Hello All

[puppymom32]

Hello my name is Amy. After months of looking on various conception forums I have decided that I need support and help. I thought that I could get through all of this on my own but I am starting to realize the burden may be too much. I have been ttc for the last 12 years. I didn’t see a doctor until Jan 08 to help with my fertility. I am 32 years old. During the past 12 years I have lost 4 angels. The first was an ectopic in April 2003 and the most recent was another ectopic (same tube) April 2009 crazy part I had my surgeries for both on the exact same day 6 years apart. This last time the Dr just decided to take my tube to hopefully ensure that it cant happen again at least on that side. In between I have had two natural miscarriages. Everyone tells me all the time that I am still young. But I guess that is the part that scares me the most is that if I have had all of this issue so young how much harder will it be the older I get?
I try not to be a jealous person but lately it has been really hard. I hate going to the OB because every time I am there there is usually a waiting room full of pregnant people. It seem like everyone I know is getting pregnant including my sister. I want to be happy for her but it is really hard. Most of my friends my age have babies or older children. So in turn most of the girls I hang out with are in their early 20’s. But I know soon they too will get married and start having babies of their own.
I have been diagnosed with PCOS and was given clomid and glucophage to treat that. The Gluco has always made me so sick. After a year of meds and follicle scans nothing happened so I decided to abandoned the meds and let whatever happen happen this was in Dec I also bought a puppy to help occupy my time. Of course after that I got pregnant in April on nothing. I was so excited I waited forever to take a test just to make sure but when they went into look for the sac they couldn’t find it and then shortly after that I started having pain very familiar pain so I knew what it was. I just finished two rounds of Yaz my Dr Thought it might help my ovaries work harder this month. I am taking the Glucophage and just started Evening Primrose and an Omega 3 pill and of course my prenatal vitamins we have abandoned the clomid because it didnt work. I am very nervous as this will be our first time trying again since the surgery. I don’t know how well it will work with one tube but I keep telling myself that it was the bad tube causing all the problems. I really don’t have the money for IVF and my insurance doesn’t cover any of it. I am really hoping that everything works out this time. Sorry to ramble on so long. I wish you all much success.

 

[Jessica0901]

Hi Amy, so sorry you've been having such a tough time, there is plenty of support on here and lots of girls who understand what you're going through like going in to a waiting room full of pregnant women and you just ache to be like them. I really hope you get your and it works for you, you sound like you need some luck on your side so I'm wishing you plenty of it.

xx

 

[Oneday]

Hi Amy,
I've not been on here long myself but everyone seems nice and friendly and its good to talk to people in a similiar position. I had 2 early m/c's then my little boy , who i thank god for everyday. 18 months ago i had another early m/c followed by an undiagnosed ectopic which ruptured. I will now need IVF privately as i have adhesions, and am finding it all a bit scary to be honest. I am in England are u in the US? I will be crossing my fingers that you reach your goal x

 

[puppymom32]

Jessica,
Thanks so much!!! Some days are much better than others. My sister is about to pop and I was in the room when she had her first daughter and I have told her I just cant do it this time so soon. I hope she understands. We are 8 years apart and she is younger so I just feel like it should be me and not her. Its been really hard we had her shower this weekend and that was hard for me too. So nice to know I am not the only one who feels like this.

Thanks
Amy

 

[puppymom32]

Oneday,
Yes I am in the US. A friend of mine had IVF she is now expecting twin boys next month. Fortunatly her insurance paid a portion of the cost but I do know it took her several tries for it to work. I also just found out the three of the ladies that I used to work with are all pregnant I am trying to figure out how I can go back in and drink some of the water. LOL

 

[puppymom32]

Luckly my tube didnt rupture but it was so damaged they had to take it. I feel really bad that my portion of the surgery and dr bills came out to be @ 1500.00 US and a lady at work just had a baby for that amount. All I got was one less tube I feel ripped off.

 

[Oneday]

Life just sucks sometimesr. Over here I u cannot get ivf on the health service if u already have a child so I don't get any free goes. Private is 3-4k , $2000 ? not sure how much my spell in hospital would have cost but I guess they did save my life x
I know how you feel seeing other people with babies/pregnant I have had 3 people to see pregnant at my sons school 3 times a week and now I seethem with their newborns and a colleague is due in August it feels a bit like adversion therapy not sure if u ever get used to it though x

 

[wishn2Bmom]

Hun I am so SORRY I haven't been trying near as long as you, but I can certainly understand the same sentiments about seeing people with babies at the doctor. I am starting to think they should have 2 waiting rooms. Like how peds have a well and sick waiting rm... obgyns should have pg and not pg! I just had suregery last month to HOPEFULLY correct my infertility, but I am still scared to death that we will end up having to do IVF. Like you my insurrance doesn't cover a thing, and we really can't afford it. Most fertility specialists offer financing though. Have you thought about going that route? I have some friends who are just starting down that road, and they said for them it was 10,000 for the first month and an additional 2,000 every month after that until you fell pg! That is a TON of money, but i'm at the point where i'm thinking if thats our only option then we will just have to find a way! I also know another woman who has two little boys, both through IVF, the youngest is almost 2 yrs old and she still has over 10,000 to go. It's worth it though if you can afford to make the payments. Lots of to you!!!

 

[puppymom32]

Wishn,
I totally agree about the seperate rooms I even asked my OB why they didnt have that he just kinda shruged. I am not ready to give up yet and go for the IVF until I have not other choice but as you mentioned it is definetly worth it. We might try IUI first if we have to then IVF. If you dont mind me asking what type of surgery did they do I notice that you have endo. When my dr took out my tube she went ahead and looked around and found out that I had some endo in the back and a fibroid which she said should be ok because it is in the muscle and taking it out would do more harm than good. Good new is she ran dye through my remaining tube and it worked fine. Otherwise she was just going to remove the left one also. So needless to say I was so scared that I wasnt going to have any tubes when I woke up from surgery so I was delighted to have one. I guess things happen for a reason. Baby dust to you as well. Hoping that everything is fixed and in working order now.

 

[puppymom32]

Oneday,
If you even wanna vent I am here and completely understand how you feel. Sometimes I just want to stay inside away from all the prego people but I guess life goes on.
Amy

 

[wishn2Bmom]

They did a laparoscopy with chromotubation. The lap part was just two REALLY small incisions one for a camera and one for a laser. They went in and looked around to see if any endo was there and if or in my case when they found some they lasered it out! The Chromotubation was just checking to make sure my tubes were clear and sure enough they were. That wasn't originally in the plan but I asked them to do that while they were in there. Why not right? My doc said that based on what she saw in there she was confident that the endo was the reason for my infertility and that (fingers crossed) we should be able to conceive. So here's hoping!!!

 

[puppymom32]

Thanks wishin my doc also checked my one good tube when she was in there. She found some endo by didnt remove it. I am kinda suprised she didnt while she was in there she said we could treat that with meds if I wanted to stop trying for a while and I told her no for now but if it gets worse then I will. She said it was pretty mild but might only get worse.