HELP!Aidan in front of the headteacher but other children not told off?

[Aidan's Mummy]

I have been thinking about this all weekend and it has really been troubling me. I will start off by saying that I am under no illusion that Aidan was in the wrong and he should have dealt with it in a different manner but I feel the other children involved should have been talked to too.

Aidan is 5 and coming to the end of his first year at primary school. On Friday when I was picking him up his teacher pulled me aside and said that he had been sent to the head teachers office as he hit some other children. She said that at lunchtime he haD hit out at two boys twice and after the second time he was sent to the head teacher to be talked to. I asked him if he had done this and he nodded. I took him to the head teacher and made him apologise for his behaviour, told him that behaviour was completely unacceptable and that he will not be allowed on his leap pad this weekend. Once we got home I sat him down and asked him what happened. He said that the boys were running up to him an saying horrible things and that he couldn't play with him, then running away again. They did this more than once and Aidan said he told them to stop it because he was feeling sad. After a while he said that he pulled the little boys hood to stop him running away again and the dinner lady saw it. He was told off and they were sent on their way (no asking what happened or why he did it), a few minutes later after the boys continued to tease him, Aidan lashed out at the other boy. This time the dinner lady took him to the head teacher and he was told that his behaviour was totally unacceptable (fair enough it was and he shouldn't be lashing out). He said the other boys weren't told off or told not to be unkind. Now as I have said Aidan's reaction wasn't acceptable, he should have told a teacher or played somewhere else BUT I feel that it's unfair that two boys clearly wound him up and were being rather horrible but no one told them off for their behaviour? When we were with the head teacher she said more than once it was out of character for him and so did his actual teacher. So surely if a child does something out of character they should find out why? I have been thinking about it most of the weekend and the more I think about it the more it annoys me. What do you think? I am tempted to address my concerns with the head teacher. Do you think this is a good idea or should I leave it? I don't want to come across as a mother who thinks her child can do no wrong. I totally agree with them in respect of him hitting out as this is not acceptable on any level BUT I feel he was being treated rather unfairly in respect of the other boys being continually horrible to him and they were not corrected.

 

[MummyMana]

I'd definitely say something, before the other boys make a game of "wind him up until he gets angry then get him in trouble". Your poor boy was only trying to stand up for himself and, although yes he did go about it the wrong way, it shouldn't have gotten to that point in the first place!

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

Thanks hun. I was worried I was being biased so happy you think the same x

 

[sue_88]

I would also voice your concerns to the head teacher. I'd approach first by saying that obviously now the incident has passed so nothing can be done to the other boys, I don't think they should be reprimanded for something that happened to week before.

I'd ask that they are on watch of him too and this incident has obviously upset Aidan for him to act the way he did.

I was that kid that was bullied and always stood and took it until one day I floored the girl with a smack in the face, and I was suspended (rightly). But these things can escalate and it's not fair on the one being bullied especially in silence

 

[Bex84]

as someone who was a teacher of your sons age group I would talk to teacher or head teacher, though teacher is probably best bet and say your worried about these children picking on your child and could they talk to dinner ladies to make sure they kept an eye on your little boy to make sure it doesn't happen again. I think the problem is the dinner ladies often don't know children well and they will just deal with behaviour seen and could have completely missed what happened. I would also talk to your little boy about importance of telling an adult what has happened strait away, or if he doesn't feel comfortable telling dinner lady making sure to tell his teacher so it can be dealt with strait away.

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

as someone who was a teacher of your sons age group I would talk to teacher or head teacher, though teacher is probably best bet and say your worried about these children picking on your child and could they talk to dinner ladies to make sure they kept an eye on your little boy to make sure it doesn't happen again. I think the problem is the dinner ladies often don't know children well and they will just deal with behaviour seen and could have completely missed what happened. I would also talk to your little boy about importance of telling an adult what has happened strait away, or if he doesn't feel comfortable telling dinner lady making sure to tell his teacher so it can be dealt with strait away.

Thank you Yes we talked about what he could have done differently and to tell a teacher if he feels sad about the way others are treating him x

 

[Bex84]

Kids can be buggers for winding each other up and you can't blame children for reaching end of tether to be honest. I had a similar incident happen when I was teaching and we took it in turns to go teach the children playground games to stop it as children didn't really know how to play. Gosh I remember at primary we were all playing it, skipping, British bull dog, and football. It doesent happen so much now

 

[hattiehippo]

I would def talk to his teacher on Monday so she knows why he behaved like he did. It's not ok that he hit them but obviously the dinner staff didn't see what the other kids did.

I'm a teacher and def don't always believe everything my son says but in this case I'd want to know what had actually happened.

 

[Emma&Freya]

Id definatly speak to the head teacher,

 

[Wriggley]

I would definetly talk to his teacher. bless him. sounds as if he was just trying to stick up for himself. yes hitting is wrong but its also wrong to tease people so its not very fair on him. hope you get it sorted

 

[WW1]

I'd speak to the teacher / HT as well. However, it may well be that the boys were spoken to but separately to your boy. He might not have been aware of it. If you're worried they might be teasing him and it might continue, raising your concerns is a good idea as they can keep an eye on it x