Hello ladies understanding friends so badly needed please

[oldbirdni]

MHi girls , I've moved here from pregnant over 35 , I have had a nightmare rollercoaster for the last month , at 44 discovering I was pregnant was the most amazing feeling , at 5 weeks I was told all was ok . Then a week later I started spotting but was brushed off by a ''12' year old doctor who said your 44 go home and wait for it to come away! I went hOme bleeding stopped ... Hopes back up .. Then it started again so was admitted and told possibly no sac but hcg 2800 pain started . Told it was ectopic went to theatre , woke up and got told doctor ' couldn't ' find baby so had to have mexothrate shot ... Levels rose by 2000 so a second shot given and sent home. 24 hours later excruciating pain and admitted again this time emergency open surgery and little bean found embedded in muscle outside Fallopian tube and womb . I'm distraught as I felt this was my tiny miracle at my age , I wanted this baby so badly and am asking you lovely lovely ladies for a little of your support as I so desperately want to try again as soon as I'm fit too but feel so isolated here as I don't know anyone and find it so hard to explain how strong my maternal feelings are ,

 

[dachsundmom]

I am sorry for all that you have been through.

 

[Natsby]

I am so sorry for your loss, how awful to go through all that. I understand how you feel, I have had two mcs and the feeling of wanting a baby seems to get stronger with each one. I tell friends who don´t want kids that it is a little like being madly in love with some one who doesn´t love you, you feel it so strongly, think about it all the time and feel out of control. You are in the right place to vent here and we all understand how you feel so you aren´t alone. I hope time brings you some peace and the baby you want so badly. Good luck and give us a shout when you need a shoulder to cry on.

 

[oldbirdni]

Thank you so much , I feel a little better after actually putting into words on here xx

 

[oldbirdni]

Natsby thank you so much for your lovely reply . How you describe the need is exactly right , I know I have to wait at least 3 months because of the shots but also because I need my uterus to recover from being opened to explore but at 44 I feel every second that passes knowing I'm already on borrowed time fertility wise and I find that so hard too. Ihave been out of hospital for 2 days so know my hormones are shot to pieces but just want the tears to stop x

 

[dachsundmom]

Take the time that you need and let yourself grieve for your loss. Please vent when you need to; it's why we are all here.

 

[Garnet]

So sorry had two MC in the last two years so I know how you feel. Give yourself time to recover and try again when you are ready. Pamper yourself in the mean time....

 

[Sus09]

I can fully understand how you feel. I had a molar pregnancy few years ago, and like yourself i was sent in an out of hospital several times bleeding and not knowing what was going on! To get the bad news and my baby loss.
As dmom says, you need time to grieve and recover. In the meantime, we are here for you!!

 

[Natsby]

In terms of hormones I went to have acupuncture after both my mcs and that got me back on track and slightly saner. Maybe you could find a practitioner near you? Be kind to yourself hugs.

 

[sukisam]

So sorry for your loss hunny, it sounds like you've been through a rough time . Make sure you have people around you looking after you.
When you're strong enough you can think about can ttc again. We all know what that crazy maternal feeling that can not be ignored is like!
i'm glad you feel a little bit better writing it down.
Take care
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[readyformore]

Big ((hugs)).
What a rollercoaster of emotion you've been on.

 

[hollyhopeful2]

I had an ectopic a number of years ago. I'll never forget the elated feeling of finding out I was pg. I was so excited for that baby!! But it wasn't meant to be. It took me a long time to get over that one. Seeing diaper commercials on tv was enough to send me into a fit of tears. Now, getting close to the end of my fertile years, people cannot understand why I want another child. They think I'm crazy!! But it's just like Natsby described. It's hard for people to understand that maternal drive that makes you want to have a baby if they have never felt it. You are in good company here!

I'm so sorry for your loss...

 

[Junebug_CJ]

Oh hun, how devastating... My heart goes out to you for your lost angel
I hope you are blessed with another little miracle, you truly deserve it!

 

[Eleonora]

The twelve year old doctor phenomenon is a side effect of being over 35 that I hadn't thought about yet! Yikes! Your story is heartbreaking. I wish you healing and peace of mind and another chance as soon as possible.

 

[Macwooly]

So sorry for your lose and the pain you are going through

This is the place to share all so vent away if you need to

 

[Butterfly67]

So sorry for your terrible experience, I hope you can physically recover quickly and get your bfp

 

[Rashaa]

Sending you hugs and so sorry for your loss . You are in a great company of women here who will pamper and support you.

 

[oldbirdni]

Thank you all so much for your lovely messages of support , I now feel I'm with people who understand the devastation of the last month and just what I'm going through . Although we are all over the world I really feel I've met some lovely lovely ladies who I consider my friends xxxxx

 

[onmymind17]

MHi girls , I've moved here from pregnant over 35 , I have had a nightmare rollercoaster for the last month , at 44 discovering I was pregnant was the most amazing feeling , at 5 weeks I was told all was ok . Then a week later I started spotting but was brushed off by a ''12' year old doctor who said your 44 go home and wait for it to come away! I went hOme bleeding stopped ... Hopes back up .. Then it started again so was admitted and told possibly no sac but hcg 2800 pain started . Told it was ectopic went to theatre , woke up and got told doctor ' couldn't ' find baby so had to have mexothrate shot ... Levels rose by 2000 so a second shot given and sent home. 24 hours later excruciating pain and admitted again this time emergency open surgery and little bean found embedded in muscle outside Fallopian tube and womb . I'm distraught as I felt this was my tiny miracle at my age , I wanted this baby so badly and am asking you lovely lovely ladies for a little of your support as I so desperately want to try again as soon as I'm fit too but feel so isolated here as I don't know anyone and find it so hard to explain how strong my maternal feelings are ,

Big huge hugs coming your way I am so sorry to hear that, how totaly and utterly frustrating that must be, please dont give up hope, and prayers are going up that you get your super sticky bean, in the right spot very soon!!

 

[crystal443]

So sorry for your loss