Help/Advice needed on Overcoming BF Difficulties -long

[cooch]

Here are the issues

* short nipples, didn't like the guards
* very large, very droopy breasts
* felt like I was going to squash baby
* baby was hungry and (I'm talking early on) had to be supplemented with formula which he gulped down
* he seemed to fuss at the nipple
* I found the holds very difficult
* I really don't want to bear flesh in front of anyone. I felt awful about this as I felt exposed, as fat as a cow and so emotional. Not just that I don't want people seeing anything, I am very very uncomfortable with it.

Here's also some background. I really wanted to bf and was told at my course you just put baby to the nipple... I ended up with an emcs and found it hard to hold my son in the rugby hold which was recommended. He took to a bottle really easily and quickly. Had the midwife not suggested the guards to me, I may have persevered naturally. Her comment really hit me as a woman, my breast and nipple wasn't good enough. It dented any confidence, and I had very little. My milk came in on day 5, I seemed to have a good amount. At that point he'd been fed by bottle, so I expressed. I got 4oz that day from expressing just 15 mins.

I want to do as much as I can for my next child and for myself. So I'm planning in advance, any help or tips would be greatly appreciated. Thanks you. X

 

[_Meep_]

I struggled with holds too. I am not a very large person but my baby was 8 lb 15 oz ... I have a really short upper body and found it hard to position her comfortably so that her face was level with my nipple. My breast either seemed too low, or she would be lying too flat, and as I had oversupply and a horrendous letdown, she needed to be more upright than I could manage and she choked a lot.

She also had (still has) a very tiny mouth and quite a receded chin. We suffered multiple nursing strikes.

In the end, the only way I could feed her from about 4-10 months was lying side by side in bed. While lying on my side I would either feed her from the breast that lay against the bed or the breast closest to the ceiling, leaning over a bit - whichever felt more comfortable. I've always had average breasts, but once my milk came in they were massive, so I had no issue reaching her mouth in this position like a smaller-breasted lady might. I did have to hold bits of breast away from her nose sometimes, lol, but I found positioning her slightly lower than the breast with her head back, then guiding the breast with my hand helped. I know everyone says to bring the baby to the breast and not the other way round, but that never worked for me. I probably did it all wrong, but we are still going strong at 13 months, so whatever!

Now she is bigger I can sit her up more, with her head against my bicep and take my breast out of the neck of my top. I find this much easier than lifting my top and doing it that way, as it provides a little extra lift, though I still like to hold the breast in place with my other hand, as she doesn't have the strongest latch. Doing it this way also covers more flesh, but after breastfeeding for over a year, I'm not bothered by that any more.

Have you considered a nursing cover? Bébé au Lait make some pretty ones that you just hook round your neck and away you go. There is a stiff hoop thingy round the neck that allows you to be able to look down at your baby, but nobody else can see anything. I've never actually used mine, but it is a good design.

I don't have much advice regarding the other points on your list, but all babies are different, and the fact that your son struggled with the shape of your nipples doesn't necessarily mean your next child will. There are tools available for flat or inverted nipples in places like Boots (if you are in the UK), which gently draw the nipple out to make it easier for baby to latch.

Finally, I would urge you NOT to speak to a midwife if you encounter considerable trouble again. In my experience they are often overworked, and can be brisk and dismissive. They also don't know much about breastfeeding in terms of clashes between the mother's shape and the baby's anatomy. A good IBCLC will absolutely be able to help you find the best method and position for feeding your baby - it's their job, and they are highly trained. Good luck!

 

[cooch]

Thanks meep. I am looking into lactation consultants.