and use the excuse he didnt know LO had been born later on. you would have done your bit so he cant complain.
xx

 

[Irishmum]

Oh! I would also like to add that in my last correspondance with him I let him know that all was well with the baby and when my due date was. I told him to do with the information what he wished.... he didn't respond. Don't know if it makes a difference but he does know when the baby is due.

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

Oh! I would also like to add that in my last correspondance with him I let him know that all was well with the baby and when my due date was. I told him to do with the information what he wished.... he didn't respond. Don't know if it makes a difference but he does know when the baby is due.

Well then if he knows when baby is due i think he should contact you and see how things are going. its not your problem if he dosent
xx

 

[acv_17]

While he should be there, I think since you gave him all of the info, it's up to him. You did what you could. It's not like you're hiding the pregnancy.

You could not tell him anything until after the baby's born, if you don't want him there during labor, so it doesn't stress you out too much.

Good luck! And remember, if he chooses not to be there, it's his loss.

 

[nikky0907]

It's up to him.You did your best.
Time to focus on your little one now and simply let it all go.
There is only so much you can do....

 

[brownhairedmom]

I'm not telling Adam when the baby is born. He knows my due date, he can ask. If he doesn't, well, not my problem now is it?