Skywalker
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Sep 28, 2012
- Messages
- 1,803
- Reaction score
- 1
It's like the title says. I honestly thought I was pregnant this cycle and we weren't trying before now, but when I got AF today, it crushed me. I've been sobbing on and off ever since, because it felt like losing an actual baby.
SO wants to wait until we're more financially sound to start trying to have a baby but I feel like it will take years to get to the point he's talking about. I obviously want to be smart about this - with my son, I was in an abusive relationship and found myself unexpectedly pregnant and I just had to make my life go right. Now, I have a chance to plan things out, and yes, having done it the other way, it certainly would be less stressful to have less financial worries, but I also think that there was no greater motivation for creating money out of thin air like I did when I was pregnant with my son. Part of me just wants to throw the cart in front of the horse because even though it's supposed to go the other way around, I feel like we're both divorcees, I just turned 30, he's almost 40, we're not getting any younger and I want to have at least a few more children. I don't want to wait two years, three years, four years, five years, especially since often times when there's no immediate "emergency" like an un-planned pregnancy, the status quo can just go on and on unchanging and then you're NEVER "ready" to start trying.
Not what I want to do.
He's been wanting biological children of his own for a long time, and he also was very sad to learn that AF came today, but he just cheerily says, "Well, I know we'll have that in the future." That might be more consoling to him than it is to me because to me it makes it sound like this indefinite, vague future that's never going to actually come.
How do I talk to him about how I feel? I want to at least start tracking my cycles and maybe start taking vitex and some other fertility supplements now that I'm no longer breastfeeding and get my cycles under control, and then honestly what I'd like to do is not try but not prevent, not pull out anymore, and then if it happens, it's not like we're living in destitution, we could provide for a baby right now. It's just that we're not yet married and he wants to have enough money for a ring, to properly propose, to have a nice wedding, and a nice honeymoon IDEALLY before having a baby but even though we're paying our bills right now just fine, having excess to cover that isn't just going to necessarily pop up over night so that's what makes me feel like it's going to be this neverending cycle.
Anyone else know how I feel and have any advice on how to approach this?
SO wants to wait until we're more financially sound to start trying to have a baby but I feel like it will take years to get to the point he's talking about. I obviously want to be smart about this - with my son, I was in an abusive relationship and found myself unexpectedly pregnant and I just had to make my life go right. Now, I have a chance to plan things out, and yes, having done it the other way, it certainly would be less stressful to have less financial worries, but I also think that there was no greater motivation for creating money out of thin air like I did when I was pregnant with my son. Part of me just wants to throw the cart in front of the horse because even though it's supposed to go the other way around, I feel like we're both divorcees, I just turned 30, he's almost 40, we're not getting any younger and I want to have at least a few more children. I don't want to wait two years, three years, four years, five years, especially since often times when there's no immediate "emergency" like an un-planned pregnancy, the status quo can just go on and on unchanging and then you're NEVER "ready" to start trying.
Not what I want to do. He's been wanting biological children of his own for a long time, and he also was very sad to learn that AF came today, but he just cheerily says, "Well, I know we'll have that in the future." That might be more consoling to him than it is to me because to me it makes it sound like this indefinite, vague future that's never going to actually come.
How do I talk to him about how I feel? I want to at least start tracking my cycles and maybe start taking vitex and some other fertility supplements now that I'm no longer breastfeeding and get my cycles under control, and then honestly what I'd like to do is not try but not prevent, not pull out anymore, and then if it happens, it's not like we're living in destitution, we could provide for a baby right now. It's just that we're not yet married and he wants to have enough money for a ring, to properly propose, to have a nice wedding, and a nice honeymoon IDEALLY before having a baby but even though we're paying our bills right now just fine, having excess to cover that isn't just going to necessarily pop up over night so that's what makes me feel like it's going to be this neverending cycle.
Anyone else know how I feel and have any advice on how to approach this?
