Help!? He wont settle..

[Monkey monkey]

My LO is 9 days old and i find it very hard to get him to settle after a feed which can take me up to 2 hours!? In the middle of the night this is a bit of a drag!!

He wakes up, i change his happy, feed him, burp him, cuddle him and then he suddenly rouses again and starts winging so the cycle starts again.

He is quite a hungry baby and can down 4oz in a feed too

What am i doing wrong??

Please help me!!

 

[aimee-lou]

First off eliminate the usual suspects. Is he fed (i.e. has he eaten his fill with a small amount left in the bottle), clean, warm/cool enough, comfy with nothing digging in or rubbing, and winded? I would always sit my boys upright for at least 10 minutes following a feed to help with any reflux, extra wind or hiccups they may get, and to spend some time talking or playing too.

Maybe try some infacol or similar to help with griping pain or any trapped wind. I love this stuff and it is so versatile. It's only £2 in the shops and if it works then you'll swear by it like me. Griping pain is simply the stomach hurting due to trapped wind or indigestion, so can cause a little bit of discomfort - enough for them to grizzle.

Does your LO use a dummy? He may just want to comfort suck, so offering a dummy or even just a clean finger to suck on after a feed will help with any tummy aches, and to settle. I would also offer a comforter - Eddy has a muslin cloth - up against their face for them to snuggle into. You can also try rubbing his tummy in a clockwise direction which newborns can find helpful in moving wind.

I agree in the middle of the night the settling is the worst bit, but it does get better very quickly. Eddy was settling within 20 mins by the time he was 3 weeks, so don't despair and experiment as to what will work for your LO. Hope this helps and feel free to PM me if you need any help.

 

[aimee-lou]

Forgot to say aswell - try not to get stressed about it. All babies are born nocturnal, so they will be up at night to begin with. Stay calm, get comfy and enjoy the peaceful time with just you and your LO. Obviously if he's not settling because he's in pain etc then maybe speak to you HV or your GP to rule out things like reflux and colic, but on the whole, a baby just wants to be held, so the best place is with a parent getting cuddles. Try not to fall into the trap of not letting baby have some peace too. Constant stimulation can make it worse (a lesson I learnt the hard way with my first) so give things time to work, and stay calm. A calm Mummy makes for a calm baby.

 

[Monkey monkey]

Hi i have infacol and he has a dummy too, can be a little hit and miss as to whether he takes his dummy as spits it out quite a bit too? Maybe its cos its still pretty new to him?

Not tried the rubbing the tummy thing so will give that a whirl. What should i do for a comforter? I worry he'd suffocate himself?

Im pretty sure he's warm enough etc.

Its hard to tell he's had his fill of food? He eats a lot and then has a little sick afterwards too. I am right in thinking i feed him until he's full aren't i?

 

[aimee-lou]

Hi i have infacol and he has a dummy too, can be a little hit and miss as to whether he takes his dummy as spits it out quite a bit too? Maybe its cos its still pretty new to him?

Not tried the rubbing the tummy thing so will give that a whirl. What should i do for a comforter? I worry he'd suffocate himself?

Im pretty sure he's warm enough etc.

Its hard to tell he's had his fill of food? He eats a lot and then has a little sick afterwards too. I am right in thinking i feed him until he's full aren't i?

With the dummy - the trick is to kind of hold it in a little until they take it. They do have to learn how to keep it in themselves and some babies don't take to them at all. I have been known to put some infacol actually on the dummy as it encourages them to suck on it and also gives them a taste to focus on which can help too.

I use a muslin cloth for that reason. While it's not fool proof, i tie a knot in the middle to stop it from going over their face. I then put it down the side of their head when I'm holding them or when they're in their cot. It can help to keep the dummy in too - I think it's more to do with the familiar smell, so a flannel shoved down your top and put under or by their head could do the same thing. I've just always used muslins (Earl still takes one to bed with him lol).

The feeding is tricky. If he's spitting up a little then that could mean that he's eating a little bit too much and is spitting up the excess, or he's got pockets of air that bring up milk with them. You could try giving him a couple of ounces, winding then offering the dummy for 5 minutes and then go back to the bottle. It gives them a break, and they can bring up any extra wind. If he's naturally coming off the bottle then it would suggest he feels full, so follow his lead. Babies can sometimes confuse tummy ache with hunger, so offering a dummy or a finger can help them to differentiate it and prevent them over-eating by giving them that comfort suck. If he's draining the bottle and still looking for more then he may need a little more to completely fill him up. It's a balancing act.

 

[Monkey monkey]

Hmmm right, so Im doing the right thing but i need more practice do you think?

 

[aimee-lou]

Hmmm right, so Im doing the right thing but i need more practice do you think?

Personally I would just relax and let him lead the way. Practice is too strong a word. You just need to find what works for you both. Just remember that it's totally normal and you'll be fine. It gets a lot easier when they 'wake up' from the newborn stage as they are then more aware of what they want/need too. When they're still tiny they're often at as much of a loss as we are lol