Help from the ladies that have autistic kids

[Borboleta]

Hi ladies,

I have been lurking in here for a while. I have an 18 month old son. He is the love of our life . He has always been what I called a serious baby. You can just see he is a thinker and cautious about things. He is not the most friendly baby with stranger. He doesn't cry if you try to get him but he will want me or my husband to pick him back up or squirm until they will put him down. He has a easy nature about him. Now that he is 18 months he has his temper tantrums sometimes but not often and they can be easily stopped. The thing I am more concerned about him is that his eye contact is not very good. Not terrible. He does look at us but it is not constant and sometimes we call him and he totally ignore us. He does that specially when he is ingrossed in something.
We are raising him bilingual. And he says about 15 words but he really likes saying about 5 all the time. And he refuses to say daddy and says momma but not very often.
He is very loving and loves a cuddle. He doesn't like playing by himself for a very long period of time and wants us to play with him. He loves books and cars ( plays with the wheels but not obsessively). And loves to be outside and tv !!
He does like to look at lights and fan but again not obsessively. He shakes his head once in a while when there is music on and sometimes flaps his arms when he is bored. But just for a few seconds and not all the time.
He is a terrible eater!!!! I don't know how he survives with such little food. Although if you would to give him cookies and fruit the whole day he probably would eat that without a problem. Oh, and French fries !!!
He knows the alphabet and says most of the letters except a few.
He doesn't play with other kids very much. He might acknowledge them but normally wants to do his own thing but most of the time be close to mommy. He is very attached to Me.

My OH and I are a little concerned about autism because of his poor eye contact and his non responsiveness when we call him sometimes.
Would love to hear what you ladies that have autism kids or toddlers at home think.

 

[sam2eb]

From what you describe I wouldn't be worrying about autism

Does he point or try and show you things?

 

[AP]

I would agree, from what you are saying it all sounds very normal!

 

[Borboleta]

Hi ladies
Thank you so much for your reply. We just came back from his 18 month appointment and the doctor is not worried about him having autism. His poor eye contact and ignoring us wasn't a concern to her. She did ask if he is showing us things and pointing and we said yes all the time. She did mention that this is the most important red flag for autism: the lack of communication. Trying to bring his world to our world. And he does that.
Again, thank you so much for replying to me. God bless you all.

 

[OmarsMum]

He sounds like my son at that age, he's highly sensitive & it's often mistaken as autism trait.

He wasn't social, he was an observer, he's also raised bilingual & he was an early talker, he was obsessed with letters & numbers & was able to recognize all letters uppercase & lower at 20 months.

He is a very picky eater, he gets overstimulated easily, he didn't have perfect eye contact but it's due to shyness. Now his eye contact is perfect.

He was obsessed with wheels, he used to turn his buggy & push car upside down to play with the wheels.

He wasn't interested in other kids, but he's much better now & he asks for friends to visit.

His social anxiety is getting better, he still needs time to warm up around strangers but he's ok around people he doesn't know. When he was younger he used to cling to me, even in toddlers classes, he used to watch instead of participating & he expected me to stay around all time.

He didn't start to play on his own until he was 3 yrs, now he spends hours playing with different toys on his own, he has a wide imagination, he invents games & toys.

Some kids are just more sensitive than others xx

 

[Disneygrl]

I don't have an autistic child but I am an autism teacher. I wouldn't be concerned yet. He is still so little. I have seen alot of kids get diagnosed as autistic and they are just delayed or even shy! If he tries to show you things and communicate in other ways, that's a great sign! I wouldn't try to worry about it until heis at least three! There are also other things he could be that may present itself as autism, like sensory processing disorder, but again, I wouldn't worry.

 

[JASMAK]

Sorry, I disagree with the previous poster. Early intervention is KEY! My daughter took 10 mths to be diagnosed and was diagnosed at 2 years, 10 months, and we knew around a year there was something wrong. My daughter is now 8 and has come leaps and bounds. Dont ever let anyone give you advice unless they are QUALIFIED to do so. In Canada, a teacher and even a GP is not qualified. Ask to see a developmental peadiatrician, speech pathologist, occupational therapist, and neuropsychologist. These are the people that diagnosed my daughter. From what you have described, he sounds okay. Take the MCHAT (google it). Early intervention is extremely important!

 

[Disneygrl]

I am a teacher,but also a liscensed behavioral therapist! A speech or occupational therapist have nothing to do with autism. They work with children who have autism as well as children who don't. I agree that early intervention is key, but people are too quick to label their child as having autism which leads to misdiagnosis, which doesn't always benefit the child because they arent getting the correct services.

Obviously, to the op, you need to do what is best for your child. If you see major red flags,of course get it looked at but please be aware just because one person says they are or aren't something, doesn't always mean its true. It takes a team of people.

 

[AP]

A speech or occupational therapist have nothing to do with autism

I don't know where you are hun, but a speech/occupational therapist plays a large part in the diagnosis appointments here. Like you said, it takes a team, and they hugely part of that, and remain with the child after diagnosis

 

[Disneygrl]

I'm in the us, and here speech/ot can't solely diagnosis anyone (and if they do, a school doesnt have to honor it because its not considered medical). They work together as a team (usually called an iep team) to determine what diagnosis a child has. In the us, a child can be diagnosed by a pediatrician or liscened medical professional (behavior therapist can count) or by the iep team once they reach school age (and haven't been diagnosed yet).

I just found it offensive to say that just because I'm a teacher (who only works with children diagnosed with autism), I shouldn't be giving advice. I have been working with students with asd for over five years. Since then, I have a m.ed in special education with emphasis in asd, and in the past year became liscensed to be a behavioral therapist. Everything I do involves doing what is best for my students who have autism. I know I'm not a parent of a special needs child, but I've worked with many kids of all ages and ranges from severe to aspergers. I think a big issue is that it may be different in other countries, but the op is in the us, so that is why I offered advice, as I feel I am qualified to do so or at least offer a different view.

I still think 18 months is extremely young to determine if there is an issue, but that's my opinion from my experience. No one else has to agree.

 

[JASMAK]

I'm in the us, and here speech/ot can't solely diagnosis anyone (and if they do, a school doesnt have to honor it because its not considered medical). They work together as a team (usually called an iep team) to determine what diagnosis a child has. In the us, a child can be diagnosed by a pediatrician or liscened medical professional (behavior therapist can count) or by the iep team once they reach school age (and haven't been diagnosed yet).

I just found it offensive to say that just because I'm a teacher (who only works with children diagnosed with autism), I shouldn't be giving advice. I have been working with students with asd for over five years. Since then, I have a m.ed in special education with emphasis in asd, and in the past year became liscensed to be a behavioral therapist. Everything I do involves doing what is best for my students who have autism. I know I'm not a parent of a special needs child, but I've worked with many kids of all ages and ranges from severe to aspergers. I think a big issue is that it may be different in other countries, but the op is in the us, so that is why I offered advice, as I feel I am qualified to do so or at least offer a different view.

I still think 18 months is extremely young to determine if there is an issue, but that's my opinion from my experience. No one else has to agree.

Speech is required to diagnose here, along with the the others I listed above. At eacher, here (Canada) is not able to. the info you are giving is completely opposite of what we are told here. Early is better.

 

[JASMAK]

Iep here has nothing to do with diagnosis. It stands for individualized education plan, and its about goals for the year, and how to assist the child with challenges, such as my child needs sensory breaks. My daughter is almost 9 and we have been working (or not...schools are the worst) with the schools for awhile. In fact, we are probably switching to private school next year.

 

[Disneygrl]

It must be very different in Canada then. Schools here are most likely different as well, since private schools in the us are usually worse for students with special needs since they don't get government funding like public schools here do.

An iep plays a large role in the us, as here it is a legal document all teachers and therapists must follow (hours of services, etc). But for an iep to be valid here, it needs to be created and signed by the entire team which is teacher, principal or diagnostian, speech and ot if those services are used and usually a psychologist.

It's interesting to see how it is out of the us, because it seems like the exactl opposite. Here you can't even get early intervention services until they are three.

 

[JASMAK]

This US website says that diagnosis by age two is reliable, but children are often not diagnosed until much later and miss the help they need. This is pretty much how it is described in Canada, so I am not sure where you are getting your info from.
https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/autism/hcp-screening.html
I am not trying to be a know-it-all, or rude. I just dont want parents to get incorrect info from a website and not get much needed info for their children.

IEPs in the usa also sound similar to Canada
https://www2.ed.gov/parents/needs/speced/iepguide/index.html#introduction
As you can see, its about creating goals and working on education support.

Here it says in the us, children at risk of having a disability are eligible for help, UNDER the age of three (you stated under 3's couldn't)
https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/autism/treatment.html

You might want to do your own research before telling the OP incorrect info.

 

[JASMAK]

To the OP, here is a good milestones checklist, from a us site
https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/facts.html


Here is the M CHAT
https://www.autismspeaks.org/what-autism/diagnosis/screen-your-child

 

[Disneygrl]

You already said yourself you're not a fan of schools, so there is no point in arguing. Although early intervention is great, its not always reality here in the us, to get any services until the age of three (the cost, time it takes, insurance, getting into a program, etc). The OP will find out on her own, if that time comes. Actually, according to that checklist, her child is "normal", like everyone had said. The truth is, unless the child is very severe on the spectrum, they won't get services or be diagnosed until three or preschool age. Anyone can google information and suggestions but that doesn't mean it's always true unfortunately.

To the op, sorry this thread was hijacked. As a mom, I know you will do what is best for your son. You already did a great job by taking him to a pediatrician, and if anything else arises, be sure to take him back. Do your own research, talk to people in your community for resources and find local schools that are good for special education, in case that need arises. You can private message me if you need anything on services in the us, since we both live in it. Good luck

 

[JASMAK]

You already said yourself you're not a fan of schools, so there is no point in arguing. Although early intervention is great, its not always reality here in the us, to get any services until the age of three (the cost, time it takes, insurance, getting into a program, etc). The OP will find out on her own, if that time comes. Actually, according to that checklist, her child is "normal", like everyone had said. The truth is, unless the child is very severe on the spectrum, they won't get services or be diagnosed until three or preschool age. Anyone can google information and suggestions but that doesn't mean it's always true unfortunately.

To the op, sorry this thread was hijacked. As a mom, I know you will do what is best for your son. You already did a great job by taking him to a pediatrician, and if anything else arises, be sure to take him back. Do your own research, talk to people in your community for resources and find local schools that are good for special education, in case that need arises. You can private message me if you need anything on services in the us, since we both live in it. Good luck

Then wouldn't it make sense for any parent to make sure they get an early start if there is waitlists, as you say (and the same is in Canada...a year for speech is common).

Also, earlier you commented to the effect that children who do not have autism and get intervention, the therapy would not be helpful. I fail to understand how any help with a child who has a delay, autism or not, it would be unhelpful.

I also agree that her child sounds okay (I said that in an earlier post). This is a public forum though, and ANY parent can be reading this, looking for advise. Do you see where I am coming from? No one should take advice from a parenting forum, as advice from a phycian, but at the same time...if you are going to give an advice, as a professional, you should be aware that people MAY take that as professional advice, and a mom reading this, not just the OP, could read this and decide to wait, based on your advice, to get their child critical intervention.

As a mother of a child with autism, it is easy to put your child symptoms off as normal...because it is painful to see that they are not. It is called denial. I was in DEEP denial, for a long time. Reading this post, I would easily have put off getting my child help.

This is the reason why I am picking at your posts. People need accurate and helpful information, from qualified professionals.